The Starburst Thread

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Commander, there should be a bulk bag of Starburst headed your way tomorrow.

Starburst Bulk Candy Wholesale (1) will be shipped to Paul Robinson by Amazon.com.
Delivery: June 6, 2020

[Tdarcos]

Commander, there should be a bulk bag of Starburst headed your way tomorrow.

Starburst Bulk Candy Wholesale (1) will be shipped to Paul Robinson by Amazon.com.
Delivery: June 6, 2020

Another one? Jonsey, you just made my day. I, my diabetes and obesity thank you, you %$&%^& %$#@*# &^#$(&* &^%-@#-@-$%%^$#, as Primus would say.

If I can do you a favor let me know. I really appreciate it, and thank you for reducng my potential lifespan and increasing my medical problems. Thank you from the bottom of my soon to be weakened heart.

All kidding aside, having occasional treats really is about the only pleasure left to me, and I thank you again. I just thought of a song that fits.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yes, it is real and if Amazon is true to their word, sometime tomorrow they shall arrive.

[Jizaboz]

Ah man I was hoping for a Primus favorite of yours.

[Tdarcos]

Yes, it is real and if Amazon is true to their word, sometime tomorrow they shall arrive.

Amazon Supervisor Kahn: Oh, I've given you no word to keep. As I see it, you simply have no choice.
Jonsey: Kahn! Kahn!
Paul: Looks like we'll be watching Starburst II

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

It's "Out for Delivery."

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

It was delivered and should be to you by now, Commander.

[Tdarcos]

It was delivered and should be to you by now, Commander.

For obvious reasons (lack of staff) no mail or packages are delivered to residents which are received after a certain time, probably 5. Those are delivered as part of the nect day's deliveries.


This message sent from a mobile tablet.

[Jizaboz]

Suck it, Starburst HATErZ

[Tdarcos]

I have a feeling they have no way to deliver on weekends, as nothing came by today,or at leat through now.

[Billy Mays]

I wonder if the staff there have gotten so bold that they just steal his mail now? They already take entire bags of candy from him, throwing his packages into the trunk of their honda on the way out wouldn't be that far of a leap.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Right, exactly. I had many negative experiences with places like this when my mother worked for one. The management treated her like garbage and because nobody can apparently just be a kind human any more, if these craven leeches are already asking a one-legged man for his candy, them just helping themselves to the whole bag isn't that much of a stretch.

[Tdarcos]

A large bag (in a box from Amazon) came today, about the size of a throw pillow. The bag is white, no marks, has a sticker on it with a barcode. It's too hard to use as a pillow, (i tried), it feels like hard square lumps, so I presume it's a bag of Starburst. It's too big to open with no place to empty it, so I'll wait.

the staff there... take entire bags of candy from him, throwing his packages into the trunk of their honda on the way out wouldn't be that far of a leap.

if these craven leeches are already asking a one-legged man for his candy, them just helping themselves to the whole bag isn't that much of a stretch.

There is a big difference being politely asked for something when you have plenty and will never miss it, and someone stealing something. The difference is, I was asked. I could have said no. There is one thing I've let them take without having to ask again, which is single wrapped pieces of Starburst. Typically they'll take 1-3 pieces, they are not abusing the privilege, otherwise I'd hide the bottles instead of leaving them out. This happens maybe once every couple of weeks.

Not sure if this goes here or the other message there, but the charger came some time ago. Thank you again, but no Dido song this time. (You would not believe how hard I had to fight to keep myself from saying "no Dildo song" but I chose the high road and avoided being a dick.)

[Billy Mays]

Typically they'll take 1-3 pieces

3 pieces is approaching a handful. What, is your nursing home staffed by children? Normal candy dish etiquette dictates you have to work yourself up in the conversation to ask for one piece, which is both a privilege and an honor if granted, anymore than that is just being severely disrespectful. And that is when both parties are on a somewhat equal footing. But hey, it makes you happy and nobody is going to change your mind so I guess that is all that matters.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Once again, Billy Mays is right. We get that you are a giving, sharing person, Commander. We accept your decision. That said, let us know if you want us to ship you a bag of razor blades in Starburst wrappers next time and let this "problem" fix itself.

[Tdarcos]

hat said, let us know if you want us to ship you a bag of razor blades in Starburst wrappers next time and let this "problem" fix itself.

Jonsey, even saying such a thing might be considered "making a terroristic threat," and given the president's capacity to use armed soldiers with tear gas and rubber bullets to move peaceful protesters without warning, I think he or his stooges are capable of just about anything.

I had a standard joke. "We decided not to hold Halloween this year. We ran out of... needles and razor blades. What? We were giving away sewing kits! How dare you think of something like that? I need to use my phone! Hello, Homeland Security? I want to report a potential domestic terrorist!"

On a related note, the fears of someone contaminating halloween treats with something dangerous seems to be an urban myth. Some organization did some checking and could not find any police reports on the subject of dangerous objects (like pins, needles, or razor blades) in candy or other food in any jurisdiction in the US.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Jonsey, even saying such a thing might be considered "making a terroristic threat," and given the president's capacity to use armed soldiers with tear gas and rubber bullets to move peaceful protesters without warning, I think he or his stooges are capable of just about anything.

That's okay, we try cases in the court of public opinion now. Me trying to make sure you get the goods delivered to you - I don't want to use the term "hero," but, welp.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Commander - Amazon says the latest delivery from me arrived Saturday. Did it make its way to your room?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Bump because it's insane that Paul has not seen this.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Bumping because he was on AGAIN and didn't reply.