by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:39 pm
I absolutely cannot stand that smug douche bag.
This may come to the surprise of many here, as my favorite people on earth are sports writers and sports announcers. But I swear to you it is true. As much as I hate the average lazy-assed beat writer who would sooner kill and consume every single motherfucking member of his family than use the term "OPS" (on-base percentage plus slugging percentage) in a baseball article, the repugnant feelings Joe Buck brings forth in me trumps all.
I don't like Joe Buck because of that smug half-grin he gives the camera before a football game.
I don't like Joe Buck because of how you can't fucking escape him in either baseball or football.
I don't like Joe Buck because of his complete inability to do his fucking job, as that movie file One of the Bruces linked so admirably depicts.
I don't like Joe Buck because of the (backhand to forehead) OHHHHH WELL I NEVER!!!! old lady act he pulled when Randy Moss mimicked the Green Bay fans by *pretending* to moon them. (Something Packer fans do for real to the opposing team outside the stadium, which is a fine tradition.)
But let me tell you the major reason why I personally don't like Joe Buck.
I have subscribed to a horrible, repugnant product called "MLB.TV" for two years. This wretched, miserable fucking cash-grab has allowed me to horribly and poorly watch Toronto Blue Jay games in the comfort of my own home at a resolution that is honestly demonstrably less than that of a Lite Brite thrown into the feeding trough of a cete of hungry badgers. For two straight years they attempted to steal my money well into the off-season. I hate, with the passion of Chr -- I wish the Passion of Christ Himself onto all those associated with producing MLB.TV.
MLB.TV has a horrible logon screen that has two or three pixels allotted to it for clicking, so you can actually get to the fucking lineup of games. Because every single lone-purpose website in the world has to have delusions of being a "portal," the god damn fucking game list isn't on the front page of the site.
What is, you might ask? I'll tell you what's on the fucking login page of MLB.TV.
"Palmeiro, over the head of Jenks....Uribe, charges, throws.... out. And the White Sox have won the World Series."
They played Flash animation of that goddamn call EVERY TIME YOU WANTED TO WATCH A GAME. I hated Joe Buck's call then, I hate it now, I hate it even more today. FUCK HIM. Fuck him and his FUCKING SUB-LEVEL, DIABETES-INDUCING CALL.
Do you know how funny I found him calling Joe Carter's home run in that movie? Very! I found it very funny! Thank GOD almighty he wasn't allowed to sniff the general area of that game. Life's too fucking short. I feel horrible for any White Sox fan (note: no, I don't) who gets to listen to that sad sac sack of crap call the only championship they'll ever witness in their lives.
So fuck Joe Buck.
I absolutely cannot stand that smug douche bag.
This may come to the surprise of many here, as my favorite people on earth are sports writers and sports announcers. But I swear to you it is true. As much as I hate the average lazy-assed beat writer who would sooner kill and consume every single motherfucking member of his family than use the term "OPS" (on-base percentage plus slugging percentage) in a baseball article, the repugnant feelings Joe Buck brings forth in me trumps all.
I don't like Joe Buck because of that smug half-grin he gives the camera before a football game.
I don't like Joe Buck because of how you can't fucking escape him in either baseball or football.
I don't like Joe Buck because of his complete inability to do his fucking job, as that movie file One of the Bruces linked so admirably depicts.
I don't like Joe Buck because of the (backhand to forehead) OHHHHH WELL I NEVER!!!! old lady act he pulled when Randy Moss mimicked the Green Bay fans by *pretending* to moon them. (Something Packer fans do for real to the opposing team outside the stadium, which is a fine tradition.)
But let me tell you the major reason why I personally don't like Joe Buck.
I have subscribed to a horrible, repugnant product called "MLB.TV" for two years. This wretched, miserable fucking cash-grab has allowed me to horribly and poorly watch Toronto Blue Jay games in the comfort of my own home at a resolution that is honestly demonstrably less than that of a Lite Brite thrown into the feeding trough of a cete of hungry badgers. For two straight years they attempted to steal my money well into the off-season. I hate, with the passion of Chr -- I wish the Passion of Christ Himself onto all those associated with producing MLB.TV.
MLB.TV has a horrible logon screen that has two or three pixels allotted to it for clicking, so you can actually get to the fucking lineup of games. Because every single lone-purpose website in the world has to have delusions of being a "portal," the god damn fucking game list isn't on the front page of the site.
What is, you might ask? I'll tell you what's on the fucking login page of MLB.TV.
"Palmeiro, over the head of Jenks....Uribe, charges, throws.... out. And the White Sox have won the World Series."
They played Flash animation of that goddamn call EVERY TIME YOU WANTED TO WATCH A GAME. I hated Joe Buck's call then, I hate it now, I hate it even more today. FUCK HIM. Fuck him and his FUCKING SUB-LEVEL, DIABETES-INDUCING CALL.
Do you know how funny I found him calling Joe Carter's home run in that movie? Very! I found it very funny! Thank GOD almighty he wasn't allowed to sniff the general area of that game. Life's too fucking short. I feel horrible for any White Sox fan (note: no, I don't) who gets to listen to that sad sac sack of crap call the only championship they'll ever witness in their lives.
So fuck Joe Buck.