Who wants to play "The Thing"?

Funny threads throughout the site's history.

Moderators: Ice Cream Jonsey, AArdvark

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Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:10 pm

Eight posts checked in, and as I changed mine, the tally is...

AARDVARK: 3
Bruce: 2
Johnny: 4
Pinback: 1

Unless I cannot count. Or ICJ is fielding pms as votes.
Last edited by Draal on Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:10 pm

And I wonder why I care...

I really should be eating or running or looking at the boots and/or breasts of the girl behind me.

EDIT And quite nice breasts they are!

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Post by pinback » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:17 pm

Draal voted (wrongly and stupidly) for me, or he didn't vote at all. He's too busy babbling about nonsense and filling up this thread with garbage.

BOLD YOUR FUCKING VOTES, you losers.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:29 pm

Yes, there is a tie because I didn't see Draal's changed vote. Bolding your vote would be good if there is other stuff in the message.

I will wait for the others to login and comment.

Lysander is on Yahoo IM like ALL DAY. Someone tell him to come in here and vote. Bruce is usually near a PC as well, so I'll write him an e-mail to see what his take on things is.
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Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:40 pm

Dossier of...

THE PLAYERS!

Rated between 1-10 of probability of being the THING

Bruce - How many Bruces are there? RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 4

Milker - Never showed himself to be anything except witty and friend. Coerces with ICJ on a daily basis (THINGNESS raised for conversational usage of this game) RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 7

Vitriola - Huh? RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 4

gsdgsd - Read his weblog. Does he enjoy derr booze? RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 4

Draal - Fucken moron with a self rending spent who never has anything intelligent to say. Will fail everything in life and become a bitter librarian. One person I can surely speak for. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 10

Johnny - Unknown element. Doesn't speak. Doesn't routinely spout off non-relevant garbage in threads. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 8

Aardvark - Literature guy. Moderator. Generally nice while being borderline disasterous to the relevancy of threads. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 8 (Would he be? How could he be?)

Pinback - Most likely not a homosexual. Not sure. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 6

Casual Observer - Wordly enough to warrant posting as CO. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 3

ChainGangGuy - Has he ever enjoyed Pink Floyd? RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 2

Worm - RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 8

Lysander RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 4

Roody - Reminds me of Ronald McDonald. RATING OF PROBABLY THINGNESS; 10
Last edited by Draal on Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by bruce » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:41 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Lysander is on Yahoo IM like ALL DAY. Someone tell him to come in here and vote. Bruce is usually near a PC as well, so I'll write him an e-mail to see what his take on things is.
Yeah, sorry about that.

Busy day at work, totally forgot about coming here.

Um, it's all completely random anyway, right? I mean, we have no way of making an informed choice about who is or ain't a thing now, right? We're just guessing.

Because there's no seer. This is why Werewolf is a better game. I'm just saying. I vote we play Werewolf instead.

Oh, I can't vote for "Let's play Werewolf?" I have to pick someone on the island? Bummer.

Fine, whatever, Johnny it is. Whoever Johnny is. Who's Johnny (I mean, other than a The Thing, obviously)? Johnny: you are a The Thing.

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Post by bruce » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:48 pm

I think we need a more gruesome backstory, too.

For instance: being tested.

What sort of test is this?

Is it like getting your blood drawn? Or do they stick a swab up your urethra? Or is there rectal probing involved?

From a gameplay point-of-view, no one ever wants to be tested, right? If you are a The Thing, you obviously don't want to be found out, and if you are not a The Thing then testing you wastes one of your tests.

Which means that for gameplay reasons, there should be some backstory that says that testing REALLY HURTS. Like, it involves a big rectal probe with lots of corners AT THE SAME TIME that someone is sticking a wire loop up your urethra.

Man, now that I've got that image I really want to test KNuckles the CLown or Walrustitty. But I guess neither of them is playing, so I'll just stick with Johnny. Sorry, Johnny. Lube up and think of England.

Bruce

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Post by pinback » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:53 pm

Everyone already knows how you get tested. You are tied to a chair, you slice your finger to draw a petri dish full of blood, then Kurt Russell heats up a wire with a blowtorch and then dips the wire into the blood.

It is very unpleasant because of the bloodletting and because you have to spend the rest of the night TIED TO THAT FUCKING CHAIR.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:56 pm

Let me address these points:

1) I hear you on Werewolf. I'd be happy to run an instance of it afterwards, especially if it's the better game... it's like Baldur's Gate 1 and 2. You can't play BG1 after playing BG2. But you could do the reverse.

