That BBW I Dated That Once In Boulder

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Expand view Topic review: That BBW I Dated That Once In Boulder

by Lysander » Fri May 20, 2005 4:26 pm

Now where the hell did I put that form forum (git it?) patition...?

by chris » Fri May 20, 2005 4:24 pm

pinback wrote:Sure thing, Chief Ruins The Thread. HOW! Me want visit your HEAP-um BIG GAMBLING CASINO! Try many fine FIRE WATERS and INEXPENSIVE TOBACCO PRODUCTS!
Holy Christ, I don't fucking believe this. Pinback said something that made me laugh.

You DO need help, but I don't think a shrink is needed here. I humbly suggest you get busy with somebody other than ROSEY PALM (no pun intended, HAR HAR HAR) to return to the PEAK of HEALTH. So bust out a sawbuck, head into downtown DC, and GET TO WORK!

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 2:35 pm

I have to apologize to you fine folks out there, who really ARE missing the best part of this thread, which is taking place in email, and which Robb refuses to post on this BBS for some reason I cannot fathom.

C'mon, Robb! Post the emails!

Hey there folks? YOU'D like to see the emails, wouldn't you? Come on! Let him know! We're here! We're queer! We want to see the emails!

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 2:26 pm

Sure thing, Chief Ruins The Thread. HOW! Me want visit your HEAP-um BIG GAMBLING CASINO! Try many fine FIRE WATERS and INEXPENSIVE TOBACCO PRODUCTS!

Goddamn gooks got no sense of humor.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 2:12 pm

:: hateful, racist term

For the LAST GODDAMN TIME. I am WHITE. My parents' families originated from the Pennsylvania Dutch and Scots. I SUNBURN EASILY. I am not at risk for SICKLE CELL ANEMIA. I can GET A FIVE FIGURE LOAN FROM A BANK AT .2 OVER PRIME. I CANNOT DANCE. I have an AVERAGE GRASP OF MATHEMATICS. I READ AMERICAN COMIC BOOKS. My girlfriends' parents are all HAPPY TO SEE THAT I WAS BROUGHT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. A picture of ME FIGHTING A YETI AND MASTER SHAKE inside ELTON JOHN'S NIKITA VIDEO while wearing an AWAY NEW ORLEANS SAINTS JERSEY would be ACCURATELY DEPICTED by an ALL WHITE POST CARD except for of course the sheer amount of blood I'd DRAW FROM THE YETI WHO KNOWS WHAT COLOR THAT IS.

Man, seriously Pinner, fuck your shit.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 1:46 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:So there you go. I would still like to see you get some professional help.
Jesus, get in line, sweetheart!

I'm still just trying to figure out how you magically turned from a fun-loving, effervescent spic into a hypersensitive cry-beast overnight. Can you explain that to me?

THEN I'll go get the help I so desperately need.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 1:41 pm

pinback wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I am requesting this out of respect for our previous associations.
Wait, does this mean you're not going to update Creeping Maw Dot Com anymore? Cuz if so, I WANT MY $3.99 DOMAIN REGISTRATION FEE BACK, JEWBOY!!!
I am a professional. In fact, write this shit down. I will perform the following IN ORDER:

1) Complete "The Creeping Maw" for your Vectrex Home Entertainment System. Anticipated: Fall, 2005. That gives me till like 12/25/05, right? When does winter start?

2) 24 hours after finishing CM I will put the contents of your old website into a Hugo file so people on their Palms can read along and more importantly finally get you to shut the hell up about it.

So there you go. I would still like to see you get some professional help.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 1:27 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I am requesting this out of respect for our previous associations.
Wait, does this mean you're not going to update Creeping Maw Dot Com anymore? Cuz if so, I WANT MY $3.99 DOMAIN REGISTRATION FEE BACK, JEWBOY!!!

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 12:24 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Good day.
Good day? You're GOOD DAYING me?

"On the internet? THIS internet?" - ICJ

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 12:18 pm

As I said in e-mail, I would like you to seek a psychologist and set up regular meetings with him. I hope that you do that.

I am requesting this out of respect for our previous associations.

Good day.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 11:58 am

Seriously, now. Who ends a years-old friendship because of some goddamn stupid thread on a fucking INTARNET BULLITIN BOARD SYSTME????

I can only think that I've just woken up from a dream, and we're all still NINE YEARS OLD, which is good because:

1. Then Jonsey's behavior makes some sense.
and
2. It means I get another shot at not completely screwing up and/or wasting the last 25 years.

Oh, happy, happy day!!

(On the downside, now I have to wait 12 more years before I can legally purchase alcohol again!! OLOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!!!)

