[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women VI

Funny threads throughout the site's history.

Moderators: Ice Cream Jonsey, AArdvark

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 14009
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women VI

Post by pinback » Tue Sep 02, 2003 12:55 pm

Welcome back to Pinback's Women, our ongoing series from the good folks over at the ARMY OF LOVE, where we find out what... ah, fuck it.

Fuck this.

-------------------------

Name: Jana
Nickname: "Checky"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jana.jpg
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- No longer replies to my AIM messages.
- Fuck this shit.

---

Name: Lori Peddle
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- No longer replies to my emails.
- Fuck this shit.

---

Name: Christy Hofmann
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- Pointless. Fuck this shit.

---

Name: Jessica Rose Campbell
Nickname: "Shortcake"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jrc.jpg
STATUS: FUCK THIS SHIT

Recent developments:
- Fuck this shit.

---

Name: Dayna
Nickname: "Vitriola"
Picture: None available (?)
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- Hopeless.
- Fuck this shit.

---

Name: April
Nickname: None available
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/april.jpg
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- Won't hit that again, doesn't sound like. I just don't "do it" for her.
- Fuck this shit.

---

This has been: Pinback's Women, a Pinback's Army of Love production.

Fuck this shit.

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 22757
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:19 pm

Hurm! Well, I certainly hope that one day I never have regular sex with multiple partners because apparently doing so makes one SUICIDAL.

Here! I have just chopped away my right testicle!

Ho ho! There you go, lefty! Run, little fella! Run!

Anything is better than a constant supply of mind-blowing sex! Anything, says Pinback!

You make me SICK. You make me go through involuntary spasms of dry heaving. Look at you! Just re-name it the "Army of Tail" and enjoy it for a little bit! Women want to let you into their lives! And bodies! The better you get at all of this now, the more likely you're gonna keep Miss Right when she eventually does turn up.

OK, when I get home, in addition to the million other things I gotta do, I'll take a half hour and give you a Phalanx of Squoosh update. Hopefully, the last one. I will do it because you're my goddamned friend, Pinner, and I hate to see you down in the dumps.

I am mighty!
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Vitriola

Post by Vitriola » Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:33 pm

C'mon, Ben, winners never quit and quitters never win.

The common denominator in all your dysfunctional relationships is You.

So strap on a pair, Sally, and Get right back on that horse!

--Coach V

User avatar
gsdgsd
Posts: 811
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 5:12 pm
Location: Decatur
Contact:

Re: [ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women VI

Post by gsdgsd » Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:49 pm

pinback wrote:Name: Jessica Rose Campbell
Nickname: "Shortcake"
STATUS: FUCK THIS SHIT
So when do we get more pics?

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 14009
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Post by pinback » Tue Sep 02, 2003 3:22 pm

No more pics. No more nothing.

"This war stops now." - DVC

Roody_Yogurt
Posts: 2044
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2002 6:23 pm
Location: Milwaukee

Post by Roody_Yogurt » Tue Sep 02, 2003 3:36 pm

So hey, are you still quitting your job and going all around the country? You might find some place with some really good fishing, which wouldn't be the point of the trip, of course, but it might help give you some optimism.

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 22757
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Sep 02, 2003 3:42 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:So hey, are you still quitting your job and going all around the country?
I hope so, how else is he going to drag the rest of the country down with him into a horrible quagmire of self-loathing and depression?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Lysander
Posts: 1694
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2003 12:39 pm
Location: East Bay, California.

Post by Lysander » Tue Sep 02, 2003 9:17 pm

Pinback wrote:Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit.
Well fuck *you*, Parrish. Come the fuck on, manl. This is horseshit. Just because every goddamn other woman you meet happens to be a horrid, bottomless pit of sluttishness and despair doesn't mean that it'll always be that way. I honestly cannot believe that you're having so many goddamn woman problems. You're the funnist mofuckeh on the damn internet, and I simply can't see no woman being able to appreciate that. I mean, the one thing that women look for most in guys, aside from "omg hes so hot lololololololololol!1!11!11!1!" is personality. You've got *loads* of fucking personality, Ben! Look, goddamnit, you've got the worst luck with women I've ever seen. That doesn't make it your goddamn fault. Just keep going. You're going all around the damn country now. That means your hittage odds have increased *exponentially*! Don't just stop looking because you're tired of it! I'm tellin' ya, man, you look hard enough you'll find it. Don't give up on this shit.
paidforbythegivedrewbetterblowjobsfundandthelibertyconventionforastupidfreeamerica

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 14009
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Post by pinback » Tue Sep 02, 2003 10:49 pm

Well, okay.

Vitriola

Post by Vitriola » Wed Sep 03, 2003 12:13 pm

I honestly cannot believe that you're having so many goddamn woman problems.
I can. He's hitting on women in and around Los Angeles, California. Nuff said. These bitches couldn't understand me half the time, and I'm not nearly as coruscatingly bright as Ruggles, here.

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 14009
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Post by pinback » Wed Sep 03, 2003 12:39 pm

Well, since I'm fixing to be UP ON OUT this locale in just a matter of weeks, perhaps you can recommend a place with ladies more befitting a man of my unique characteristics!

Souffle of Pain

Post by Souffle of Pain » Wed Sep 03, 2003 1:06 pm

A brothel?

bruce
Posts: 2547
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2002 10:43 pm

Post by bruce » Wed Sep 03, 2003 1:53 pm

An AA meeting?

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 22757
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:03 pm

A morgue?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Roody_Yogurt
Posts: 2044
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2002 6:23 pm
Location: Milwaukee

Post by Roody_Yogurt » Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:18 pm

Strawberryland?

Worm
Posts: 3626
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

Post by Worm » Wed Sep 03, 2003 3:56 pm

Gumdrop Lane?
Good point Bobby!

Jack Straw
Posts: 1578
Joined: Wed May 01, 2002 9:42 pm
Location: R.O.C.

Post by Jack Straw » Wed Sep 03, 2003 3:56 pm

Bars with rainbow flags hanging high and "proud".

Lex
Posts: 976
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 4:03 pm
Location: Scotland, Bonnie
Contact:

Post by Lex » Wed Sep 03, 2003 4:00 pm

A "Queen" Rock-concert?
WHOOA!

Worm
Posts: 3626
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

Post by Worm » Wed Sep 03, 2003 4:01 pm

Good point Bobby!

Debaser
Posts: 878
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2002 9:55 pm
Location: Aurora, IL

Post by Debaser » Wed Sep 03, 2003 4:04 pm

A family reunion?
A grammar school?
A methadone clinic?
A mail-order brides catologue?

Locked