[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]
How about instead you bring the comedy and offer up a scathing and biting retort?
[/quote]

Because it's not worth retorting to. If you're just going to come on here and be [i]nasty[/i] for no reason at all, why would I waste my time continuing a dialogue?

[quote="pinback"]Okay, how 'bout this: Can I ban fucking ASSHOLE accounts in this base?[/quote]

How about instead you bring the comedy and offer up a scathing and biting retort?

Kids these days. It's always ban, ban, ban, ban, ba[i][b]BANNED![/i][/b]

Jethro Q. Walrustitty, everyone! Isn't he marvelous!

[quote="pinback"]Okay, how 'bout this: Can I ban fucking ASSHOLE accounts in this base?[/quote]
If you do that, you won't be able to get back in...

Bitch.

Okay, how 'bout this: Can I ban fucking ASSHOLE accounts in this base?

Jonsey, can I ban guest accounts in this base?

Moving and painful?

Ah.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, the dude's not happy unless he can break out his crying towel, and weep like a little bitch with a skinned knee whenever the movie tells him he should. The guy would probably flood the theater if he saw Patch Adams, and breaks into hitching sobs when he sees the cancer kids with red clown noses defending the idiotic doctor.

Anyways, better save up your Kleenex money for the upcoming Alien Quadrilogy box set, which'll have nine DVDs, including a nearly 3-hour cut of Alien3, and alternative beginning and endings for AR.

Some [i]really[/i] alternate footage for AR would be some that doesn't, well, [i]suck ass juice through a crazy straw.[/i]

Of course, glancing at the movies in the link that Jonsey posted indicates that Pinback is, how shall we put this... not a very [i]adventurous[/i] moviewatcher. Virtually all big budget action movies... Yeah, I guess if your steady diet of moviefare includes Air Force One, Con Air, Face/Off, and Mimic, you might get choked up in AR. But for God's sake, don't admit it.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]then the thing would truly be a no-star flick instead of the grudging two stars that even people who hated it have to give it.[/quote]

And what about the last 20 minutes? Am I the only one who thought that it was a terribly moving, painful, and INTERESTING sequence of film? A little whacked-out, sure, but we like that over here.

We have an interesting, entertaining spin on Ripley's resurrection, and 20 minutes of pretty damn cool movie at the end, and people are saying that this was [i]worse[/i] than Alien 3? There is [i]no fucking way[/i] that Resurrection was worse than Alien 3. Alien 3 [b][i]SUCKED[/i][/b], though not quite as hard as everyone says (hence my earlier stance than it's underrated). At least Resurrection had parts that were, you know, entertaining?

[quote="Jethro Q. Walrustitty"]The Alien Resurrection review is the silliest piece of text ever posted to the internet.

[quote]The surprises and the pleasures all come with the Ripley character, who is given one of the greatest turns in sequel history. See, now she's, genetically, part alien. One of the greatest joys of the film is wondering whose side she's really on, because instead of the grim intensity of her life-and-death struggle through in the first three films, now she walks around with a perpetual smirk, as if she's enjoying watching others flail around for once.[/quote]
Except for the run-on sentence, that's the sort of sucking patter that you hear from first-year radio DJs.

All that for a movie that sucks, sucks, sucks. Oh, and Alien3 sucks, too - but geez, Alien Resurrection was absolutely terrible, and I [i]like[/i] the director.[/quote]

Pinback defended his views of Alien 4 better than anyone else on the Internet, ever. Do I think it was a terrible movie? Well, yes. However, there was at least something dome with the whole resurrection concept. It's very easy for movies to bring back the dead -- and they are worse than comic books in the respect that oftentimes, the explanation is downright chortleworthy. If they had "brought back" Ripley and just left her alone as a normal working girl, then the thing would truly be a no-star flick instead of the grudging two stars that even people who hated it have to give it.

[quote]Not having seen his list, let me guess - he probably loves Trainspotting, too. OI![/quote]

This is what it's like to be JQW's friend, ladies and gentlemen. He is so myopic that he actually thinks he got a great blast off right there. A real ZINGER. In his mind, since [i]he[/i] is ridiculously anti-drug (for no good reason, mind you) a movie that glorifies the use of heroin [b]must[/b] not only be terrible, but EVERYONE must agree with him! He can't conceive of a world where Trainspotting got more good reviews than bad. Which it did. So he has this big blind spot where Trainspotting is concerned.

Anyway. I am not going to do a great job in my next few sentences, but it has to be said: you're alone. That's not a great barb you just threw. I have absolutely no opinion of Trainspotting whatsoever, and even *I* had to shake my head in stunned silence there.

Man. What got into this guy?

The Alien Resurrection review is the silliest piece of text ever posted to the internet.

[quote]The surprises and the pleasures all come with the Ripley character, who is given one of the greatest turns in sequel history. See, now she's, genetically, part alien. One of the greatest joys of the film is wondering whose side she's really on, because instead of the grim intensity of her life-and-death struggle through in the first three films, now she walks around with a perpetual smirk, as if she's enjoying watching others flail around for once.[/quote]
Except for the run-on sentence, that's the sort of sucking patter that you hear from first-year radio DJs.

