Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

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Do you like piña coladas? (non-alcoholic)

I've never drank one
2
33%
Tried it, didn't like it
1
17%
Tried jt, it's okay
2
33%
Yes, I like Piña coladas
1
17%
 
Total votes: 6

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Tdarcos
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Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:02 pm

I didn't see a section on relationships so I guess sex is close enough.

Rupert Holmes "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" tells the story of a guy lying in bed next to his girlfriend, who he's grown tired of their relationship, reading the personals column until he finds an ad that intrigues him, asking, "Do you like piña coladas?" and later ""If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape." and if he's interested to reply so they can escape.

Holmes tries to explain away his two-timing of his current squeeze by saying their relationship had gotten dull and old.

So he writes his own personal ad saying he's interested, he wants to meet, and to be at O'Malley's bar at a certain time where they will plan their escape. It's not clear if "escape" in this context means to arrange a tryst or a full-blown dumping of their current partners. He shows up and discovers the Lady he was going to meet turns out to be his girlfriend!

Now an even less thought about point in this song is that his girlfriend had already decided to cheat on him and/or run off with some other guy, before he decided to reciprocate.

Until they realized they weren't communicating their relationship was dead. (He apparently never knew she liked piña coladas.) Whether this new exposure allows them to rekindle their relationship or not, the fact still remains that they both were a couple of cheating bastards who were ready and willing to either two-time or dump their current significant other without any prior warning.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by AArdvark » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:49 pm

I heard a reggae version of that song last Saturday. I did not know it existed. It was almost better than Holmes' version.

Don't you think you're putting just a little too much thought into the context of the words?

On the other hand, it's better than just ignoring it, like elevator muzak.

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by pinback » Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:50 am

This is bizarre. On the same day TDR posted this, I was out with my family and this song came on the radio, and I listened to the lyrics for the first time, and made the same comment. Why didn't they immediately start yelling at each other and throwing silverware?
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Aug 12, 2019 6:32 am

pinback wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:50 am
This is bizarre. On the same day TDR posted this, I was out with my family and this song came on the radio, and I listened to the lyrics for the first time, and made the same comment. Why didn't they immediately start yelling at each other and throwing silverware?
There is an element of stabbing that should have taken place in that song. We have sequels to such songs as The Devil Went Down to Georgia and Southern Man - but not this one? We can't have a fun, light-hearted soft rock song about a drama-filled couple slurping down girl drinks until they get enough liquid courage to stab the pointy end of those little umbrellas into each other's carotid arteries?
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Casual Observer » Mon Aug 12, 2019 4:34 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 6:32 am
pinback wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:50 am
We have sequels to such songs as The Devil Went Down to Georgia
I had no idea about this sequel, thanks for the heads up. The video's fun and Johnny Cash in it too? Awesome.

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by pinback » Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:53 pm

Wow, you fucked up the quoting on that worse than even TDR could manage.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:09 am

pinback wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:53 pm
Wow, you fucked up the quoting on that worse than even TDR could manage.
Ben, you're either giving him too much credit or me not enough. I have often fucked up in ways you haven't even begun to imagine.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by AArdvark » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:11 am

Nah, we've seen your meds list

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Jizaboz » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:17 am

"Wasted away again in Piña Coladaville"

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Thu Aug 15, 2019 5:47 am

Jizaboz wrote:
Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:17 am
"Wasted away again in Piña Coladaville"
"Lookin' for my lost bottle of Prozac."
For a good time, call 202-762-1401, in Colorado and the West, call 719-567-6742.

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Thu Aug 15, 2019 5:57 am

Another thing, it just occurred to me that in the song, she is the more adventurous one from the line, "If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape," that she's talking about sex on the beach, and I don't mean the drink. There is an element of excitement (and danger) in having sex out in public; while the risk of getting caught at midnight on a public beach is very low, it's still possible.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Flack » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:01 am

A few months ago I picked up a book called "The Wacky Top 40," which contains two-to-three page articles about "the most outrageous, hilarious, and unforgettable hit songs in pop history."

"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" is one of the songs covered in the book. There's not a lot of trivia behind it -- Rupert Holmes said the idea came to him while he was flipping through personal ads in the back of the Village Voice -- but I did learn one interesting trivia fact. According to the book, the song was number one on the charts the last week of December, 1979 and remained there the first week of January, 1980, which makes it the last #1 hit of the 1970s and the first #1 hit of the 1980s.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Flack » Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:02 am

Also I voted "never tried one" since the poll specifically refers to non-alcoholic ones.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by pinback » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:51 am

Yeah, is there an option for "there is no such thing as a non-alcoholic Pina Colada"?
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:57 pm

Yeah, what is this? Drink, Commander! What are you waiting for?

(checks the current drug list you have)

Maybe wait a bit!
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:19 pm

pinback wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:51 am
Yeah, is there an option for "there is no such thing as a non-alcoholic Pina Colada"?
Oh yes there is. Orange Julius stands sold one. They did not have a liquor license.
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by pinback » Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:31 pm

Tdarcos wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:19 pm
pinback wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:51 am
Yeah, is there an option for "there is no such thing as a non-alcoholic Pina Colada"?
Oh yes there is. Orange Julius stands sold one. They did not have a liquor license.
You can CALL it a "non-alcoholic Pina Colada". You can call anything anything. That doesn't necessarily make it fuckin' so. Your poll sucks.

Oh by the way, you are still a member of my Discord, and we would love to have you back! Everyone is hoping for your return, and I hope you consider it!
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by AArdvark » Fri Aug 16, 2019 2:54 pm

It IS kinda pointless without booze in it.
Like buying octopus food without actually having an octopus'

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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Fri Aug 16, 2019 4:34 pm

pinback wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:31 pm
Tdarcos wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:19 pm
pinback wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:51 am
Yeah, is there an option for "there is no such thing as a non-alcoholic Pina Colada"?
Oh yes there is. Orange Julius stands sold one. They did not have a liquor license.
You can CALL it a "non-alcoholic Pina Colada". You can call anything anything. That doesn't necessarily make it fuckin' so. Your poll sucks.

Oh by the way, you are still a member of my Discord, and we would love to have you back! Everyone is hoping for your return, and I hope you consider it!
Here is what I want more of:

Tdarcos mixing it up with people on the Discord.
Tdarcos starting and replying to Caltrops threads.
Tdarcos letting us know how things are going.
Cruise Posts.

Here is what I want LESS of: nothing!
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Re: Escape (The Piña Colada Song): the story of two cheating bastards

Post by Tdarcos » Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:01 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 4:34 pm
pinback wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:31 pm
Tdarcos wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:19 pm

Oh yes there is. Orange Julius stands sold one. They did not have a liquor license.
You can CALL it a "non-alcoholic Pina Colada". You can call anything anything. That doesn't necessarily make it fuckin' so. Your poll sucks.

Oh by the way, you are still a member of my Discord, and we would love to have you back! Everyone is hoping for your return, and I hope you consider it!
Here is what I want more of:

Tdarcos mixing it up with people on the Discord.
Tdarcos starting and replying to Caltrops threads.
Tdarcos letting us know how things are going.
Cruise Posts.

Here is what I want LESS of: nothing!
You don't give me a URL so I have no idea what website to visit other than presumably discord.com. Great, you want me to visit someplace I haven't been to for months, so my question is this. Where? Where the fuck am I supposed to go?
For a good time, call 202-762-1401, in Colorado and the West, call 719-567-6742.

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