When my boy was younger I would just make absurd comments during the sexual content, just to put us both at ease. I wouldn't fast forward or anything, hell some of the video games he played at the time were more graphic than the movies we'd watch.


THE
"HEY LOOKIT THE SIZE OF
THOSE BREASTS!
YOU COULD FEED A STARVING
COUNTRY WITH THOSE"
AARDVARK

Hm ya know I think 1000 Corpses would pass as ok for mid-teens because it's clearly a very far out horror movie (not a lot of realism. one reason I really enjoyed that movie). Pulp Fiction on the other hand depicted more real life crap I wouldn't want to discuss with a kid such as drugs and sex.

Also.. high school comedy movies, tv shows depicting school and "teen life" gave me far more unrealistic viewpoints and expectations than watching porn VHS tapes or looking at dirty magazines and comics.

That's just my experience growing up though. You know I don't have kids heh.

Oh- and censoring within reason makes sense, but if you make it too big a thing, it may become the forbidden "oooo I want it" but too small a thing and it may be Cartman (or your kid repeating Cartman "I'll do what I WANT". No one wants that. =P

1) I had access to skinemax at far too young an age
2) my TV viewing gave me unrealistic viewpoints and expectations in many regards (primarily because I knew me home life was not "normal" and I was not receiving a lot of guidance/my parents were not always present, or paying attention if they were).
3) kids will get access to things, that's why establishing communication about uncomfortable things now is important, so when they come across something that makes them feel weird (or could be potentially dangerous or concerning they will actually come talk to you.
The 11 year old and 9 year old have both seen the consent tea video on youtube, have access to a health book with anatomical diagrams, and know what birth control is and why it's important. They have asked me weird questions, like about what "nut" is 'cause a school kid used the term, and I explained as factually as I could. They know you are willing to talk about stuff, then you can establish that trust and do that. If you can't, and are unwilling or unable to find a way, Is there another trusted adult in his life who can?
4) Tdarcos, I understand why you brought up all of the subjects you did because even if it was not directly related, it is still relevant given the context (movies can contain a lot of material and subjects that some individuals may not fully understand, nor understand the extent to which it is fictional, and certain behaviors are not things we want to see normalized). Thus- having someone to clarify that yes prostitutes do exist, but it's unlikely to b all Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and a lot more like exploitation, slavery, and human trafficking/ people who were treated as objects instead of human beings and may not have the help they need is important.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I also think a lot of 80s flicks that would have ruined our minds are tame in comparison and won't mess kids from today up. It's all about ever-changing boundaries AND movies getting more realistic. I watched Psycho and while it's a great movie, I got the impression that parents of whenever it came out would have never let their kids watch it. I think anyone above the age of 9 could watch Psycho in 2016.

Well, there's that, for sure. The deaths in House of 1,000 Corpses are infinitely more graphic than the ones in its spiritual predecessor, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's impossible to compare things like Nail Gun Massacre to Hostel.

The other day I was watching Weird Science with my son in the room and it got to the scene where Lisa goes to visit Gary's (Anthony Michael Hall) parents and she starts talking about him tossing off in the bathroom and I really started squirming. So, reality check -- he's fourteen, and I'm sure he knows about the concept (I was a pro by that age), it still makes me uncomfortable watching a movie with them talking about it, even if the next day he were to say, "I watched Weird Science," it wouldn't bother me that much.

Telling me he watched Pulp Fiction and having him quote lines from the movie around the house is a little worse, but... I'll get over it.

And yeah, you're right on about Psycho. I watched The Birds with Morgan last year and she thought it was a comedy.

Tdarcos wrote:I hope this helps and if you disagree with my opinions please explain so perhaps I can learn something.

Sure, allow me to help.

Point of my post: It's ironic that I am uncomfortable letting my 14 year old son watch the same types of films I watched when I was 14. I'm okay with him watching some of them, but it makes me uncomfortable to watch them with him.

Things you brought up in your response:

- You wrote a book.
- A bizarre theory on the purpose of parents.
- Theories on immune systems.
- Inoculations.
- How inoculations relate to crime.
- Sexually transmitted diseases.
- Contraception.
- Abstinence.
- Teenage pregnancy.
- Unprotected sex.
- The percentage of gay population.
- Whether or not my son is a virgin.
- The sexual habits of teenagers.
- Porn exists on the internet.
* Discussing the films with him.
- Talk about pornography with my teenage son.

* = relates to the conversation.