I'm also interested because I am wondering if this would whole thing would make a good little AGS game. But that's this whole other thing.

2) Getting tested means that everyone knows that, at least for that day, you ARE a human. So some groups give special weight to the opinion of that guy, even going as far as to say that the human that just got proved to be human gets to pick the next testee. (Obviously this doesn't work if the human comes up on the game day's second test, only the first.)

So, if on Game Day #1 AM, you all picked Walrustitty and he proved to be human he'd get to pick the guy he thought was a Thing. Rather logical. Now, the downside of it is that you may pick a lunatic who goes and uses this power poorly and tests himself again or whatnot. It is a game of psychology. Granted, the more people write the easier it is to play the game, but at this point I'm happy to just see the votes come down regularly.

(And I agree that at the very beginning of the game it makes no difference who you test because it's totally luck.)
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:57 pm

I'll give Lysander and Johnny (CO is out of town until Friday) 10 minutes to come and vote and then go with the majority after that point.
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Post by Lysander » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:03 pm

Whoa, hey. Sorry about this, had class. Anyways. I'm voting for Pinback because I want to see him become extremely angry and leave forever before he can turn the rest of us into the things.
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Post by pinback » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:07 pm

You waited that fucking long just to waste your fucking vote, after I've already told you not to, for excellent reasons.

You SUCK at this game, Lysander. And you are BLIND.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:08 pm

Pinback, are you a homosexual?

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:09 pm

(These reveals will be MUCH better in the future. I just want to get the first one over with.)


What price humanity?

Johnny asks you all that question as you drag him off to the testing center. You bastards. You unfeeling monsters. He knows in his heart of hearts that you goddamn Things are doing this to him. You tie him down to a chair and one of you doing your best Kurt Russell impression tells him to cut his hand open.

Johnny does it with spite in his eyes and hate in his throat because he hates you miserable Things. His blood fills the petri dish and he asks a couple of you if you'd like even more, just to be extra-wrong when the test comes back.

The wire is heated. It's dipped into the blood, flamethrowers ready to fire should he be more monster than man.

The test comes back.

Image

Johnny is human. For now.

Johnny gives all of you the finger, especially you shitty Things, which any of you might be.

Pick again, everyone. Should your next test subject be human, the Things will then silently add one of you to their number.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:11 pm

Draal wrote:Pinback, are you a homosexual?
We are playing BBS The Thing not BBS The (snap) Thang!!
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:19 pm

Tally of Vote #1

AARDVARK: 3
Bruce: 2
Johnny: 4
Pinback: 1
-------------------
AARDVARK: 3
Draal (Changed his vote from Pinback)
Worm
Milker

Bruce: 2
Vitriola
gsdgsd

Johnny: 4
Pinback
Roody
AARDVARK
Bruce

Pinback: 1
Lysander

Total - 10

Failed to VOTE
Johnny
Casual Observer
ChainGangGuy

Tested Johnny
Johnny = HUMAN
Last edited by Draal on Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by AArdvark » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:23 pm

With Jonsey's commentary this is actually like playing one of his games, only slower and with more side shit going on.

So now Bruce gets to pick the next testee, right?

Something I don't understand, If there is no ultimate overload (dungeon master) how does anyone know if a person is lying? Oh wait, RobB must know, but then how does he vote? and does V shoulder surf the list?


THE
DETAILS
AARDVARK

Draal

Post by Draal » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:26 pm

"Facility... LOCKDOWN!" screams over the sirens as everyone stops a moment to ponder the announcement.

Johnny hurridly comes running through the hallway corridor as the oddly human occupants saunter back to their rooms, locking the doors behind them.

Given a flamethrower and a bit of wire, faith is placed in the only known human occupant of this place, and he is sweating with frenzy, staring at the doors.

His best guess is all we've got.

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:31 pm

AArdvark wrote:With Jonsey's commentary this is actually like playing one of his games, only slower and with more side shit going on.
I will try to do this effect in greater detail with the test results from here on out. I will probably add in "people" doing actions instead of vague comments, but I will go down the list alphabetically so nobody gets any ideas. The commentary should be clue-free, natch.

Something I don't understand, If there is no ultimate overload (dungeon master) how does anyone know if a person is lying? Oh wait, RobB must know, but then how does he vote? and does V shoulder surf the list?
There is no additional information coming from me to any of the humans -- that would be unethical and completely unfair. In terms of people lying, that's what the goddamn Things are doing to people, over and over again, so this is a feature!
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by gsdgsd » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:34 pm

So just for clarity -- we vote again now? Or later? Or tomorrow?

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