The Sports world recoiled in joy today after receiving the news that Jeff Garcia got arrested for DUI, with the glorious potential for lots of television and radio interviews allowing the slobbering public to listen to him [i]lisp[/i] and [i]flame[/i] his way through this very troubling, and also hilarious and most certainly GAY occurrence.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Jeff's family, teammates, and [i]life partner(s)[/i].