by Flack » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:27 am
Those are great! Here are mine:
01. 720 / Ham and Cheese from Arby's.
I fell in love with 720 the first time I saw it and I still love it today. It's the most expensive game I ever bought, and when logic dictated that it was time to sell it, I gave life the big middle finger and stuck it in the corner of my garage instead. More than a skateboarding game, it's an entire world in which one can explore. There are times I feel like I've not seen every bit of it yet, and my score can always be improved.
Back in mid-high when I was heavy into my skateboarding phase I would come home from school, heat up a ham and cheese Hot Pocket, and then go skate. Hardee's had what I considered to be the best Ham and Cheese sandwich for a long time -- just one you can hold in one hand and chomp on while driving or skating or playing video games. There are no Hardee's left around here and the ones that are still around have screwed up the original hot ham n' cheese. Arby's makes a good one too though, and with a bit of Arby's sauce drizzled over each bite, it's damn near perfect.
02. Karate Champ / Pork Chops and Apple Sauce
Unlike the twitch fighting games of the 90s and beyond, I've always felt like Karate Champ was more of a chess match. It's not a matter of who can thrash their sticks faster. It's all about reacting to -- or better yet, anticipating -- your opponent's moves. Is your opponent one who favors the leg sweep over the spinning back kick? Does he know how to block? When he flips over you, will he back kick, reverse sweep, or panic in an attempt to flip back over you? It's not just a physical battle, it's a mental one. Plus maybe if I had the rest of my life to practice I could beat that bonus level with the flying flower pots one goddamn time.
With karate chops comes pork chops, served with apple sauce and mashed potatoes. My mom used to make pork chops when I was a kid and nobody does it better. Plus it would be great for every single visitor to repeat Peter Brady's Humphry Bogart impersonation by saying "pork chops and applesauce!" shortly before I swept the leg like Johnny from the Cobra Kai dojo for a full point and the victory.
03. Donkey Kong / Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
I feel like I could play Donkey Kong forever, mostly because every time I die I feel like I killed myself rather than the game killed me. Whether it's standing under a ladder and getting smashed by a barrel to chancing it by jumping over a flaming barrel, every time my game ends I feel like swearing at myself more than the machine. I don't have what it takes to be a top Donkey Kong contender, but I feel like I have room for improvement.
The Pie Factory level makes me think of pie, and my favorite pie is hot Apple Pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream plopped on top. There are desserts I like more than this one, but this seems like one I would never tire of.
04. Mat Mania / Grand Slam Breakfast
When I was a kid I thought I was really good at Mat Mania. Turns out, the game's just easy. What I both love and hate about it is, you can play it essentially forever until you make one teeny-tiny mistake and then your opponent will not let up for the remainder of the match, ending your game. Unlike games where you get multiple men, with Mat Mania you've got one shot. One single mistake can end your game. It's frustrating and challenging at the same time. It's a mindless game, but one I feel like I could play forever.
And, what goes better with a body slam than a grand slam? Unlike the one at Denny's, there's a Chinese diner (the "Chiner") near me that offers their own version of the Grand Slam. Essentially it's 2 of every breakfast item you can think of: two eggs, two bacon, two sausage, two pancakes, and two biscuits with gravy. You can substitute the biscuits and gravy with grits or oatmeal, which I sometimes do. I don't feel like I would ever get tired of this variety of breakfast food. I could order this every morning for the rest of my life and find something on the plate to eat. I wish they delivered.
05. Dig Dug / Mexican Flag
Like Donkey Kong, I feel like I haven't achieved my Dig Dug apex yet. When I see other people who have doubled or tripled my high score (roughly 85,000) it makes me want to play it again and again. Each time I play I build new patterns. Sometimes I feel like pumping and exploding the enemies is cheating and I try to kill them all with rocks. It's a game I feel like I completely understand.
Dig Dug takes place in the dirt, and when I think of dirt, I think of Mexico. (Not really but it's a funny segue.) And when I think of Mexico I think of Mexican food. My favorite Mexican plate is the Mexican Flag. A real Mexican Flag has three stripes: red, white, and green. Mexican Flag (the dish) comes with three enchiladas (chicken, beef, and cheese) covered in red chili, white sour cream sauce, and green chili. It's a genius masterpiece. Throw some beans and rice on the side along with some chips, cheese and salsa, and man, I feel like this is a lifetime's worth of dinners. Then I could skip the sopapillas at the end and have some Apple Pie with vanilla ice cream.
Honorable Mention: Shinobi
With only five missions and a game that I can beat in 15-20 minutes, it's hard to say I'd want to tie up one of my five slots with this one. It's a good game, maybe even a great one, but it's pattern based and I've memorized the patterns. (It's hard to fault the code; I've owned three different Shinobi arcade cabinets. I've played a lot of Shinobi.) I love the music, the graphics, the levels, and every part of Shinobi. But I loved it so much that I don't know that I could keep on loving it Shinobi.
Which is too bad because I really wanted to put sushi on my list -- specifically, Volcano Rolls. The closest sushi place to my house makes unbelievably delicious volcano rolls. I checked Google and the first five recipes I found for them listed five different types of ingredients. I think the place near me makes the crab and salmon type. They are the most delicious sushi rolls I've ever had. I have often thought that if I ever lost my arms and legs in an accident someone could just prop me up at the end of a sushi conveyor belt and pipe volcano rolls indefinitely into me. Okay actually I've never thought about that before in my life but it does sound like an okay way to live out your days if you lose all your limbs. I'll keep it on tap as a backup plan.
