Three items.

by **Jack Straw** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 4:45 pm

Should work on speling first.

by **Guest** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 4:32 pm

Danzaland Slacker wrote:
ChainGangGuy wrote: Give me six pounds of TNT.

A foot of wire.

And a pressure switch under my back, so that when I decay to the point where my bones wither away, and the switch goes off, the mini-mall they eventually build on top of me goes up in flames.
Best yet!

I agree. I will, therefore, begin plajurizing you at every opportunity.

by **Danzaland Slacker** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 8:40 am

ChainGangGuy wrote: Give me six pounds of TNT.

A foot of wire.

And a pressure switch under my back, so that when I decay to the point where my bones wither away, and the switch goes off, the mini-mall they eventually build on top of me goes up in flames.

Best yet!

by **ChainGangGuy** » Fri Aug 22, 2003 7:04 am

1. An oxygen tank, there won't be a whole lot of air down there, and just in case I were not dead, I'll have it.

2. A cell phone, again in the case that I am buried by mistake, I want a way to call and tell the Jonsey (or at least the Comedy of Savings) to come dig me the fuck up.

3. An alarm clock, set to wake me up five hours after I'm buried, just so I don't sleep until the lithium battery dies on the fucking cell phone, and even if I am dead, people will hear that alarm for a really long time, and say what you will about leaving an impression on someone so as to have them remember you, they'll remember me real well when they show my exhumed corpse on the five o'clock news, just because some elderly lady called the cops when she heard the Moody Blues six feet under her feet.

I guess that's not what you expected...seeing as how I'm supposed to let go of life, and realize death is inevitable, but I really think if I had to choose three things to sum up my life, they'd be boring, and wouldn't make sense to anyone but me. It's better to work through a scenario where three items together can work out to some device.

Give me six pounds of TNT.

A foot of wire.

And a pressure switch under my back, so that when I decay to the point where my bones wither away, and the switch goes off, the mini-mall they eventually build on top of me goes up in flames.

by **Vitriola** » Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:27 am

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE WON A FREE PLAY!

Valid any day except Monday thru Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 9:31 pm

Hi.

Quoting this thing for another play.

by **Worm** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 7:51 pm

Well, I always have this thing in the back of my head of being buried alive. So the bandages would make it so I could fake mummification I might get mummified and buried so I would need them prior. The necklace simply because it is something I'd like to have right now. Oh and the dirt? I don't know ... it feels silly to put me underground but keep me away from dirt.

by **Violet** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 6:57 pm

I guess I want to be buried with

1) A copy of Amelie - God I love that movie.

2) My mp3 player - I don't like to go to sleep without some music playing. If I can't hear music or something comforting it makes me feel unsettled. I'd like to have some sweet sounds while I lay dead.

3) A DDR pad. I will be steppin' to it in the after life.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 3:04 pm

Vitriola wrote:Geez, Robb, i thought you'd know me better than that. I'm going to Hell with 2 guys and a chick:

If that beastie is currently scuttling about on the earth in a position of authority, well... it looks to me like we're already in HELL already.

by **Roody_Yogurt** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:35 pm

Hmm, a hawaiin shirt, nose glasses, and an ornamental kazoo.

by **Vitriola** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:00 pm

Geez, Robb, i thought you'd know me better than that. I'm going to Hell with 2 guys and a chick:

by **bruce** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:54 am

All right, Jonsey. Here's the Emo Bruce with what he needs for the afterlife (the wedding band, by the way, goes with the body, because I'm expecting I'll be, you know, dressed in the coffin, and dressed I would assume includes personal jewelry. No one's taking my nipple rings off either, I don't think):

An Atari 2600 with Cuttle Cart, CD of all known games, and a portable CD player (and yes, this is all one item. Fuck you. If it isn't, then an Atari 7800 with the new Cuttle and a CF card loaded up with all known games. And controllers.)

<i>Gravity's Rainbow</i>.

Tom Waits, <i>Small Change</i>.

Bruce the Barbarian Dork

by **danzaland** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:32 am

Fine....
1) My Gold and Silver stash. Cuz if the Globalists don't get it you won't either.
2) The incomplete illegible selfreflective manuscript that I have dabbled with for sometime.
3) The wedding band from my upcoming nuputials.

Good enough for ye?

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:08 am

Also, what the hell, Ben? You're giving people shit for not wanting to be cremated?

I'll tell you what I want. Well, at my actual funeral it would be nice if there were an attractive woman around my age crying. I'm talking about if this happens in the next couple of years, by that. Aside from that, I hope everyone gets over their sadness and gets a chance to remember some of the more amusing things I've tried to do down here at Terra Firma. That will console me as I am burning in HELL.

But anyway. The name on the tombstone. Yes. I would go just with "SHERWIN," as, let's face it, I'm gonna be the most important guy on the planet who ever had that last name for at least the next few thousand years. But if my first name is placed there, for God's sake, someone make sure it says "ROBB." If you rubes fuck up the capitalization on purpose, that IS enough to turn me into the spirit of vengeance.

Now, do I go with the "HERE LIES" bit before it? That's fine. Or maybe just the name, my two dates, and "HE BROUGHT CONTENT." That should be easy enough to engrave.

I've got full insurance, so direct mom & pop to this thread. They can get the stone and have enough to take that trip to ... well, actually, I have no idea where my parents would like to vacation. Anywhere is fine. I'll have paid for it in life so that they can enjoy it while I burn... in HELL.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:00 am

The fact that you decided to take a Magnolia DVD with you rather than a CD containing tracks like "Motherplucker" and "Fart Hehe" would, for a normal person, say volumes about your self-esteem. But for you, it says something really brief: YOU HAVEN'T ANY.

Dammit, Pinback.

But I guess I'm not surprised. To recap:

Pinback: Of his own creations, only bringing his book with him, in order to impress the chicks impressed by pilots in HELL.

Violet: Whiffed on the question; did not answer.

Bruce: Decided to continue to put up his "front." Bruce, we're trying to be your friend here. You need to open up to us.

Space Marine: Now, here, finally. Something dear and true to his heart.

ICJ: Answered seriously, egotistically

Worm: Some MacGuyver / Indiana Jones thing

Vitriola: Three other dudes so she can finally have that four-way... in HELL.

Danzaland: Whiffed on the question, did not answer. HELL.

Angry Stewart Pay--HELL.

by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:53 am

This dude catches on fast, don't he?

by **danzaland** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:51 am

pinback wrote:Okay. I'm gone. Goodbye forever, all.

YOU LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:42 am

My pilot logbook, my Magnolia DVD, and a bottle of Stoli.

by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:23 am

WHAT ABOUT YOU PINBACK ;P ;P :P ;P LOL

by **danzaland** » Mon Aug 18, 2003 5:11 am

pinback wrote:Okay. I'm gone. Goodbye forever, all.

I take this with me. Knowing Pinback will never post here again.

Three items.

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On the subject of dying.

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