Bill Hrdjaty presents...
Hi there! The name is Bill Hrdjaty, and I'm pleased to meet you. I'm a man of wealth and taste! Or so I'd like to think! Nah, really, I'm a soon to be thirty-something computer programmer from Jersey who lives happily for the most part with his beautiful wife and two extremely ugly children. Sometimes I wonder where the kids got their ugly genes from. Wifes side I guess. I'm currently destroying my brain working for corporate megadrones in Trenton while somehow managing to live out my own twisted version of the American dream. I'm a semi-literate beer drinker who has since adolescence been more comfortable sitting in front of a console than talking with other people. So you just beware: I ain't Picasso. Picasso wasn't a writer, though, was he? Well, uh, I'm no Shakespeare. That good enough for ya? Let's start this thing!
I like interactive fiction. It's cool, and probably the most "high brow" thing I'm into. I've liked interactive fiction for a long time, though I didn't realize it was high brow until the late 1990s. Infocom and Sierra Online transported me to new worlds when I was a young lad only dreaming of future success in the corporate world and all the women that would come with that success. I loved and still love those games. Fast forward to 1997. I'm spending another harrowing day in front of my computer. Jacking off from work and wasting time surfing the Net. I decide to do a search for Infocom to see if there are any cool fan pages on the World Wide Web. I find one, but it's not just about Infocom. It features continual references to something called "ftp.ifarchive.org" and something else called "Inform" and this guy called "Graham Nelson" and it even said that the spirit of Infocom was as alive and well as it had ever been thanks to all these cool people who write all these cool games and stuff. Suffice to say, I'm really forkin' excited at this point. I'm setup in a day, playing all these crazyass games and loving it. I was hooked! Totally! And I STILL am!
I also really like adult interactive fiction. It's nice to have something to turn to after a frustrating day at work and a frustrating wife who acts like she hates your guts every other day. It doesn't make me feel guilty like I do when I read a porno mag. It's good, dirty fun, and the fact that the games usually suck ass makes me even more comfortable. Here are some short reviews of some of the real classics of adult IF. I realize that there's a lot of games I didn't cover, but that's because I've never played them. I've played these, though. I admit my reviews are kind of short compared to B & R's but I figure those guys will probably want to review some of these games themselves later so I shouldn't take anything away from them. They really seem like the sort of guys who would be really into playing adult interactive fiction, even more than me. You know what I mean! So, uh, here goes nothing.
Reviews on this page
Oh maaannn, this is one of my freaking favorites of all time. When you begin you're on 1930s era Earth, but very quickly these aliens pick you up and it's one big party after that. Hell, what in this world is more fun than being captured by leather-clad lesbian aliens? I think it's about the toughest adult IF game out there, too. You've got the ship and the weird planet and the canal to navigate, after all. It's definitely not all sex'n'fun. I think it is your best bet if you're looking for the right blend of adult action and challenging game play. Don't miss it! Easy 9 out of 10. 10 on particularly misogynstic days.
This game makes me wanna either laugh or cry. It's so bad, even though it's by the same dude who did the first (Steve Meretzky). Total piece of crap. Steve was strung out on heroin when he wrote it, and it really shows(did you see the VH1 special?). I'll show it to my kids when they're older and tell them, "Y'see, you idiots, this is what happens when you get addicted to drugs!" Play it for laughs, but beware, not even the sex aspect makes it fun to play. 1 out of 10. Maybe 1/2 out of 10. Heck, maybe a 0!
This is Sierra Online's only text adventure, and it's a dozer. Just joking. I like this game! Which is why I'm reviewing it twice(see the next review). Okay, maybe it is kind of mediocre, especially if you have played Leisure Suit Larry before this one, but you have to give it props for coming out first. I hate the really primitive parser, and the graphics are missed, but the story is pretty good, with enough sex and humor to go around for all. 5 out of 10.
Yeah, it's the same game as Softporn, but it's got spankin' new graphics which really make the game a hell of a lot easier to swallow. I wonder if that Chuck guy who wrote Softporn got a share in the profits for Al Lowe's graphical adaptation of his game? The parser still kinda sucks, but the quality of the plot becomes even more apparent thanks to the cool graphics which make the game much easier to play. I would give it at least a 7 out of 10.
Wow! This series got a whole lot better in a hurry, though I almost hesitate to classify this as "adult" interactive fiction. You're looking for love in this game, not sex. But it's really a great adventure game. Challenging! Entertaining! And long! This is easily one of the best of the Larrys on a pure gaming level. Not enough sex goin' on for my tastes, but I can bear it. The graphics are tons better than the primitive crap (that I happen to like) in the first Larry. Gets a straight eight.
YES!!! One of my absolute favorites! There's tons of sex, the graphics are incredible, the plot kicks arse, and there's even lots of great original lounge music. This game has a feel to its own that the first two didn't really have. It's funny and great and everybody should play it. A ten!
Hahahahah, I never actually heard of this game till I read Brian's review of it. He really trashed it, but it sounded like a game right up my alley so I decided to download myself a copy. It took me three playings to solve, so it's not that easy in my opinion. It's kinda short, yeah, but I quite like it. It's decent, at least. Funny. And about getting laid! Susan is a hottie! I give it a six.
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