It's all about Depp with eyeliner. He could be in 'Herbie goes to Hoboken' and as long as someone puts eyeliner on him it'll be a hit.



THE
PLUMB THE
DEPP
AARDVARK

I found myself thinking that if I were watching it on digital cable, I would have fast forwarded through parts of it. Most of those parts were action sequences, funnily enough.

Johnny Depp is still good, but I agree with the gripes mentioned above. After a while, I was thinking that I can't believe they pay people to write this stuff.

Good. I'm thinking drive-in and beer.



THE
OR VIDEO
AARDVARK

I'm of two minds:

Seeing this a week after Superman Returns I'm wondering if there's some editor's strike going on in Hollywood I'm not aware of. This has to be the most bloated movie I've ever seen. 2 1/2 hours and they couldn't even be arsed to resolve one of their 15 or so barely related plotlines, as they were apparently too busy providing welfare checks to literally every actor who had a speaking role in the 1st movie. Were there people out there dying to see characters like "Bland Pirate Hunter Fiance", "Kiera Knightley's Dad" or "Fat Pirate" return to the silver screen? They even brought back the fucking monkey.

On the other hand, holy shit was that the most ridiculously fun movie I've encountered in a long time. The swashbuckling scenes are fun, the evil Cthullu pirates are gross but fun, Johnny Depp mincing and prancing is fun, Kiera Knightly is hot and also fun, the hilariously racist cannibals are a hoot, I even enjoyed the fucking monkey.

The 1st half hour or so and any scene involving the "East India Company" plotline is unneccessary and forgettable, but it would have taken the execution of at least 20 adorable kittens to get me to stop smiling at the rest of this movie.