My Current Top Ten Movies Of All Time

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Expand view Topic review: My Current Top Ten Movies Of All Time

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Jan 19, 2015 10:21 pm

You're telling me you'd rather watch Schindler's List, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Ark instead of The Thing, They Live and (in your case) Dark Star?
Of course. I might choose The Thing over List, just cuz Christ, lighten up a little, JEW. And I didn't care for E.T. at all. Raiders is better than anything JC has ever done, and if you're comparing him to Spielberg, here are other movies which are better than anything JC has ever done:

Jaws
Close Encounters
Saving Private Ryan
You say IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS THREAD that The Thing was #9 on your list and Raiders of the Lost Ark wasn't even there.

I guess I was assuming that you were a rational human being and not the unhinged social lunatic you've become.

This? This is how it ends?
Now that you're just playing out the string and waiting for the sweet release of oblivion, you see the truth.
You are correct that I crave oblivion. I crave oblivion.

by pinback » Mon Jan 19, 2015 3:29 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Salsher movies are the WORST genre.
They are only good when they are self-consciously funny. Which they rarely are.
Dark Star: terrible, godawful movie. You're the only one that liked it. Launched a genre.
I enjoy it to this day.
Assault on Precinct 13: Three stars.
Never saw it.
Halloween: Two and a half stars, launched the slasher genre.
Terrible.
The Fog: Never heard of it
Never saw it. Heard it was terrible.
Escape From New York: Three stars
Laughably bad.
The Thing: Five stars, arguably the greatest movie ever made
The second greatest sci-fi horror movie behind Alien, and if you don't count them in the same genre, then the best in whatever genre it is.
Christine: Not my thing, but probably the best Stephen King adaption until Shawshank.
Awful.
Starman
Three stars, being VERY generous. Only because you realize that you're not laughing at how awful it is halfway through and then remember it's a John Carpenter movie.
Big Trouble in Little China
Never saw it.
Prince of Darkness
Unspeakably, hilariously bad.
THEY LIVE
Almost so bad that you wonder if it's just a gag. If it's a gag, then yes, four stars. Otherwise, so bad that it smells funny in this room just from your positive review coming up on the screen.
You're telling me you'd rather watch Schindler's List, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Ark instead of The Thing, They Live and (in your case) Dark Star?
Of course. I might choose The Thing over List, just cuz Christ, lighten up a little, JEW. And I didn't care for E.T. at all. Raiders is better than anything JC has ever done, and if you're comparing him to Spielberg, here are other movies which are better than anything JC has ever done:

Jaws
Close Encounters
Saving Private Ryan
It is a shame that it's been almost 25 years since his last good movie.
No, his most recent movies are just as bad as the old ones, it's just you saw the old ones when you were young and excited about being alive, so you remember them being better than they were.

Now that you're just playing out the string and waiting for the sweet release of oblivion, you see the truth.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Jan 19, 2015 2:38 pm

That's right, a-hole, I don't want to even see a reply to that. You know I'm right.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jan 18, 2015 8:08 pm

pinback wrote:Yeah, it defined the worst genre in movie history. Well done, JC.
You are wrong and I am going to make you pay for that statement. Salsher movies are the WORST genre. You sicken me.

- Chick flick
- CGI Kid's Movie
- Teen romance
- Family
- Musical

Those are ALL worse than slasher. All of them.

It is time for a John Carpenter analysis:

Dark Star: terrible, godawful movie. You're the only one that liked it. Launched a genre.

Assault on Precinct 13: Three stars.

Halloween: Two and a half stars, launched the slasher genre.

The Fog: Never heard of it

Escape From New York: Three stars

The Thing: Five stars, arguably the greatest movie ever made

Christine: Not my thing, but probably the best Stephen King adaption until Shawshank.

Starman, Big Trouble in Little China and Prince of Darkness: All have their flaws, but you'd have to say they are all three star movies. Prince of Darkness could have used a single likable character. BTiLC is very goofy. These are bad movies now? You're saying these are bad movies?

At this point he is probably the greatest director in history behind Hitchcock, Coppola and Kubrick. With that run. And The Thing is a better movie than any flick any of those guys directed at that point. Live with it!

That brings us to THEY LIVE. Four stars, unmitigated classic. Just herpy derpy makes a lead out of the schtickiest professional wrestler of all-time, turns him into a 100% believable protagonist that everyone roots for. Ooooh but this guy John Carpenter sucks.

Okay, he never made a good movie after They Live, but still. I'd put his top three against anyone else's top three. You're telling me you'd rather watch Schindler's List, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Ark instead of The Thing, They Live and (in your case) Dark Star? Is that it, Carl? Is that what I FUCKEN SEE?

