10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Celebrity Monologues

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Flack
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10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Post by Flack » Thu Nov 22, 2018 10:43 am

I am one of those people who doesn't know how to cook anything, and my wife is one of those people who knows how to cook everything. Not only that, but she can cook a dozen things at the same time. Holidays, especially Thanksgiving, consist of my wife cooking a dozen dishes and me staying out of the kitchen (except when it's tasting time!).

So, in 2008, I decided I was going to make something of my own. I couldn't make the turkey, or the dressing, or anything else, so instead I decided to make... a FRUIT TURKEY.

I got the idea from some website. The body was a cantelope; the head, a potato. I improvised on the skewers, adding meat and cheese and grapes. Then I cut up some bell peppers for various other parts. I guess in the end he was more than just fruit, but the name stuck.

Image

The reaction was... mixed. Much like my humor, everybody under the age of twelve loved it, and everyone over that age collectively scratched their heads. Before long, everyone started grabbing skewers and eating the fruit turkey as an appetizer.

Happy Thanksgiving to you guys, and Happy 10th Anniversary to the Fruit Turkey.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Billy Mays
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Re: 10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Post by Billy Mays » Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:57 pm

Have you considered using a bosc pear for the head instead of a potato? It would look identical while being much tastier.

Also, I would like to thank you for living up to our MVP expectations unlike AArdvark and Tdarcos who virtually hung it up after winning.

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AArdvark
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Re: 10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Post by AArdvark » Thu Nov 22, 2018 2:00 pm

Man, feelin' the burn!

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Flack
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Re: 10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Post by Flack » Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:08 am

Billy Mays wrote:
Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:57 pm
Have you considered using a bosc pear for the head instead of a potato? It would look identical while being much tastier.

Also, I would like to thank you for living up to our MVP expectations unlike AArdvark and Tdarcos who virtually hung it up after winning.
I showed the picture to my wife and she reminded me that I used a pear and not a potato. So, +1 to Mr. Mays.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Billy Mays
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Re: 10th Anniversary of the Fruit Turkey

Post by Billy Mays » Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:23 am

My suspicions told me it was a pear in the photograph but decided to give you the benefit of the doubt instead. Thank you for coming clean on the matter.

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