Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Celebrity Monologues

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Jizaboz
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Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by Jizaboz » Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:24 am

Today I didn’t wake until almost lunch time. The previous night was a Friday and for some reason I was in the mood for IPA. 7 of em knocked me the fuck out.

So when I almost wake at 11 am I ask my GF to get some food and that didn’t happen. About 1:30 I recall having a Bojangles coupon so it’s on. I drive there.

I’m waiting on my turn in the drive thru behind someone in a shitty Kia with a sticker that reads “honk if Epstein didn’t kill himself”. This person also seems to be taking too long to order, but that’s normal when you are surrounded by fucking morons.

So this guy finally gets his shit and starts to drive off so I pull up. Oh! He forgot his drink! He looks back and sees he can’t really back up so he managed to grab his drink and say thanks and then.. slams on the gas. His car is still in reverse.

Now, I am not a “bully” or someone or starts fights because that’s stupid. It’s hard to get me angry in general usually at all. I’m not a tall or strong guy, so it wouldn’t be good for my health anyway. But in that moment.. well boys.. I lost my shit. Almost completely.

I open the door and get out (I’m already in park gear because I’m not a moron) and storm over to his car as his door is slowly opening. My intent is I’m gonna pull this fucker out and DRAG him to see what he did to my bumper. But when I get to him he’s got both hands up and pleading how sorry he is. Still pissed.

“Well. Get out. Show me your ID and insurance info.” He’s trembling lol. At that moment I was getting some satisfaction knowing that this dude KNEW he fucked up and that rather than arguing he’s scared I guess just by my voice tone or something.

About that time, the Bojangles employee pokes her head out and asks if anyone is hurt. “Oh I’m fine other than trying to understand why this stupid fucker backed into me while I was blowing the horn to warn him.” The dude says he’s sorry 3 more times or so while calling me sir.

He starts fumbling trying to find an insurance card. Doesn’t have one. Swears up and down he has insurance (probably does) but can’t find his physical card so he’s freaking out looking for a bill on his phone or something.

“Put your ID and the registration there on the hood. Hold it there and don’t move.”

I snap pictures..

About this time I’m already realizing I should calm down more and that the damage isn’t that bad. It sucks, but I’m just pissed at how stupid this guy is.

“Hey man. Shit happens. I ain’t calling the cops.. and I’m gonna try to just get another bumper from a junkyard.”

He then gives me his cell number. Then, I tell the guy “Look man I’m sorry if I come across as mean guy. I’m actually a little hungover and my patience for this shit is..”

He cuts me off and tells me he’s also hungover. Also, he just did the exact same thing in the same drive thru last month and that in that incident the car he hit had no damage. I told him “Maybe you should stay away from here.” Instead of head-butting him at that point.

Moron better give me my 100$

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pinback
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Re: Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by pinback » Sun Jan 05, 2020 5:43 am

Jizaboz wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:24 am
I was in the mood for IPA. 7 of em knocked me the fuck out.
Tsk, tsk.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Jizaboz
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Re: Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by Jizaboz » Sun Jan 05, 2020 11:56 am

pinback wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 5:43 am
Jizaboz wrote:
Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:24 am
I was in the mood for IPA. 7 of em knocked me the fuck out.
Tsk, tsk.
Yeah I woke up with that pine needle taste in my mouth as well so it's gonna be another year or so before I drink another IPA

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Jizaboz
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Re: Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by Jizaboz » Sat Jan 11, 2020 1:06 am

Plot twist: He did not call me back in time to work this out in poor man's fashion.

Claim filed.

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Re: Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:43 am

Those guys ALWAYS lie. I'll add my story ASAP
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Jizaboz
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Re: Glad it was just my bumper I guess

Post by Jizaboz » Sat Jan 11, 2020 11:42 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:43 am
Those guys ALWAYS lie. I'll add my story ASAP
Here’s your reminder to post said story.

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