Well, Roy Halladay threw a no-hitter against the Reds, in his first post-season appearance. How did I do for my predictions? The Mariners lost almost 100 games. Haha whoops. But the Phillies look to be in the best shape to win the World Series.

I am so fucking bitter that Doc isn't a Blue Jay any more. It really makes the entire sport a pointless endeavor.

Wikipedians are Cunts, Volume Infinity:

After a conversation with my brother on the drive home Friday, I decided to add a "Citation Needed" to the page on Tommy John Surgery, where it lists Tommy John as one of the people who had it. Ha ha ha, right?

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Tommy_John_surgery&oldid=381405524

Less than two hours later, we get a revision from this cunt:

28 August 2010 Baileypalblue (talk | contribs) (17,713 bytes) (replacing cite tag that ought to be superfluous anyway)

Yeah, it really ought to be superfluous! Hahah, what a fag. I like to think that by wasting his time converting a Citation Needed tag to an actual cite, I've made the Internet a better place.

(Plus, the page will now forever have a cited reference by Tommy John's name. Hahah!)

Roy Halladay threw a perfect game for the Phillies against the Marlins. He's the man. What else can you say? Well, he's the best pitcher in the game, but then I always say that!

A few weeks ago, Alex Rodriguez, who all right-thinking Americans despise, trotted across the mound while an A's pitcher named Dallas Braden was throwing. This irked Braden, and A-Rod wouldn't shut up about it. He almost immediately went to the tactic of trying to excuse his terrible behavior (don't walk on the mound, you piece of garbage) by telling people how famous he is.

Today, Dallas Braden threw a no-hitter against the Tampa Bay Rays.

JC FUN FAX: I decided to drop Joel Pineiro from my fantasy baseball team this morning because I don't need someone who can get me 26 points one week and -14 the next. I looked at all the available pitchers nobody had and cross-referenced them with the copy of [i]Baseball Prospectus[/i] I bought. Of the available free agents, I decided that Dallas Braden would be the best choice. My claim would not take place until tonight at 11:00PM.

And then he goes and throws a perfect game. (I had no idea he was pitching today.)

I will demand that the four people ahead of me with waiver priority NOT put in a claim, because they're just going off his results today, NOT the six minutes of research I did. I deserve to have him on my team. I'll report back with how many "fuck offs" I get.

You make a good point. [i]Great[/i] point. You get the runs if it's a grand slam, so sure, sure. 4-0, then. We're rooting for 4-0.

Although if Roy gets a complete game shutout, I get like 45 points in faNtaSy bAsEbaLL. But nobody "cares" about somebody's fantasy baseball team and none of you should care about mine.

I went to a Sabres-Bruins game once and a guy was wearing a Doug Gilmour jersey. For the LEAFS! It was my first exposure to a guy wearing colors of some team not EVEN there. For most of the game our section would chant, "Gilmooooooour's a Raaaaaapisssssssst." I don't even know if that was true. Lemme go to the Wikipedia, where I can get bad info with no amusing writing whatsoever.

...

Haha, it really is the world's most worthless website. All I can see is that Gilmour had a live-in teenage girlfriend at one point with no details if that means 19 or 13.

Anyway, I'm going to pre-apologize to you and Kathy for wearing Blue Jays clothes on Tuesday. I know I shouldn't do that. I'm not going to wear, like, a jersey or anything. This sums up everything wrong with baseball. I should be drowning in scotch and sorrow on Tuesday nowhere near that game, instead catching Doc when the Jays come to down in June. Instead, look at me. LOOK AT ME I'M FILTH.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]I also hate the Phillies, so I hope they lose 102-0, with all 102 runs coming in the 11th inning as Roy pitches 10 perfect innings before getting pulled due to pitch count.[/quote]

UMMMMM, that isn't possible, because the home team bats last?? So at most it would be 4-0??? (Or maybe 1-0, I forget the rule on that.)

[i]UMMMMMMMMMMMM[/i]

I got tickets for Halladay vs Rockies, May 11th, Tuesday. We're behind home plate. We're gonna see EVERY GODDAMN SINKERBALL the man throws. I will orgasm before the third inning.

I also hate the Phillies, so I hope they lose 102-0, with all 102 runs coming in the 11th inning as Roy pitches 10 perfect innings before getting pulled due to pitch count.