It is a shame that it's been almost 25 years since his last good movie.

by pinback » Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:46 pm

Yeah, it defined the worst genre in movie history. Well done, JC.

by Flack » Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:16 pm

pinback wrote:HALLOWEEN was a good movie?? Christ. Looked more like a school project than fucking Dark Star did, and Dark Star WAS a school project.
Yes, I'm sure they covered that in the 15-disc Blu-ray collector's edition Dark Star box set they released in honor of a film that defined an entire genre of films.

Maybe I just didn't give Dark Star a fair shake. Maybe one of its 9 sequels or remakes were better.

by pinback » Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:40 pm

HALLOWEEN was a good movie?? Christ. Looked more like a school project than fucking Dark Star did, and Dark Star WAS a school project.

Terrible.

Everyone is wrong about this.

The Thing is so great that you forgive the rest of his nonsense.

by Flack » Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:00 pm

I don't even have it in me anymore. You win.

by pinback » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:52 am

I think Halloween blowed, and I never saw BTILC.

by Flack » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:52 am

You think Halloween and Big Trouble in Little China blow?

by pinback » Sun Jan 18, 2015 9:17 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I am watching Escape from NY again. It is shocking just how great John Carpenter was in his day.
I'm the only person I know who thought EFNY sucked.

Actually I think pretty much all of his movies blow except for The Thing and Dark Star, and maaaaybe Starman.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Jan 17, 2015 12:41 pm

Imgur is a good place to host screenshots, like the screenshot of you clicking on ALL those links.

I am rewatching Alien. I think I finally came around to it. It is a top 15 movie.

by Tdarcos » Sat Jan 17, 2015 10:25 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Tdarcos wrote:
pinback wrote:








Look, any time you post a message with two or more identical links to the exact same item, clearly is a statement by you of "Do not go to this link, it's boring and worthless." So I shall take your advice and ignore it as the garbage you clearly indicate it is. You have something to say, just say it, don't be a fucktard asshole, or at least try not to be, hard as that may be for you.

No, it means you need to click each of the links. I want a screenshot of all the links purple. Now, mister. NOW.
Jonsey, Ben is far better at being a fucktard and/or asshole than you'll ever be. He's had lots more practice.

Try to strive to be better than him, ok?

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:54 pm

Tdarcos wrote:
pinback wrote:
Tdarcos wrote:Dirk Diggler ... was clearly Harry Reems









Look, any time you post a message with two or more identical links to the exact same item, clearly is a statement by you of "Do not go to this link, it's boring and worthless." So I shall take your advice and ignore it as the garbage you clearly indicate it is. You have something to say, just say it, don't be a fucktard asshole, or at least try not to be, hard as that may be for you.

No, it means you need to click each of the links. I want a screenshot of all the links purple. Now, mister. NOW.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:51 pm

pinback wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:7. Re-Animator
No.
It's the greatest horror movie of all-time!

What place do you think the greatest horror movie of all-time should have?

15. Solaris
WHICH VERSION, ASSHOLE!?!?
Clooney and Soderberg.

by Tdarcos » Fri Jan 16, 2015 4:33 pm

pinback wrote:
Tdarcos wrote:Dirk Diggler ... was clearly Harry Reems









Look, any time you post a message with two or more identical links to the exact same item, clearly is a statement by you of "Do not go to this link, it's boring and worthless." So I shall take your advice and ignore it as the garbage you clearly indicate it is. You have something to say, just say it, don't be a fucktard asshole, or at least try not to be, hard as that may be for you.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:24 am

I am watching Escape from NY again. It is shocking just how great John Carpenter was in his day.

by AArdvark » Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:19 am

Well I'm not going to sit here and watch you do some half-assed autopsy on a fish! (movie)



THE
YOU GO IN THE CAGE
CAGE GOES IN THE WATER
YOU GO IN THE WATER
AARDVARKS IN THE WATER
OUR AARDVARK

by pinback » Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:29 pm

Flack wrote:The point was, is a good drama better than a good comedy, or does it sometimes depend on your mood?
No, groundbreaking, incredible filmmaking is better than a good comedy. Or maybe you don't love Jaws as much as I do, in which case, okay, NOW I'll meet you, and we'll watch Jaws together, and every 20 seconds I will explain why the last 20 seconds were so awesome. And then when the Indianapolis scene comes up, I will whisper all the words out loud a half second before he says them.

Everyone will have fun except for you and Alex Kintner.

by Flack » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:23 pm

The point was, is a good drama better than a good comedy, or does it sometimes depend on your mood?

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