The VelociPastor (2018)

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Flack
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The VelociPastor (2018)

Post by Flack » Sat Oct 26, 2019 5:44 am

In the climax of VelociPastor, Pastor Doug uses his super power (the ability to turn into a dinosaur) to attack the clan of ninjas that murdered his girlfriend, who was also a hooker.

I could go more into the plot but you already know if this movie is for you or not.

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Tdarcos
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Re: The VelociPastor (2018)

Post by Tdarcos » Sat Oct 26, 2019 8:44 am

Flack wrote:
Sat Oct 26, 2019 5:44 am
attack the clan of ninjas that murdered his girlfriend, who was also a hooker.

I could go more into the plot but you already know if this movie is for you or not.
They forgot the cocaine! Today's audiences want hookers and blow. Hookers alone won't cut it. Unless she strips on camera, which is a different genre.
"The lessons of history teach us, if they teach us anything, that no one learns the lessons that history teaches us."

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AArdvark
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Re: The VelociPastor (2018)

Post by AArdvark » Sat Oct 26, 2019 3:37 pm

Does the movie explain how the pastor acquired super-dino-transformation powers? I think that would make a great prequel.

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Flack
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Re: The VelociPastor (2018)

Post by Flack » Sat Oct 26, 2019 3:55 pm

He was given a sacred dinosaur claw by a dying warrior who had been stabbed by the evil ninja clan who are also trafficking cocaine.

Did I mention the pimp, Freddy Mermaid? His name is mermaid because "he's swimmin' in bitches."

I mean... 5 stars.
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Tdarcos
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Re: The VelociPastor (2018)

Post by Tdarcos » Sat Oct 26, 2019 7:45 pm

Flack wrote:
Sat Oct 26, 2019 3:55 pm
He was given a sacred dinosaur claw by a dying warrior who had been stabbed by the evil ninja clan who are also trafficking cocaine.
See, Flack, I told you hookers alone won't cut it, you also need blow to make a successful movie.
Flack wrote:
Sat Oct 26, 2019 3:55 pm
I mean... 5 stars.
I rest my case.
"The lessons of history teach us, if they teach us anything, that no one learns the lessons that history teaches us."

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