The VelociPastor (2018)

[Flack]

In the climax of VelociPastor, Pastor Doug uses his super power (the ability to turn into a dinosaur) to attack the clan of ninjas that murdered his girlfriend, who was also a hooker.

I could go more into the plot but you already know if this movie is for you or not.

[Tdarcos]

attack the clan of ninjas that murdered his girlfriend, who was also a hooker.

I could go more into the plot but you already know if this movie is for you or not.

They forgot the cocaine! Today's audiences want hookers and blow. Hookers alone won't cut it. Unless she strips on camera, which is a different genre.

[AArdvark]

Does the movie explain how the pastor acquired super-dino-transformation powers? I think that would make a great prequel.

THE
BITTEN BY A
RADIOACTIVE
FOSSIL
AARDVARK

[Flack]

He was given a sacred dinosaur claw by a dying warrior who had been stabbed by the evil ninja clan who are also trafficking cocaine.

Did I mention the pimp, Freddy Mermaid? His name is mermaid because "he's swimmin' in bitches."

I mean... 5 stars.

[Tdarcos]

He was given a sacred dinosaur claw by a dying warrior who had been stabbed by the evil ninja clan who are also trafficking cocaine.

See, Flack, I told you hookers alone won't cut it, you also need blow to make a successful movie.

I mean... 5 stars.

I rest my case.