Because of the laughable way baseball is setup, there is no chance the Blue Jays will ever go to the playoffs again. Therefore there is only winning in seeing other people involved in the game freak out as a [i]result[/i] of the Blue Jays.

Yesterday, Adam Lind hit a three-run homer in the top of the ninth to give the Jays a lead in a game against the Cleveland Indians that they had no business taking. Toronto held on for the win.

REACTION

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t9-DIKDGGA[/youtube]

I was in Phoenix for work, and saw the Pirates/DBacks game last Sunday, my first ever all-NL game.

Christ, the Pirates suck. I always kind of KNEW that somewhere in the back of my head, but to see it live... Yikes. The DBacks scored 13 runs in ONE inning.

Whoa, the next quote down is from an asshole in the Yankees' organization:

[quote]"I'm sorry that my friend Mark continues to whine about his running the Brewers. We play by all the rules and there doesn't seem to be any complaints when teams such as the Brewers receive hundreds of millions of dollars that they get from us in revenue sharing the last few years. Take some of that money that you get from us and use that to sign your players. The question that should be asked is: Where has the hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue sharing gone?"

—Yankees president Randy Levine, on Brewers owner Mark Attanasio's recent comments.[/quote]

Yes, the Brewers have received HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS from the New York Yankees. What a cretin. What a cretinous thing to say. Their payroll could be $300 mill as well!

The question that should be asked is, why not move five teams into NYC and three into Boston and LA? Right, that would make for a stupid product, so there is artificially two in NYC. Just like there should artificially be complete revenue sharing, with payroll distributed equally to all 30 teams. To sit there with no hope of competition in your city and make one dumb fucking comment after another (way to go with weak-ass shit about the Brewers) is why everyone fucking hates anyone/everyone remotely involved with that team and city.

[quote]"If he doesn't want to do Red Sox and Yankee games, he should tell the umpires' union. Then when we're in the World Series, he'll be out of that assignment, too.''

—Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia, on umpire Joe West's attack on Boston and Yankees for taking too much time to play their games.[/quote]

It's hard to be the unlikeable one on a team with Kevin Youkilis and Jonathan Papelbon, but what a smug cunt. This is what you get when you let two teams buy playoff spots each year.

Yeah, I don't know why they keep fucking this up. Well, I do: Selig is the worst commissioner in - well, Christ. That always used to be the case. But now we know that Stern fixed games and Bettman just added 4 teams and 22 games to the NHL.

Anyway. Baseball used to start with the Reds and it should always start with the Reds. This weekend was beautiful. It was utterly baseball-free for me.

It's really that tough to do the following?

- Reds vs NL Champs Friday night at 7PM Central. HEY I just finished a shitty week of work, says America, I'll watch some baseball as I unwind.
- Full plate of games starting Saturday. A morning game and a bunch of afternoon & evening games take place. You're primed for it because there was buzz about the season starting Friday.
- If they want to showcase NY/Boston so bad, they can then have them play their first games Sunday night at 9:30PM EDT or whenever the fuck that game got started. I know it won't end till like 2 AM or such.

And then, fuck it, a full weekend of games in the weekend that follows. If teams get two off-days during that first wee then GOOD. It means we see the best pitchers a tiny bit more often.

Instead it's whatever the fuck it is now. And it always will be.

I predict I'm not going to give much of a shit this season.

Oh, look. Yankees/Red Sox. On TV.

For predictions with actual research behind it, go to baseballprospectus.com. Here are my incorrect predictions:

Playoff teams:

[b]NL[/b]
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
St. Louis
Arizona

[b]AL[/b]
New York
Seattle
Detroit
Boston


- Roy Halladay wins 24 games.
- Brandon Wood coming back gives the Diamondbacks the best 1-2 punch in baseball (with Dan Haren)
- NY wins 99 games, Boston 95.
- Seattle beats NY in a 7 game series since Eric Bedard miraculously strung 2 good months together at the end of the season, giving the M's the best 1-2-3 rotation in baseball, with Felix and Lee.
- Blue Jays finish 4th, not 5th in the AL East
- MVP & Cy Young: Pujols, Halladay / Teixeira, Lee