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The Good Bits, December 2023
December 16th, 2023 by Ice Cream Jonsey

I had an email address at beaver@zombieworld.com for 20+ years. The service went away without any kind of warning. It had enough downtime over the years where I had gotten most of my logins off, but one thing I did not anticipate was Valve allowing Rockstar to put their pointless middleware in between clicking “Start” on Grand Theft Auto 5 and actually being able to play the game. I don’t have the password to a Rockstar account tied with my address that went away and can’t reset it.

And Rockstar and Valve were both horrible and incompetent about it.

Rockstar had me go through a process that took three days to prove that I owned the game in question. Of course I did. I’m in my 40s, I didn’t get hacked, this was an actual thing I needed them to change for me. After giving them everything they asked for, they closed it on a Friday. Why not, gotta start that weekend:

If you have any further information we could use to investigate, or if there are any further questions, please let us know so that we can try to help.

Best regards,

Alejandra P. Rockstar Support

Well, yes, you lazy cretin, I did have more information but since you CLOSED THE FUCKING REQUEST, my attempt to send it to you failed. I will start over at some point I guess, but if I couldn’t get the email address changed then I don’t see how anyone does. So the entire process is a giant waste of time.

Valve was equally worthless – I asked for refunds for the games I can’t play any longer. The support kid saw that it was more than 2 weeks out and closed my request. Yeah. It was more than 2 weeks out. You guys let Rockstar worm their way in recently for games people bought 4 years ago. That’s on you. If Rockstar won’t take responsibility for customer service, then you need to. I mean, I can easily warez these shitty games if I was dying to, but that’s not the point.

I have 385,000 “Steam Points” for being a model customer over 20 years. Maybe they could let me spend some of them to talk to a human.

* * *

Protector for the Jaguar sucks. That’s all I’ve got this month. Happy holidays?


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