Those are great! Here are mine:
[b]01. 720 / Ham and Cheese from Arby's.[/b]
I fell in love with 720 the first time I saw it and I still love it today. It's the most expensive game I ever bought, and when logic dictated that it was time to sell it, I gave life the big middle finger and stuck it in the corner of my garage instead. More than a skateboarding game, it's an entire world in which one can explore. There are times I feel like I've not seen every bit of it yet, and my score can always be improved.
Back in mid-high when I was heavy into my skateboarding phase I would come home from school, heat up a ham and cheese Hot Pocket, and then go skate. Hardee's had what I considered to be the best Ham and Cheese sandwich for a long time -- just one you can hold in one hand and chomp on while driving or skating or playing video games. There are no Hardee's left around here and the ones that are still around have screwed up the original hot ham n' cheese. Arby's makes a good one too though, and with a bit of Arby's sauce drizzled over each bite, it's damn near perfect.
[b]02. Karate Champ / Pork Chops and Apple Sauce[/b]
Unlike the twitch fighting games of the 90s and beyond, I've always felt like Karate Champ was more of a chess match. It's not a matter of who can thrash their sticks faster. It's all about reacting to -- or better yet, anticipating -- your opponent's moves. Is your opponent one who favors the leg sweep over the spinning back kick? Does he know how to block? When he flips over you, will he back kick, reverse sweep, or panic in an attempt to flip back over you? It's not just a physical battle, it's a mental one. Plus maybe if I had the rest of my life to practice I could beat that bonus level with the flying flower pots one goddamn time.
With karate chops comes pork chops, served with apple sauce and mashed potatoes. My mom used to make pork chops when I was a kid and nobody does it better. Plus it would be great for every single visitor to repeat Peter Brady's Humphry Bogart impersonation by saying "pork chops and applesauce!" shortly before I swept the leg like Johnny from the Cobra Kai dojo for a full point and the victory.
[b]03. Donkey Kong / Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream[/b]
I feel like I could play Donkey Kong forever, mostly because every time I die I feel like I killed myself rather than the game killed me. Whether it's standing under a ladder and getting smashed by a barrel to chancing it by jumping over a flaming barrel, every time my game ends I feel like swearing at myself more than the machine. I don't have what it takes to be a top Donkey Kong contender, but I feel like I have room for improvement.
The Pie Factory level makes me think of pie, and my favorite pie is hot Apple Pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream plopped on top. There are desserts I like more than this one, but this seems like one I would never tire of.
[b]04. Mat Mania / Grand Slam Breakfast[/b]
When I was a kid I thought I was really good at Mat Mania. Turns out, the game's just easy. What I both love and hate about it is, you can play it essentially forever until you make one teeny-tiny mistake and then your opponent will not let up for the remainder of the match, ending your game. Unlike games where you get multiple men, with Mat Mania you've got one shot. One single mistake can end your game. It's frustrating and challenging at the same time. It's a mindless game, but one I feel like I could play forever.
And, what goes better with a body slam than a grand slam? Unlike the one at Denny's, there's a Chinese diner (the "Chiner") near me that offers their own version of the Grand Slam. Essentially it's 2 of every breakfast item you can think of: two eggs, two bacon, two sausage, two pancakes, and two biscuits with gravy. You can substitute the biscuits and gravy with grits or oatmeal, which I sometimes do. I don't feel like I would ever get tired of this variety of breakfast food. I could order this every morning for the rest of my life and find something on the plate to eat. I wish they delivered.
[b]05. Dig Dug / Mexican Flag[/b]
Like Donkey Kong, I feel like I haven't achieved my Dig Dug apex yet. When I see other people who have doubled or tripled my high score (roughly 85,000) it makes me want to play it again and again. Each time I play I build new patterns. Sometimes I feel like pumping and exploding the enemies is cheating and I try to kill them all with rocks. It's a game I feel like I completely understand.
Dig Dug takes place in the dirt, and when I think of dirt, I think of Mexico. (Not really but it's a funny segue.) And when I think of Mexico I think of Mexican food. My favorite Mexican plate is the Mexican Flag. A real Mexican Flag has three stripes: red, white, and green. Mexican Flag (the dish) comes with three enchiladas (chicken, beef, and cheese) covered in red chili, white sour cream sauce, and green chili. It's a genius masterpiece. Throw some beans and rice on the side along with some chips, cheese and salsa, and man, I feel like this is a lifetime's worth of dinners. Then I could skip the sopapillas at the end and have some Apple Pie with vanilla ice cream.
[b][i]Honorable Mention: Shinobi[/b][/i]
With only five missions and a game that I can beat in 15-20 minutes, it's hard to say I'd want to tie up one of my five slots with this one. It's a good game, maybe even a great one, but it's pattern based and I've memorized the patterns. (It's hard to fault the code; I've owned three different Shinobi arcade cabinets. I've played a lot of Shinobi.) I love the music, the graphics, the levels, and every part of Shinobi. But I loved it so much that I don't know that I could keep on loving it Shinobi.
Which is too bad because I really wanted to put sushi on my list -- specifically, Volcano Rolls. The closest sushi place to my house makes unbelievably delicious volcano rolls. I checked Google and the first five recipes I found for them listed five different types of ingredients. I think the place near me makes the crab and salmon type. They are the most delicious sushi rolls I've ever had. I have often thought that if I ever lost my arms and legs in an accident someone could just prop me up at the end of a sushi conveyor belt and pipe volcano rolls indefinitely into me. Okay actually I've never thought about that before in my life but it does sound like an okay way to live out your days if you lose all your limbs. I'll keep it on tap as a backup plan.