Where teh hell is the drunk base?

[AArdvark]

Tonight! Got half a bottle of Texas Taco vodka ( or whatever) to finish up before we fly home tomorrow, can't take it on the plane. Plus we're in Vegas! baby.

Vodka and Las Vegas, what could possibly go wrong?

THE
STRIP SHOW
AARDVARK

[AArdvark]

Watching Bob Ross reruns (with the sound off) is very stress relieving.

Funny how he got back on TV

[pinback]

Texas Taco vodka ( or whatever)

Tito's?

[AArdvark]

Er..Round Rock? It was nine bucks a quart, definitely not Tito's.

Some off brand that I was mixing with soda.

[AArdvark]

There used to be a dos program called 'jive' that replaced ordinary sentences into the kind of speech they used on Airplane!

Anybody ever see this?

[Flack]

Sure, I do.

https://www.reddit.com/r/dosgaming/comm ... r_program/

[The Happiness Engine]

Slap mah Fro

[AArdvark]

I remember thinking that it was the coolest thing for a computer to be able to do. This had to be around 1987 or so. My Commodore was never so hip.

[AArdvark]

I was jamming over at my friends house the other night and the movie Rocket Man came up. We wrote a parody song based on Elton being gay.

In the spirit of LGBTQ and woke and easily triggered snowflakes I will only leave you with the title.

It's called: 'Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me'


THE
WEIRD AL
AARDVARK

[Casual Observer]

I actually always thought it was about something like that.

[Tdarcos]

We wrote a parody song based on Elton being gay.

I think the best parody of all came from Sir Elton himself, when he said something like this to an interviewer: "I didn't get married [to a woman] because I was afraid to admit I was gay. That wasn't a problem, I knew I was gay from a young age and didn't have a problem admitting it. No, the reason I got married was because I was afraid to admit I was a heroin addict."

In the spirit of LGBTQ and woke and easily triggered snowflakes I will only leave you with the title.

It's called: 'Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me'

Oh I've done some really gross parodies of songs by The Beach Boys ("Help Me, Rhonda"), The Lettermen ("Hurt So Bad"), and The Seekers ("Georgy Girl") let me demonstrate a piece of the latter, called "Junkie Girl." The music is a happy, whistling tune, and the lyrics say something different:

Hey there, junkie girl
Tricking on the street so sickeningly
No john that you meet
Could ever see the needle marks there
Inside you...

[AArdvark]

I like Swedish Fish candy but they stick in my teeth. Do you think I should eat them rectally?

[Tdarcos]

I like Swedish Fish candy but they stick in my teeth. Do you think I should eat them rectally?

Why don't you take that question and shove it up your ass to see how that tastes instead? Seriously, that's the only reason to eat something with sugar, or made out of sugar (or gelatin and corn syrup, which all gummis like Swedish Fish are made of) is to taste it.

[AArdvark]

Problem solved!

[Tdarcos]

Since this is the drunk thread, and someone mentioned rectal consumption, I have decided to combine them.

Yes, it is possible to insert a tube up the rectum and into the intestine, and use it to supply something to be consumed by that person. If that something is alcoholic, it presents a danger to the person.

Your body has a safety mechanism to prevent you from drinking yourself to death. If your further consumption of alcohol would result in lethal alcohol poisoning, you'll pass out¹. No such protection exists for rectal ingestion of alcohol.

Thus you could shove enough booze up your ass that it kills you.

----
¹ Normal people only. Alcoholics and others who have a high tolerance for alcohol can drink themselves to death.

[AArdvark]

Would you do it? We know you do not like the taste of alcohol.

[AArdvark]

Happy Thanksgiving all! Not drinking this year as my wife is into teh chocolate martinis and I'm driving home.

THE
ENJOY RESPONSIBLY
AARDVARK

[AArdvark]

Sister in law is discussing asshole burn in the other room. I spit out my water.

Never a dull moment on Thanksgiving

[Casual Observer]

Since this is the drunk thread, and someone mentioned rectal consumption, I have decided to combine them.

Yes, it is possible to insert a tube up the rectum and into the intestine, and use it to supply something to be consumed by that person. If that something is alcoholic, it presents a danger to the person.

Your body has a safety mechanism to prevent you from drinking yourself to death. If your further consumption of alcohol would result in lethal alcohol poisoning, you'll pass out¹. No such protection exists for rectal ingestion of alcohol.

Thus you could shove enough booze up your ass that it kills you.

----
¹ Normal people only. Alcoholics and others who have a high tolerance for alcohol can drink themselves to death.

It's called boofing. See the kavanaugh hearings.

[Jizaboz]

The only people I knew of who did this were the most redneck of redneck. People I would rather not associate with.