Instant story, just add "What, here?"

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Tdarcos
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Instant story, just add "What, here?"

Post by Tdarcos » Tue May 19, 2020 11:36 pm

I've decide to try something different, writing a short story, cold, and see how it turns out. Note that the censorship monitor will not allow the derogatory f-word for a gay man, so the spelling has to be changed.
- - - -

"Hello," I yelled, "This is the Troll Room, and I don't see any trolls." But the brick wall in front of me, said nothing. It was like, well, yelling at a brick wall.

"Hey, I'm right down here," a voice sounded. He was about six inches tall, had a pointed helmet, a white beard, and a robe. His hat was red, his robe was blue.

I reached over and picked him up. "Hey, an actual troll! Wow! I didn't know there were any."

"Hey! Put me down, you friggin' faggọt! How would you like it if some strange man picked you up and started putting his hands all over you?"

I set him down, "I'm sorry, I was just surprised."

"Excuse me, gov'nor," said a bundle of sticks tied with two ropes, in a Cockney accent, "I'm the only Faggọt around here. I resent you giving him that title when I deserve it."

The Troll said, "You're just a bundle of sticks."

"Yes, tied with two ropes. That makes me a faggọt. If I had only one rope, I'd be a bagin. An' I don' see no ropes on that bloke, so he can't be no faggọt. I'm Faggọt."

The troll sighed, then looked at me. "Okay, then, listen you fag, I..."

A cigarette interrupted him. "Hey, I'm the Fag around here, and don't you forget it!"

"Oh God, a cancer stick. Where are all these British things coming from?"

"Beats me," I said, as Faggọt started throwing himself at me. "Ow! Stop it, it's an expression! Anyway, what I was trying to say is, I have no idea. I'm not interested in why British things are showing up, I'm wondering why anything is showing up. Do you have any ideas?"

I dunno, maybe it's Over There?"

Over There spoke, "Nope, not me. Did you try asking Over Here?"

Over Here said, "Nope. Try Another Place."

Another Place replied, "I know who it is. It Ain't Me."

It Ain't Me sighed, "Yeah, It's me. I'm running a teleporter. I figured it would help end some of the monotony in here."

"Okay," I said, "If that's the case, send me a gorgeous, hot babe, really tall, like taller than me, 6'6", not really thin but nicely proportioned, long blonde hair, who has the hots for me and wants me to cool them down."

"Okay," he said. She walks out. I walk over to her. "Hello."

"Hello. Now kiss me, you fool." So I do. A couple minutes later, she breaks, then says, "It Ain't Me, we need a bed. Nice and big." A king-sized bed appears. She pulls me by the hand, and we get in bed, where we resume kissing. Shortly, I start doing other things with (and to) her.

Faggọt looks in amazement. (Don't ask me how a bundle of sticks can look amazed, you'd have to see it.) "Wow! I didn't know humans did that sort of thing. This is amazing stuff, I wonder if people recorded this and watched it. Naah, once you've seen people doing this, it's bound to be too boring to just see the same thing over and over."

The Troll said, "Look out, he's going to crush her! Oh wait, he's putting that into her.... Oooh. That looks weird."

Faggọt said, "Eeew, that's disgusting!"

"Yeah, but she seems to like it."

"No, she isn't, she keeps screaming."

"I don't think she'd be yelling, 'Oh yeah!' If it hurt."

A while later, she said, "Fag, I need you. It Ain't Me, I need a lighter." She starts smoking the cigarette. "Oh man, that was great. Thanks, It Ain't Me, he was the perfect fantasy lover."

"Wait a minute," I said, "I asked him - well, anyway, the voice sounds like a him - for a fantasy girlfriend. You mean you're not imaginary?"

"I thought you were. It Ain't Me, what are we here?"

"You're in a constructed space, allowing you to have simulated interactions with each other. The simulation is perfect, everything is exactly what you want, with no deleterious effects. Paul, you can't get a social disease (including covid-19). Vicky, he can't get you pregnant."

"How soon can we do this again?" Vicky asked.

"You can do this as often as you want, as many times as you want. As far as reality is concerned, this is all in your head."

"Cool. This time I'm going to be on top."

"Fine by me."

Faggọt watched for a moment. "This is disgusting. It Ain't Me, send me to another story." He vanishes.

The troll said, "Hey, this is fine, I'm gonna watch."
This signature is limited to 128 characters, or I could have said a few more things. Like, do you know who killed JFK? it was...

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AArdvark
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Re: Instant story, just add "What, here?"

Post by AArdvark » Wed May 20, 2020 3:08 am

dont know about anyone else but that gave me the creepy-sweats

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bryanb
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Re: Instant story, just add "What, here?"

Post by bryanb » Wed May 20, 2020 11:44 am

I feel like this story had one of the better Paul sex scenes. There's no blackmail, no browbeating, and no reliance on outdated gender stereotypes. Instead, it's just about two extremely horny and consenting adults getting together and gettin' busy. I liked how the tables were turned on the Paul character who seemed to be hoping for an automaton but actually ended up with a red-blooded woman with desires of her own. At some point, I feel like Paul and Vicky might have a conversation and find out that they have a number of things in common, but that probably won't happen until page 800.

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Jizaboz
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Re: Instant story, just add "What, here?"

Post by Jizaboz » Thu May 21, 2020 1:21 am

bryanb wrote:
Wed May 20, 2020 11:44 am
I feel like this story had one of the better Paul sex scenes. There's no blackmail, no browbeating, and no reliance on outdated gender stereotypes. Instead, it's just about two extremely horny and consenting adults getting together and gettin' busy. I liked how the tables were turned on the Paul character who seemed to be hoping for an automaton but actually ended up with a red-blooded woman with desires of her own. At some point, I feel like Paul and Vicky might have a conversation and find out that they have a number of things in common, but that probably won't happen until page 800.
Here here! Excellent short story, Paul.

I'm reminding by lyrics of the Great Dave Brockie from the song "Slow Poke":
Slow Poke got all wasted, had to go to outer space!
Met a mutant Ewok with a faggọt for a face, he said;
"Hey Mister Slow Poke! Gonna make your dick throw up!"
Slow Poke took so goddamn long the shuttle just blew up.

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