by Flack » Mon Jun 22, 2020 12:13 pm
Having seen Artemis Fowl, I wasn't surprised to learn that it currently has a 10% approval rating on Rottem Tomatoes. If I was surprised by anything, it was that 10% of people who watched this film actually liked it.
VERY loosely based on the book series, Artemis Fowl (Jr.) is the world's smartest twelve-year-old, who happens to be the son of the world's most active collector of stolen artifacts. When dad (Artemis Fowl, Sr.) goes missing, it is up to junior to crack the case. Dad, it turns out, stole the "Aculos" (the most McGuffiny of McGuffins) from the fairy realm and has been kidnapped by a mysterious figure in an attempt to recover it. Before long, Fowl, along with his father's butler (whose last name is "Butler") have kidnapped a fairy and teamed up with a dwarf to take on the fairy army and a bunch of other CGI creatures.
I didn't care for one moment whether anyone in this film lived or died (I actually found myself rooting against them a few times). For being the world's smartest kid, young Artemis doesn't figure much out on his own. The only character who comes close to sacrificing anything does so in a room with a fairy with magical healing abilities, so I wouldn't start digging a burial plot just yet.
The second act of the film ends with the main characters giving each other high fives for fifteen minutes and shouting "we did it!" Just as I was ready for the third act to begin -- the one where the good guys take on the exposed spy and then the bad guy who kidnapped Artemis, Sr. -- the end credits began to roll. What?? I've heard of ending a film on a cliffhanger before, but typically you wrap up the first plot before launching into a bigger arc. This movie literally plays like two third through a two hour movie, Disney execs came along and said "this film too long byyyyyyyeeeeeeeee snip." With a 10% approval rating and (no doubt) facing a financial flop, I have to wonder if we'll get a second film, which would be nice so that we could learn how the first one was supposed to end.
If you have kids or grandkids in the single-digit age range that are too young for Harry Potter, this movie has some whiz-bang special effects and I'm sure they'll love all the fairies, trolls, centaurs, and other magical creatures. Anyone in their teens or older is going to have some serious questions about this film's plot.
Having seen Artemis Fowl, I wasn't surprised to learn that it currently has a 10% approval rating on Rottem Tomatoes. If I was surprised by anything, it was that 10% of people who watched this film actually liked it.
VERY loosely based on the book series, Artemis Fowl (Jr.) is the world's smartest twelve-year-old, who happens to be the son of the world's most active collector of stolen artifacts. When dad (Artemis Fowl, Sr.) goes missing, it is up to junior to crack the case. Dad, it turns out, stole the "Aculos" (the most McGuffiny of McGuffins) from the fairy realm and has been kidnapped by a mysterious figure in an attempt to recover it. Before long, Fowl, along with his father's butler (whose last name is "Butler") have kidnapped a fairy and teamed up with a dwarf to take on the fairy army and a bunch of other CGI creatures.
I didn't care for one moment whether anyone in this film lived or died (I actually found myself rooting against them a few times). For being the world's smartest kid, young Artemis doesn't figure much out on his own. The only character who comes close to sacrificing anything does so in a room with a fairy with magical healing abilities, so I wouldn't start digging a burial plot just yet.
The second act of the film ends with the main characters giving each other high fives for fifteen minutes and shouting "we did it!" Just as I was ready for the third act to begin -- the one where the good guys take on the exposed spy and then the bad guy who kidnapped Artemis, Sr. -- the end credits began to roll. What?? I've heard of ending a film on a cliffhanger before, but typically you wrap up the first plot before launching into a bigger arc. This movie literally plays like two third through a two hour movie, Disney execs came along and said "this film too long byyyyyyyeeeeeeeee snip." With a 10% approval rating and (no doubt) facing a financial flop, I have to wonder if we'll get a second film, which would be nice so that we could learn how the first one was supposed to end.
If you have kids or grandkids in the single-digit age range that are too young for Harry Potter, this movie has some whiz-bang special effects and I'm sure they'll love all the fairies, trolls, centaurs, and other magical creatures. Anyone in their teens or older is going to have some serious questions about this film's plot.