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 11:03 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:No one you have ever met has ever truly liked you.
I was with you until this part. This, though, seems a bit presumptuous.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 10:58 am

You would have been in tears by sundown. And then I'm going to have to talk you off the bridge like I've done a million times before because you're fundamentally broken and at best only tolerated by the people around you and/or viewed as an emergency ATM when things go bad. Your parents split up not because they had irreconcilable differences but because neither one of them could face the other knowing that they brought a socially broken monster / would-be serial killer like yourself into the world and eversince you have done nothing but prove them right.

Only this time I am not going to talk you down so you'll of course plunge deep into your alcoholism, which you laughably tried to combat once and failed at it, like you have failed at everything you have ever attempted, not that it stopped you from getting little gifts at how sober you managed to stay, you pantomime of humanity.

As you smash the bottle of rum you just downed like it was grape kool-aid against the scratched-to-shit, substandard furniture your complete lack of style and taste made you buy and stab at yourself to get the stink out, I hope your worthless life flashes briefly before your (hollow, sunken, Paul Giamatti-inspired) eyes and you come face-to-snout with all the co-dependent tublies you utterly failed to satisfy, their sped kids and all your so-called "friends" who will be more relieved that they don't have to interact with you any longer and quickly cobble together excuses to miss your funeral, presuming you have one, which you probably won't because nobody will care enough to give you anything other than a shovelful of dirt onto your grotesque, only semi-human, plastic-surgeried shell.

No one you have ever met has ever truly liked you. I wish you better luck in your unliving, you miserable mate between wretch and ghoul.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 10:47 am

Oh dear, indeed. Well, this is not how I wanted this to go at all.

I good-naturedly tried to fire some new life and excitement into the BBS, and 24 hours later, it has ended up with Jonsey exclaiming to me privately that he will never communicate willingly with me again, and goodbye forever.

This thread was so close to becoming Best Of material, too.

WHY JONSEY?!? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING GOOD????

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 9:29 am

Oh dear, my end of lines were all fucked up there. Anyway, I am editing my post for that and not for any content.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 9:17 am

Though I can certainly understand you not having the time to do research on your pathetic attempts at turning people's dead relatives into humor. I'm suprised you even had time even to post anything, in between firing off emails to me, weepily grovelling and apologizing for whatever it is you did which you think pissed me off.

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 9:11 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What a coward. What an equally old woman (and not just on the net, I mean). I bet he dove under his couch every time a Heineken commercial came on.
Heineken is Dutch, not German, you idiot.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri May 20, 2005 8:59 am

JC Denizen wrote:I am not as you described
I know, please excuse my hyperbole.
pinback wrote:No, see, nobody ever asked you for Necrotic Drift. You never offered to write ND for anyone. I'm sure you could also successfully excrete the three gallons of week-old macaroni and cheese which you shovelled into your seeping maw with your Pepperidge Farms Summer Sausage fingers last night too, but you never promised to do it for anyone. Of course, if you charged a few bucks for it, you might actually be able to turn a profit on this one.
Please, tell us all about "profit" in your mealy-mouthed, half-assed, roundabout way which is perfectly in line with your personality and upbringing, seeing how your old man was so ashamed of your Zionist World Bank background that he changed your precious family name of "Jewenstein" to the dart-on-a-phonebook, unlikeable replacement you're currently not living up to. What a coward. What an equally old woman (and not just on the net, I mean). I bet he dove under his couch every time a Heineken commercial came on. Yes, by all means tell us about "profit" like the nigh dystopian-Earth-inflation amounts of it made by your quack doctors who kept bringing you in to chip away at the twin Jabbas who took up permanent skiff lounging on your chest. Christ, hearing you pour over the financials of that transaction brought more questions than answers but the primary question was "Is that in pesos?"

On the other hand, maybe it was the best thing for you because the obligatory sponge-down before they laughed and cut you up to shit was the first thing you had resembling a shower in years. Maybe when you've frightened off the female population of D.C. like you have every other major metropolitan area you've squatted down into and convinced yourself that it's them not you can do mankind a favor and not work on getting olfactory senses removed from our evolution by splashing around in Niagra Falls for a bit you lazy, sentient gas cloud.

Who trolls a guy because he didn't make any money selling his stupid video game? What's wrong with you?

Re: That BBW I Dated That Once In Boulder

by pinback » Fri May 20, 2005 8:55 am

nessman wrote:That was me who made teh funny.
Really? Cool! Which BBS was that on? Link plz?

Re: That BBW I Dated That Once In Boulder

by nessman » Fri May 20, 2005 8:18 am

Anonymous wrote:
pinback wrote:Does anybody remember what I said her first name was?

Started with a S, I think?

Please help?
Amy Friday?
That was me who made teh funny.

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