you make me sad, clown.

PART II

So just as the NHL was becoming tremendously popular among geeks and fat white people they got some great ideas. I equate it to this.

The Government accidentally gives you $1000. What do you do? You give it the fuck back ASAP and they will probably charge you interest on it.

The NHL was acidentally deemed popular. So what did they do? They expanded to bunch of shitty cities at the expense of their entire liberal fan base (Canada) They gayed up the team names and jerseys and started paying the players billions of dollars. What they forgot--

1. Their are the equivelent of WNBA and Arena Football in turns of being a "major sport"
2. The game is utterly unwatchable unless you are playing and then it becomes a game of fopping and grunting,midly entertaining
3. People that live in warm clients don't support anything but Skin Cancer and Oranges for the rest of the country.

The sport fell flat on it's face, it was faced by numerous allegations of NHLers being molested in juniors,every player was a greedy drunken idiot and a players union fullof mulleted half-wits who thought they be should make more then $10 million a year.

That all worked well and the league went belly-up. Now it's back after having to admit nobody gives a fuck about it and the players realizing nobody wants to watch them unless they cut their pay by 50% and change every rule in the sport.

So pale grease bags in your dumpy Yzerman uni's rejoice! You can once again idiolize your non-athlete counterparts and particapate in your 3 stat fantasy leagues!

Hockey fucking sucks. I gave hockey a try about 12 years ago, I picked a team attempted, to root for it. The games are boring, the players are the most vile, distuging beings I've ever witnessed.. and the fan base isn't much better.

You're average hockey fans are 25-34 year-old fat baliding white guys, which is cool since the players they are rooting for are 25-34 year-old fat baliding white guys.

The root of my hatred for Hockey can be traced back to high school. Any decent hockey player is ripped out of their home and sent to Canada to play on special Canadian Youth teams and live with host familes.
So like three people from our school went to Canada and they returned lets just say-different. It starts with "Host Family" being code for Legal Sexual Abuse. All these guys were giant homos when they returned. They all were alcoholics by 15 and none of them had any teeth left either. And when you saw them in school they were the type of guys who were always excited to see you, but you were always remembering some important thing you had to leave and go do the second they opened their pucked dented mouths.

So besides becoming toothless homos (which will serve them well as male prostitutes later in life) they also get no education and are basically worhtless creeps.

LUNCH BREAK IS OVER PART II OF WHY I HATE HOCKEY TO FOLLOW AT 2PM!!!!