Car Thieves

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Re: Car Thieves

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun May 06, 2018 10:17 pm

Thanks - I feel pretty good about car theft when the weather is cold, but winter is finally over. Tonight is the last night I leave my car outside during the weekend. I truly hope tonight is not the night they steal it.

by Flack » Tue Jul 11, 2017 4:41 pm

About a decade ago I had a Geo Tracker that I used for car stereo competitions. I ran into an old schoolmate once and she told me she also owned a Geo Tracker. This schoolmate was also a bullshitter, the kind that if you talk first you'll never win because they're always one upping you.

When I said I had my Tracker lowered 4 inches, she said she'd had hers lowered 6. When I said I had 5% tint put on mine, she said she had 1% tint. When I said my stereo cost around $3k, her's cost $5k. After a while I just started making up things, and sure enough she would top them, too. At some point I said I had a state of the art alarm system that talked to satellites or something and she said she had a custom alarm system that was hooked to a series of car batteries that would shock and kill anyone who tried to steal her car.

I got sidelined by that and spent the rest of the conversation asking questions about that. It was obviously made up bullshit but I couldn't let it go. What if a kid crawled in her car by accident, I asked. What kind of insurance does one have to carry on a car that electrifies people? If someone gets shocked to death in your car on someone else's property, what does that paperwork look like? What if you are in a hurry and forget to turn your own alarm off? I must have asked two dozen questions before she gave up and walked away. I still wonder about the logistics of that.

Anyway, if you want to add a theft-prevention system that kills people, I will track her down for you.

by The Happiness Engine » Mon Jul 10, 2017 4:39 pm

Bluetooth doesn't go far enough to be useful. There are crazy kits out there to rig an old phone into your car's power system and run a GPS app on it. It's a bit hardcore.

Easier idea: find the biggest relay in your fusebox under the hood and pull it whenever you leave the car. Shouldn't be able to turn over without it, unless you did something dumb and grabbed the headlight one and not the starter one.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jul 09, 2017 9:41 pm

Also, might get one of these and stick it in the car:

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jul 09, 2017 9:38 pm

Tdarcos, stay out of this thread.

Mel just sent me this link: ... metro-area
DENVER – In just the past week, members of a Colorado car club said they have experienced an unusual amount of vehicle thefts and are now asking for help to raise awareness of the issue.

An administrator with Simply Subies Colorado, allegedly the largest Subaru club in the state with over 1,600 members, told Denver7 that within the past week, at least ten of their members have had their car stolen.
Annnnnnnd I'm moving mine back behind the fence tomorrow.

by Jizaboz » Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:21 pm

pinback wrote:Why is everyone having all these interactions with police? Other than a couple of speeding tickets, I can count the number of police interactions I've had on zero hands.
Maybe you're like me and basically don't have shit worth stealing. Also, having a shitty-looking yard and peeling paint on your house helps!

by pinback » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:39 am

Why is everyone having all these interactions with police? Other than a couple of speeding tickets, I can count the number of police interactions I've had on zero hands.

by Flack » Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:49 pm

The cop response time there is amazing.

Susan and I were living in Washington when her car got stolen. She had locked her purse inside her car at work for ten minutes, and when she came back out to get it someone had busted out her window, stolen her purse, discovered she had a spare car key inside her purse, and stole the car, too.

I have, on many, many occasions, had interactions with the police which ended with me thinking, "huh, that's not how I thought that worked." I called the police on time when I thought the restaurant I was working at was going to get robbed and was told, "we're not personal security*." When my sister's house got broken into and we told the police who did it**, they said, "eh, ok," and put zero effort into tracking him down. This was no more evident to me than the day Susan's car was stolen. More or less they told us, "eh, it'll show up, or not."

Later that day, WE were the ones who found the car, abandoned in a local grocery store parking lot. There were footprints in the snow around the car. We thought they might take DNA samples, or fingerprints at the least. Turns out, we could barely get them to show up just to fill out the paperwork. When we got home we found half a dozen stolen purses in the trunk of her car. When we called the police to report that, they suggested we bring them by sometime, or not.

It seems like the only way crimes get solved these days is by people posting still shots or footage from their home security systems to Facebook and hoping someone recognizes then.

* After saying "so much for serve and protect" and hanging up on the 911 operator, this led to a personal visit from the local police who spent twenty minutes to me explaining in detail what their jobs did and didn't entail.

** My junkie cousin left his toolbox (with his name on it) at my sister's house after breaking in. The police went as far to say that was "suspicious." She didn't get any of her things back.

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:57 pm

Yeah, not everyone, I guess. I will say that it's great that the cops showed up so quickly. I am not stressed out about it or anything. You know what it really is - my car is a 2004. I've had it since 2006. It's been paid off for a while and while I wouldn't take it on a cross-country road trip, it will be able to get me to work and back for the next 10 years considering how much I use it. (10 miles a week maybe? At most?) It getting damaged or stolen means going through the whole car buying thing again, and that's the objectionable part.

by AArdvark » Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:29 pm

Aren't all the criminal stoned on the free pot the city hands out? How are they stealing cars?

by AArdvark » Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:27 pm

I know just what you need!


by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:58 pm

You have hacked our home WiFi and produced accurate video footage of me irl. "IRL," as the kids say.

by pinback » Sun Jun 18, 2017 1:15 pm

Isn't it fun, by the way, to imagine Robb's place surrounded by cops, lights flashing all over the dark city at 2 in the morning, everyone is ON THE CASE, and my man is 20 feet away going...


by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:46 am

Good point. OK, execution is off the table and I guess I can rejoin society with just normal punishments.

I have been a fool, thank you for bringing the weird calm of the Don Rogers base to this thread.

by pinback » Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:37 am

Well, how are you going to get to the store to steal bread for your family?

Car Thieves

by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:34 am

In addition to all the other stressors, last night at 2AM two pieces of shit tried to steal my car. My neighbor, who is MAN OF THE YEAR in my opinion, yelled at them and called the cops. I guess there was a driver and two white kids that went to fuck with my tires. Maybe they were stealing my WRX's hubcaps.

I say maybe because this happened at 2AM and I slept through all of that and the cops rining the doorbell twice.

On one hand, not a stressor because I slept through it, on the other hand I am going to park my car on the other side of our fence if I am not using it this week. Car thieves should be executed, by the way. I can get stealing a loaf of bread for your family, car thieves have no excuse and should be executed.