I also think a lot of 80s flicks that would have ruined our minds are tame in comparison and won't mess kids from today up. It's all about ever-changing boundaries AND movies getting more realistic. I watched Psycho and while it's a great movie, I got the impression that parents of whenever it came out would have never let their kids watch it. I think anyone above the age of 9 could watch Psycho in 2016.

Two things.

1. For a story I wrote I had a character mention something, "You only really feel you have a stake in the future of this world once you've brought a child into it."

2. The purpose of parents are to properly teach their kids how to get away with things. Denying them access to things helps to smarten them up so they learn how to find them themselves. This makes the kid feel proud because the little bastard knows he got away with something, and, more importantly, when he/she grows up and has kids, they know what to watch for in order to keep their kids from doing bad things, stuff that probably we can't even imagine or doesn't exist in our world.

Which then smartens them up so they also learn not to get caught.

Little kids are supposed to go out and play in the dirt so they catch the usual diseases and filth that's in the dirt in order to harden their immune systems. They get innoculations for the more serious ones.

Older kids need to be innoculated to the diseases of the socially infected so they are not victims of bad people, the users of children and the criminal types who prey on others.

As they get older they need to learn about something the schools won't touch with a ten-foot pole. Sexual infection protection and contraception. Over 5000 years of history tell us that abstinence-only is not going to work, and where that is pushed exclusively, we see too many cases of STDs and STIs, along with record levels of teen pregnancy and repeat pregnancy.

It's fine to recommend that abstinence is a good idea, especially for those who are not yet ready, but facing reality is mandatory; that in most cases if you don't drill it into their heads that if they decide to have sex they must use condoms, they won't not have sex, what they will have is unprotected sex because they don't know any better.

The only exception being unless they are only seeing one person sexually and that person must be exclusive to them, then and only then is it safe to use some other form of contraception. And that they must always use contraception, every time. (This is probably reasonable as a general guideline because even the high estimates are that only about 10% of the population is gay; the rest is hetero or bi.)

Since your son is 14 this is probably the time to talk with him about this if you haven't started already. I have to say this: don't be surprised if you find out that he's not a virgin. While supposedly the average age for this is 17, I think the true numbers are underreported and I wouldn't be too surprised to find a large number of 15-16 year olds - especially boys - are sexually active.

But going back to your original argument, to the extent he wants to look at some movies you might not want him to see, the easy availability of anything on the Internet is going to make it hard to enforce.

A couple of things you can do, is to quiz him about the movies he sees, and remind him that most of what is done on film is all fake.

Another thing you could point out that (as you think he's ready) there are people who have sex and record it for other people to look at it, it's called porn. And that whether he finds girls or boys sexually attractive, the stuff they do in porn is done for looks, and it's probably not going to be fun for the person you're with.

Yeah, if you're not really interested in watching ordinary films with him I'm sure you're not going to want to watch porn with him. But you can at least let him learn that a future girlfriend (or boyfriend) is not going to enjoy most of what is done in porn to be done to them

I hope this helps and if you disagree with my opinions please explain so perhaps I can learn something.

The best I can recall, I started watching R-rated films in sixth grade. It was the mid 1980s and there was no shortage of great kid-appropriate films to watch, but in fifth grade at one sleepover we watched a Cheech and Chong movie and in sixth grade I watched Children of the Corn and Porky's during another slumber party. I met Jeff in seventh grade and his parents let him watch anything he wanted. It was at Jeff's house that I first saw Friday the 13th and several other classic horror films.

Before I had kids I swore that I wouldn't be one of those parents who shielded their kids from things, and yet, I kind of am. I get uncomfortable when watching films or listening to music and hearing the f-bomb in front of my kids, but today it seems literally unavoidable. There are a lot of movies I'd love for my son (who is 14) to watch, but I just don't feel like I could sit in the same room and watch them with him. I've even considered slipping him a USB stick from time to time with movies on them so he could watch things in his room. (He has a computer in his room so I'm sure he's seen anything he wants to by now.)

Anyway, my son went to a sleepover last night and told us this morning that they watched House of 1,000 Corpses and Pulp Fiction last night -- two films that I'm not entirely opposed to him seeing, but... probably more intense than I would want him watching.

What a double standard. By the age of 14, I know I was watching the same types of films. I specifically remember going to a friend's 14th birthday party and watching the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Exorcist that night. Jeff also loved those Faces of Death movies. If we weren't 14 when we first saw them, we were close.