All that for a movie that sucks, sucks, sucks. Oh, and Alien3 sucks, too - but geez, Alien Resurrection was absolutely terrible, and I [i]like[/i] the director.

The dude loves GI Jane, Alien Resurrection, Alien3, and Fagnolia. Yeesh. Looks like most "heroic chic" movies are on his must-see list, too. Not having seen his list, let me guess - he probably loves Trainspotting, too. OI!

[quote="pinback"]Whoa. Geez. Sorry, man. I'll cool it out a little. It's all good. At least, I hope it's all good.[/quote]

You think you're going to show me up?! You think you can do a better job here? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? ANYTEIM PARRISH ANY GODDAMNED TIME DO YOU HEAR ME!?!!?


[quote]Violet, Lex, whoever feels I've treated them unfairly: Jonsey is right in everything he said. I'm basically just doing a character here, one that I've enjoy doing over the years, but it's admittedly a guilty pleasure. As hard as it might be to believe, I really do like y'all and appreciate your presence here. Every time a new (or even an old) member posts here, I get a little vicarious thrill of seeing a place that a good friend of mine has put together with a lot of hard work, seeing that place flourish.[/quote]

MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME PARRISH WILL YOIU I"LL GET YOU FOR THIS


[quote]I hope this clears things up and helps mend any seriously hurt feelings out there.[/quote]

RLKJKLERJKLJKLAHHRASAAAA

Whoa. Geez.

Sorry, man. I'll cool it out a little. It's all good. At least, I hope it's all good.

Violet, Lex, whoever feels I've treated them unfairly: Jonsey is right in everything he said. I'm basically just doing a character here, one that I've enjoyed doing over the years, but it's admittedly a guilty pleasure. As hard as it might be to believe, I really do like y'all and appreciate your presence here. Every time a new (or even an old) member posts here, I get a little vicarious thrill of seeing a place that a good friend of mine has put together with a lot of hard work, seeing that place flourish.

I hope this clears things up and helps mend any seriously hurt feelings out there.

[quote="pinback"]The brutal, emotionally-honest truth. I mean every last word I say here, and the disgust you sense from me in my posts is probably still a fraction of the vitriol I feel in my heart. [/quote]

Ben has a way of making everyone that associates with him feel like the guy who caught Marv Albert. What can you say to this other than, "Ah! Ah-... ha! ??"?


[quote][quote]Ben will probably immediately say that it is not in jest, but that is because he is still "in character." So please, by all means, do not take it personally. [/quote]

I hope I've convinced you what a fraudulent and ridiculous statement this is. Why would I waste time talking to you people if I was just making up bullcrap? I may not have much of a life, but I sure got better things to do with my time than that.[/quote]

Here's what you don't get.

People like you and me can be the toughest of the tough and the baddest of the bad up on the Internet. We've been in a thousand "flame wars," we've ridiculed a hundred thousand people, we've ripped the shit out of those that would oppose us. We've done so anonymously, we've done so with handles, we've done so with our own real names. We've been both the uber-troll and the only guy with a shred of reasoning and compassion in a world that is slowly falling to the horrible, shambling undead. Our feelings aren't going to get hurt if someone zings us, we're not going to lose a second's sleep over what some tool says to us over the net.

Any role a forum of BBS needs, we can play it. We are the elite.

Well here's the fucking thing, and stop me if you've heard it before: [i]with great power comes great responsibility.[/i] Yes, Ben, you can rip apart almost every person you encounter on this BBS. You can roast them alive, skewer them, shame them... all of that stuff. For a place like this, with the unwritten contract that has developed, you have a responsibility [i]not[/i] to.

And you fucking know you do! That's the thing that gets me! You know all this!

Yes, you could survive anywhere. You could hop on the "Brawl Hall." You could hop on the former Old Man Murray Forums. You could start posting at Caltrops, Something Awful, alt.flame, the Portal of Evil, Fucked Company... anywhere. And you'd more or less have scoreboard and get over on everyone you encountered.

This is not such a place.

I made the decision a long time ago that I don't want to run a BBS where only the strong survive. Let's take somebody like the Milker: do you think he'd survive for ten posts on any of those places above? Shit, Lex made it to about thirty posts on Something Awful before he had turned an entire forum against him in the course of two posts.

I know that decision essentially makes "Jolt Country" a mediocre website. (And I know, just like you do, that someday, sooner or later, this place is going to be invaded by a bunch of kids from some site somewhere on the Internet where only the "strong" survive and where a miserable little clique is going to spam the BBS and so forth.) But Jesus Christ -- [i]I already post[/i] on a dozen sites where only the strong survive. Those places already exist and are doing fine, and I can escape them whenever I want. Let's say that I suddenly decided to echo everything that you said, agree with it, and change the site so that it reflects that: first off, there's no longer a compelling reason for ANYONE to visit this place, and even moreso for me (if Random Poster X hops on here and gets the shit flamed out of him by the [i]"staff"[/i], then why stick around? Why fucking bother?).

