Many years ago, I did the following for a non-JC-forum thread that had a theme of, "What if movie posters were more pandering" or something. I don't remember. Anyway, here you go:

455 Glide St.


Bring a towel, Mine are in the wash.



THE
BLUFFING
AARDVARK

You telling me how to run my family?

I'm going to find where you live, and I'm going to come into your home and I'm going to pee all over your face.

You are rather uptight for a Friday afternoon. I suggest two cold drinks at fifteen minute intervals.

Actually, I have not seen ANY of the aforementioned movies and therefore have no real content to add to this thread. But as they say in burbank, California; Any content is better than no content.


THE
WHAT IT IZ
AARDVARK

See, this is the fucking problem with this place. I start some interesting shit about movies or fat ignorant sports fans or guys with giant heads, and one or more of you douchenozzles comes on and ruins it with your "clever" retorts.

THE KIDS ARE PLAYING THEIR TAILS OFF, AND THE COACHES ARE SCREWING IT UP!!!

And not once did see a mention for "Ethel the AArdvark Goes Quantity Surveying"

Surely no movie list would be complete without that hidden gem.





THE
POWNED
AARDVARK

hygraed wrote:The only movie I saw in 2007 that I would put on a list like this is Juno.

I seen Juno. I thought Ellen Page was magnificent, and it was definitely the best movie ever written by a stripper that I've ever seen, but other than that, didn't you find it just, you know, "nice"?

I had heard all this effusive praise, and while it was certainly a fun enough little movie, gosh, it sure wasn't something that made me think "wow, that was really something". It wasn't something. It was just a quirky little comedy with an excellent young actress at the fore.

It was no Little Miss Sunshine, I'll tell you that.

I didn't notice any "magic."

hygraed, how would you describe the "magic" of The only movie I saw in 2007?

The only movie I saw in 2007 that I would put on a list like this is Juno.

Movie Pinner wrote:And you feel qualified to state this based on seeing none of them? If all 2007 gave us was There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, it is still one of the best years in American cinema's history. Those two are destined to live forever on many people's all-time lists.

Get real.

Yeah, I bet those two movies were awesome. Fargo II and Magnoia: The Reckoning. WHEEEE!

Anyway, congrats again, you were right. I would need to see those two movies before saying what I said. And because you enjoyed them so much, I WILL see them. You are having a positive, tangible effect on two people and however many dozen cats are in front of the TV when those two films go on.

I hope this brings you grimfaced joy.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: 2007 was a pretty bad year for movies.

And you feel qualified to state this based on seeing none of them? If all 2007 gave us was There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, it is still one of the best years in American cinema's history. Those two are destined to live forever on many people's all-time lists.

Get real.

I think that was also my objection with the movie. Did they give us enough reason to care about Jake Gyllenhall's character? Barely. Hardly.

I don't think it's a failing of movies, necessarily, but I see a lot of movies just assume I should give a shit about the characters because hey... they are in a movie. It's like when George Costanza was asked why people would watch the TV show he was developing with Jerry. "...Because it's on... TV?" he said. Same thing.

More interesting would be crime fiction, I think, where they are inspired by Zodiac. But I guess they did that in the Clint Eastwood movie Scorpio.

And the movie purports that they did have a really good suspect by having that one guy ID whatshisnuts at the airport at the end.

2007 was a pretty bad year for movies. You know what, I didn't love Zodiac, but even as flawed as it was, it probably WAS one of the top five movies of 2007. Take a look at my list - if it had been the top ten movies of 2007 instead of 5, I'd have had to include the Maltest Falcon, Star Wars and Godfather Part II to prop up 2007.

Eat balls, 2007! And I hear 2008 and 2009 will be even worse because of the writer's strike thing.

Movie Pinner wrote:And co, I know that motherfucker, that's my fucking point, idiot.

What a waste of time that movie would have been. The interesting part of the story is the killer and the clues he gave and shit. Who cares about the lives of the stupid cops who couldn't catch the guy or the newspaper hacks who printed shit he sent them.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Well, I also really enjoyed The Departed. So can you add--

DEATH!

And co, I know that motherfucker, that's my fucking point, idiot.

Movie Pinner wrote:MOVIE: Zodiac
WHY: Fincher's "Fight Club" is in my top three all time, but "Zodiac" is his most "mature" film. Spot-on performances and ridiculously well-made, enough so that you actually enjoy watching a movie that 1) is like ten hours long, and 2) you never actually find out what happened. That is a brilliant trick.

Don't you watch city confidential? They never caught the guy, you're expected to already know that.

Movie Pinner wrote:

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I didn't see a single one of the movies on Ben's list except Zodiac, which I did not like for some reason towards the end that I can't remember.

Three of the goddamn five movies you listed for 2007 were released in 2006. And your opinion of Zodiac sucks. Therefore you are DISQUALIFIED.

POWNED!!!

Well, I also really enjoyed The Departed. So can you add that to the 2007 list?

savvyraven wrote:I would like to add "3:10 to Yuma" to this list. Just because I know it was his 6th favorite and wanted to see it represented. Besides, it's Christian Bale! He deserves to be on any friggin' list.

3:10 to Yuma is better than Sunshine, unless you happen to be me, so it does get an Honorable Mention.

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I didn't see a single one of the movies on Ben's list except Zodiac, which I did not like for some reason towards the end that I can't remember.

Three of the goddamn five movies you listed for 2007 were released in 2006. And your opinion of Zodiac sucks. Therefore you are DISQUALIFIED.

POWNED!!!

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:5. Planet Terror. When you include the "Machete" part, this was a lot of fun and was totally entertaining.
1. Brick. Film noir transplanted to a different time period is a fucking awesome idea. Holy shit this was great.

You should let movies I choose get to the top of the queue more often. Brick was in there for about 11 months.