Morgan Pressel v Michelle Wie

by **AArdvark** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:23 am

Wait, jackass, after the post where your friend turned 40, you posted drunkenly with the chocolate martini feast insinuating that YOU turned 40 at that time. Way to go, douche.

Please review..

K. two weeks later to me being forty.

Drink of the weekend: The chocolate martini.

I really really hate to admit this but I'm downing them in fucking DISNEY martini glasses. Present from relative visiting Fla. in last summer. might post pix of drinking vessels if I can find them. whish I could smash them in fireplace like at that Spider Robinson bar.

What I meant was that I'm two weeks CLOSER to becoming the big 4-0 AND that the post was two weeks after I went to the friends big 4-0 party. Anyway, enough of that. I will not dissimate my age anymore until I get there.

THE
AGE
LIKE A FINE CHEESE
AARDVARK

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:11 am

If I were wealthy, I'd arrange things like Ben being in a golfing foursome with these two pieces of jailbait and Tiger Woods.

Or that, you know, they're NINETEEN.

Time machine! Wealth buys time machine!

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:52 pm

I got no problem with Vark (you know, other than the obvious.)

I just thought his post was horrible. It's like someone's trying to start a discussion on favorite cheeses, and someone chimes in about all the starving children who would give anything for even a small slice of Kraft American.

Just a bad post. Nobody's perfect. He's a good guy.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:55 pm

I want Aardvark to be the official co-sysop of Jolt Country, but not if you and he are at loggerheads, Ben.

by **Vitriola** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:54 pm

AArdvark wrote:The fact that neither one of them can walk into Moe's Tavern and order up a Duff draft means that they have had to grow up practically on the greens.

Or that, you know, they're NINETEEN.

by **Vitriola** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:53 pm

AArdvark wrote:First off.. not 40 quite yet. 'nother 3 months.

Wait, jackass, after the post where your friend turned 40, you posted drunkenly with the chocolate martini feast insinuating that YOU turned 40 at that time. Way to go, douche.

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:08 pm

That's great, Aard! I wondered when we, as a group, were going to get back to talking about what we DON'T want to talk about.

by **AArdvark** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:06 pm

Actually, I'd rather hear about ametuer and semi-pro sports where the players are not millionaires. These are the players that one DOES NOT see on the evil television box.

THE
MONEY GAP
AARDVARK

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:26 pm

Okay, so when Jonsey starts blathering about some goddamn baseball player, I'll just chime in with how stupid and boring baseball is. That'll make this board the place it always wanted to be.

by **AArdvark** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:13 pm

First off.. not 40 quite yet. 'nother 3 months.

Secondly, I was on topic. I was talking about the 2 rich kid golfers. Not comparing and contrasting them, just making the observation that it takes shitloads of practice to get good at golf and the only way to do that is by being on the courses swinging clubs. The fact that neither one of them can walk into Moe's Tavern and order up a Duff draft means that they have had to grow up practically on the greens. This is all well understood, I know, but that means they are a breed apart from the rest of us slobs. Therefore, they do not hold my respect or interest for any length of time.
the only thing Tiger did that was of any real 'wow' was the commercial where he bounced the golf ball on the 9-iron for about 30 seconds and then blasted it downfield. other than that...ho-hum.

'Golf is a nice walk spoiled by a little white ball.'---

THE
NOT IN THE GAME
AARDVARK

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:37 am

Oh, the "metal" sign.

I think she throws up the horns every week... with her golfing talent.

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:30 am

I don't know what "thrown up the horns" means.

by **Vitriola** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:17 am

Has Morgan Pressel ever given thrown up the horns? If she's thrown up the horns, she has my vote.

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:26 am

Anyone feel like sticking to the topic? No? So we're just gonna blather our two-bit editorials on everything now?

BAD post, Aard. Let's hope your 40s begin with a little more skill than your 30s ended.

by **AArdvark** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:20 am

These kids...growing up on a golf course. Must be rich parents to let the kids grow up on golf courses. 'Specially Hawiian golf courses. Kow what it costs to live in Hawaii? More money than I can print in my basement. bet they never worked in a mail room or at McD's. Hmmmph!

THE
RICH KIDS
AARDVARK

by **pinback** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:20 am

I have to say, Tiger-Woods-humiliating-everyone-else-in-golf-for-the-next-ten-years aside, this is my favorite story in sports these days:

Michelle Wie, 8-foot tall, 16-year-old, vapid-faced Hawaiian, garnering all of the press, saying nothing of interest to anybody, and basically just standing there with that little rabbit-puss of hers, staring silently into the camera.

Morgan Pressel, a pissed off little 17-year-old spitfire who hates 1) Michelle Wie, 2) everything else in life, and wishes only to a) kill Wie, and b) rip your own personal guts out by the colon.

And they're both equally good.

I swear, there is nothing cooler than this. You have to take sides, though. If they were ten years older, I would side with Wie, who has enough class not to bitch and moan and cry and scream and throw clubs everywhere and try to have you assassinated.

But since they're still teenagers, I will side with Morgan Pressel, because she bitches and moans and cries and screams and throws clubs everywhere and has personally tried to have Jonsey and Jack Straw assassinated.

LPGA Fever.... CATCH IT!!

Morgan Pressel v Michelle Wie

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