So instead, we have JC the way it is now. I consider everyone currently participating in this website and forum to be a friend -- I want to get together with the bunch of you in Vegas, I'd want you all there in faux tuxedo t-shirts if I were to get married in Vegas -- fuck, man, turning this place into a carbon copy of a place I already go to doesn't help me at all.

So all the scathing, unfair content that I come up with ends up on Caltrops or wherever.

I FUCKING KNOW that such a decision makes this, the non-RFTK section of the site, soft as a baby's bottom. But I don't care. I really don't. I'm too old and have too much going on with work and the new game and everything else to run a guillotine BBS. I don't have the desire to run a BBS and have my friends hop on it and get slagged to death and see in-line porn outside designated areas and the rest of that. Yeah, in a perfect world, this place would be the cream of the crop and Violet and Worm and JB and everyone else on here that you say ought to kill themselves would tell you to stick it right up your ass, but that's not how those people are, and that's not how they are going to act, and I don't care. I like them all, obviously, anyway. I *prefer* them that way.

I understand where you're coming from, and I predict that you're going to go 180 degrees on me and I suspect that when you read this you're either going to stop posting or start posting like that emasculated "Happy Pinback" chap, and I [i]get[/i] that in doing so, you're attempting to appease the part of my brain that is in complete agreement with you.

However:

1) It's pretty fucking weak of you to go after everybody (aside from me) when they aren't playing on the same field as you & me and

2) Fuck you for holding [i]me[/i] to a higher standard than you hold yourself. You should be the most famous fucking person [b]on[/b] the Internet, seeing how you have more potential and larger storehouses of comedy than ANYONE else on it, and while I get that I am living a lie and the life of a failure and putting it all out there in front of everybody, you're not even trying any longer.

3) Do you have any goddamned idea how hard it is to be your friend?

Yes, Ben, when it comes right down to it, you are right. I hate to some degree the fact that this place is more like "Quarter to Three" than OMM.

But I'd hate even more not being able to fucking sleep at night.

Also, you'll notice that this is one more example of the Sysop of this BBS apologizing for his own creation to the people who frequent it.

Precious. Just too precious.

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]all of it is just in jest.[/quote]

This is, of course, ridiculous. I've been on bulletin board systems since I was like, 8 years old, and I use them for just the reason I think they were invented. To tell the truth. The brutal, emotionally-honest truth. I mean every last word I say here, and the disgust you sense from me in my posts is probably still a fraction of the vitriol I feel in my heart. Words are still an ineffecient way of expressing emotion, but it's all we have here.

[quote]Ben will probably immediately say that it is not in jest, but that is because he is still "in character." So please, by all means, do not take it personally. [/quote]

I hope I've convinced you what a fraudulent and ridiculous statement this is. Why would I waste time talking to you people if I was just making up bullcrap? I may not have much of a life, but I sure got better things to do with my time than that.

[quote]and he does not really, truly see me as the final arbitrator of bad taste who needs his neck french-snuggling the business-end side of scythe[/quote]

I think your taste in movies is lodged so far into your rectum that the surgeon's best bet would be to gouge out your eyeballs and look for it in there.

Teh Sharks R swirling!!!

[quote="Violet"]I was going to post something but I just don't care. You liked the movie and that’s all that matters. I did understand the movie. I just didn't watch it like you did. I will never watch a movie like you. If everyone watched a movie like you and agreed with everything you said, there wouldn't be a real reason to talk on here. [/quote]

Let me "break character" for a bit -- all this stuff about suicide, homocide, SCSIcide (when applicable) together with all the elitism, company calls of idiocy, mental handicaps and Steel Magnolias: all of it is just in jest. Ben will probably immediately say that it is not in jest, but that is because he is still "in character." So please, by all means, do not take it personally.

I don't really feel that Ben is a drooling sub-homonoid for digging Alien, and he does not really, truly see me as the final arbitrator of bad taste who needs his neck french-snuggling the business-end side of scythe, even though we have exchanged messages that more or less express those sentiments to one another. It's all the same as what goes on at Jeff's board.

Additionally, it has come to my attention that one of the best ways to defend one's beliefs on this BBS is to increase the volume and cartoon violence. I agree whole-heartedly that this is a valid tactic, but again, nothing personal is meant.

... OK, it has come to my attention that pinback has typed in "I just don't want to fight any longer" into an actual post on this board. I smell blood. It's going to get very ugly here now that I have sensed a bit of weakness.

[b][i]BANNED!![/i][/b]

I was going to post something but I just don't care. You liked the movie and that’s all that matters. I did understand the movie. I just didn't watch it like you did. I will never watch a movie like you. If everyone watched a movie like you and agreed with everything you said, there wouldn't be a real reason to talk on here.

I don't watch girly movies for the most part. That you say I mistook this movie for Steal Magnolias is utter garbage. I knew what I was getting into. That hurt.

Well anyway I am just going to stop now for the fact that I am board with myself. Have a nice day :)