by pinback » Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:56 am
In the movie Starman, Jeff Bridges comes down from outer space and totally freaks out Karen Allen. However, over the course of the movie, from their early, cautious interactions, their journey across the country, and the various trials they overcome, they slowly learn about each other, and in the end, learn to love each other. It's a timeless story, as compelling now as when it was first told.
In the movie Thor, Thor is Jeff Bridges, Natalie Portman is Karen Allen, and instead of forging a richly woven, multilayered relationship, they both fall in love immediately because they are both hot.
Thor is the dumbest movie of all time. Not because it's a comic book movie with a bunch of crazy shit happening, but because it doesn't even make the slightest attempt to have these two gradually form a relationship. You're just basically told right from the get-go: "Check it out, he's hot, she's hot. Boom! Love, right? Look, just stare at 'em and watch the goddamn movie already."
It's insulting, really.
However, all that crazy shit going on is really cool and amazing. Asgard is the most beautiful fake environment I've ever seen in a movie. Thor is hot. Natalie Portman is gorgeous. So, for every man, woman, or child, this movie is very pleasing to the eyes. For that, it earns my coveted "TWO AND THREE QUARTERS STARS" award.
But goddamn is it stupid.
In the movie Starman, Jeff Bridges comes down from outer space and totally freaks out Karen Allen. However, over the course of the movie, from their early, cautious interactions, their journey across the country, and the various trials they overcome, they slowly learn about each other, and in the end, learn to love each other. It's a timeless story, as compelling now as when it was first told.
In the movie Thor, Thor is Jeff Bridges, Natalie Portman is Karen Allen, and instead of forging a richly woven, multilayered relationship, they both fall in love immediately [i]because they are both hot.[/i]
Thor is the dumbest movie of all time. Not because it's a comic book movie with a bunch of crazy shit happening, but because it doesn't even make the slightest [i]attempt[/i] to have these two gradually form a relationship. You're just basically told right from the get-go: "Check it out, he's hot, she's hot. Boom! Love, right? Look, just stare at 'em and watch the goddamn movie already."
It's insulting, really.
However, all that crazy shit going on is really cool and amazing. Asgard is the most beautiful fake environment I've ever seen in a movie. Thor is hot. Natalie Portman is gorgeous. So, for every man, woman, or child, this movie is very [i]pleasing to the eyes[/i]. For that, it earns my coveted "TWO AND THREE QUARTERS STARS" award.
But goddamn is it stupid.