I saw the scariest sport ever... EVER last night. female weight lifting. But the funniest part is that announcers can say "clean and jerk" and "snatch" without laughing while it's going on...

I was under the impression that handball was played in a large glass cubicle like racquetball, only without the rackets. And that it was a one-on-one game. this team sport hand ball is new to me.



THE
LARGE GLASS
AARDVARK

That would be "handball," the sport where our best athletes say, "That's a sport? What?"

What's that sport that's played a little like basketball, a little like rugby and a little like soccer? I see two teams on a court, dribbling and passing around what appears to be a football and trying to throw it into a small soccer goal, while the other team tries to thwart their efforts. I have never, ever seen this game before in my life. Since nobody from this sport will ever shill for a major sneaker company I will never see it anywhere else but the Olympics.

(note: There's that fast-walking competition that looks like ten people with diarrhea heading for the restroom at a cocktail party, but I won't see that anywhere else either)

THE
OLYMPIC
PROPORTIONED
AARDVARK