by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Jun 24, 2017 10:00 am
Melissa and I took our nephew to see the ... what is it, 5th one? last night on his request.
It was probably the worst movie I've ever seen. This thread is 10 years old and just to confirm, I'd never seen the others.
What a mess. I mean, I guess this is Michael Bay's thing now and he loves himself for it. It was two and a half hours long and should have been 70 minutes. Every single scene ends with the (laughably untalented) screenwriters going AN' AN' AN' THEN THERE WAS SHIPS! AND SUBS! AN' AN' AN MOOOOOOOOOM TOMMY WONT LET ME PLAY WITH HOT ROD!
Tommy: Jamapelle croissoint fewf fewf lol
MOOOOOMMMM
Just racing from one stupid scene to the next, and God forbid if you didn't see the others. Why was John Turturro in this? I hope the answer is because of something he did in one of the other movies. I am PRAYING that is it because even if you handwave over all the other rubbish, the fact that Bay thinks, "People enjoy my work; they've seen the others, they will get it" takes it to its own level of contempt.
Everything in this hunk of shit was so ridiculously stupid and retarded. I cannot believe grown adults spent time making this nonsense. Where's the fucking dignity? They honestly believe it's going to make money anyway, so why do anything well. I've worked at companies that made profits. I still took pride in what I did.
I won't even get into the fact that the entire story sounds like someone kinda, sorta heard about the Transformers once and awkwardly tried to shove it in to this stupid movie at times while rolling their eyes and doing it badly on purpose. There is a three-headed dragon in it, should have been Sky Lynx. But it isn't, so I guess they are making their own stuff up? OK, but then they go and name someone Hot Rod, who was the protagonist of the animated movie, but they have him speaking French for some reason. I think, maybe, he was the car that originally trapped the English girl and then turned an illusion off - were they trying to use Mirage there? Who knows, the writers don't. The other dinobots are around, but they are baby(?) Transformers? Grimlock appears everywhere but doesn't appear in the final battle, who knows why.
Like Ben said a year ago, the fact that the original Hot Rod was based on a futuristic car and looks like something that could exist in the world as a cartoon, but that design doesn't is so laughable. Everything looks like utter shit in this movie. I will give them credit for making Wahlberg likable, I guess. Oh, and the English gal was great.
Zero out of five stars.
Melissa and I took our nephew to see the ... what is it, 5th one? last night on his request.
It was probably the worst movie I've ever seen. This thread is 10 years old and just to confirm, I'd never seen the others.
What a mess. I mean, I guess this is Michael Bay's thing now and he loves himself for it. It was two and a half hours long and should have been 70 minutes. Every single scene ends with the (laughably untalented) screenwriters going AN' AN' AN' THEN THERE WAS SHIPS! AND SUBS! AN' AN' AN MOOOOOOOOOM TOMMY WONT LET ME PLAY WITH HOT ROD!
Tommy: Jamapelle croissoint fewf fewf lol
MOOOOOMMMM
Just racing from one stupid scene to the next, and God forbid if you didn't see the others. Why was John Turturro in this? I hope the answer is because of something he did in one of the other movies. I am PRAYING that is it because even if you handwave over all the other rubbish, the fact that Bay thinks, "People enjoy my work; they've seen the others, they will get it" takes it to its own level of contempt.
Everything in this hunk of shit was so ridiculously stupid and retarded. I cannot believe grown adults spent time making this nonsense. Where's the fucking dignity? They honestly believe it's going to make money anyway, so why do anything well. I've worked at companies that made profits. I still took pride in what I did.
I won't even get into the fact that the entire story sounds like someone kinda, sorta heard about the Transformers once and awkwardly tried to shove it in to this stupid movie at times while rolling their eyes and doing it badly on purpose. There is a three-headed dragon in it, should have been Sky Lynx. But it isn't, so I guess they are making their own stuff up? OK, but then they go and name someone Hot Rod, who was the protagonist of the animated movie, but they have him speaking French for some reason. I think, maybe, he was the car that originally trapped the English girl and then turned an illusion off - were they trying to use Mirage there? Who knows, the writers don't. The other dinobots are around, but they are baby(?) Transformers? Grimlock appears everywhere but doesn't appear in the final battle, who knows why.
Like Ben said a year ago, the fact that the original Hot Rod was based on a futuristic car and looks like something that could exist in the world as a cartoon, but that design doesn't is so laughable. Everything looks like utter shit in this movie. I will give them credit for making Wahlberg likable, I guess. Oh, and the English gal was great.
Zero out of five stars.