Sky Captain and the Something of Something

by **chris** » Mon May 09, 2005 4:02 pm

I finally got around to seeing this movie.

The visuals were cool, and I liked the 1930s style of the film. However, the story sucked massive ass. To think they went to all the trouble of making an almost totally CGI movie and using a script like that makes me weep.

I give it 1.5 out of 4 stars.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:20 am

Code: Select all

STEVE-DAVE
                     &#40;not looking up&#41;
                 Well, well,well, Walt Did you see who 
                 it is!  The local celebrities.  Quick - 
                 get them to autograph one of their 
                 books so we can sell it for triple 
                 it's value.
                           WALT
                 I'm not that in need of fifteen cents 
                 right now.
                 They snicker and high-five one another.  Holden rolls his eyes.
                           BANKY
                 You guys operate the smallest, ladies' 
                 bridge circle I've ever seen.
                           WALT
                 For your information, we're playing 
                 Crimson Mystical Mages - an 
                 overpower card game. Not that either 
                 of you would give a shit about 
                 something as advanced         as this - 
                 there are no dick or poopie jokes 
                 involved.
                           BANKY
                     &#40;to Holden&#41;
                 I don't think they're fans.
                           WALT
                 No, we're not.  You're both a couple 
                 of fucking no talents that got lucky.
                           STEVE-DAVE
                 And obviously your handlers or hangers-
                 on convinced you that your first comic 
                 was good which it was not it was 
                 thoroughly mediocre with a few spiky 
                 bits of dialogue.  And when you get 
                 your foot in the door of the business, 
                 what do you do!  You turn out a piece 
                 of shit like Bluntman and Chronic.
                           WALT
                 Tell him, Steve-Dave.
                           STEVE-DAVE
                     &#40;off comic&#41;
                 Bluntman and Chronic.  Pah.  
                 What was that thing the little stoner 
                 pulled on the villain in the last 
                 issue!
                           WALT
                 The Stinky-palm.
                           STEVE-DAVE
                 Stinky-palm.  You give comics a bad 
                 name I tell all my customers not to 
                 buy it, to spend their money on a real 
                 comic book.
                           WALT
                 Fucking one hit wonder, dime-store 
                 Frank Miller's.
                           STEVE-DAVE
                 This is the reality at Comic-Toast - 
                 you're not going to get your ass 
                 kissed here, because both me and Walt 
                 think you suck.
                           WALT
                 And me.
                           STEVE-DAVE
                 I said that.
                           WILL SMITH
                 Aw, HELL no!

by **pinback** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:55 pm

"Here. Enjoy this lavish feast!" - Babette
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith.

"Look how they massacred my boy." - Don Corleone
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith.

"...Rosebud..." - C. Kane
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith

"I'm laughing at the superior intellect." - Tiberius
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith

"WSH will then look up the specified COM object's CLSID from the HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT hive in the Windows Registry." - Windows 2000 Scripting Resource Kit
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith

by **pinback** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:48 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:There's no way this can be above one star. I refuse to admit it.

That's because you haven't seen Will Smith's cameo.

(Hundreds of flying robot monsters)
"Aw, HELL no." - W. Smith

Classic.

(This message has been edited 4 times.)

by **Lex** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:50 pm

I haven't seen the film, but don't go YAWN at retro airplane shinanigans! Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge (not the vanilla "Crimson Skies" of yesteryear) is the best game on the Xbox for multiplay.

Next to mashed, but that's a multiple-system release.

by **bump chudder** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:59 pm

yeah uhm.. but what about Schindler's List or Taxi Driver?

BUMP!

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:05 pm

I saw this movie a couple months ago. At first, I thought the style of the film distanced me from the characters and plot. As the film progressed, though, bits of dialogue would catch me and I couldn't help think, "Hmmm, that sounded pleasantly odd." Eventually I had the revelation that wow, yeah, something really fun is going on here, and the film's ending nailed down that point.

So, yeah, I liked it.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:40 pm

OK, I spelled Paltrow's name wrong. I'd like to say I care about that and that I respect the person enough to spell their name right after a lifetime of not having the same afforded to me, but I don't.

Zero out of five stars.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:39 pm

Come on... this can't be any good. Nobody cares about retro airplane movies and just because Angelina Jolie is in it, it doesn't mean that you have to actually pretend to like it, you disgusting pervert.

Plus. Plus!! Jude Law AND Gwenthy Paltrow? Matthew McConaughey and Robin Williams were going to be in it until aliens from another world told the director that they'd have to put us out of our misery if any cast got to be that annoying. Hell they were debating on Kraktos as to whether or not to get involved with human politicks with Paltrow and Law.

There's no way this can be above one star. I refuse to admit it. I could see it and if I liked it I'd lie. Fuck you and fuck this review.

by **pinback** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:46 am

Extremely excellent and fun. Escapist entertainment at its purest and most enjoyable. A bit of confusing editing toward the end, as well as Jude Law being the wrong choice for the Captain are the only blemishes in a rollicking joyride of a good time! Every action cliche of all time included, but it's done with such a sense of glee and awesomeness that you're almost happy to see it.

***1/2 (three and a half ***1/2s.)

Sky Captain and the Something of Something

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