Where teh hell is the drunk base?

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AArdvark
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by AArdvark » Wed Mar 13, 2019 3:01 pm

a 12 oz can of light beer, I drank that followed up by one more shortly thereafter because it was really hot that day and I became sloppy, falling over drunk from 2 beers in 2 hours.

I'm sorry. We can't be friends

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AArdvark
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by AArdvark » Wed Mar 13, 2019 3:10 pm

Yeah video! Pounding shots and the facial reaction!

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Casual Observer » Wed Mar 13, 2019 3:27 pm

a 12 oz can of light beer, I drank that followed up by one more shortly thereafter because it was really hot that day and I became sloppy, falling over drunk from 2 beers in 2 hours.
Think I'm going to have to call bullshit on this as well. I learned in my required DUI course (23 years ago so don't mind mentioning it) that the human body eliminates one standard drink per hour naturally. One standard drink is defined as an ounce of alcohol (or 1.5 oz of 80 proof), a 12 oz beer, (about 4% alcohol) or a 5 oz glass of wine (about 12% alcohol). So from a medical perspective, by the end of 2 hours those 2 beers (certainly they were the fucking close to water kind) would have you feeling almost nothing at all, regardless of your lack of tolerance. You picked the wrong bunch of alcoholics to make these kinds of claims to.

We know a thing or two because we've drunk a thing or two.

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AArdvark
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by AArdvark » Wed Mar 13, 2019 4:50 pm

If he's lying then we can be friends after all

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Billy Mays
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Billy Mays » Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:03 pm

How is it from a medical perspective if your background is not medicine? Also, I said from 2 beers in 2 hours, not from 2 beers after 2 hours. I'd categorize the beers I had as mid-tier, certainly not a craft beer but of much higher quality than the bottom shelf swill that people shotgun while working on their motorcycles at 2 in the morning (which involves constantly revving the bike's engine for reasons I don't understand).

I'm not making a video.

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pinback
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by pinback » Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:52 pm

Make the goddamn video, Drinky.

And don't listen to Aardvark. His breathlessly proud "Tonight!" announcements are usually followed by what I generally brace myself with before starting the family's tuna casserole on a Tuesday evening, before getting serious about it.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:26 pm

Make a video! Pinback made a video reviewing Avatar. You could review "Us" with scotch or something.

I'm saddened you are only considering the Glenlivet. I think you'd make a better personal choice if you had a glass of Ardbeg first. I'm not that saddened, though, because you reminded me I'm out of scotch.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:31 pm

pinback wrote:
Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:52 pm
Make the goddamn video, Drinky.

And don't listen to Aardvark. His breathlessly proud "Tonight!" announcements are usually followed by what I generally brace myself with before starting the family's tuna casserole on a Tuesday evening, before getting serious about it.
Goddamn. If you don't respect Aardvark, who has kept a booze diary for 50 pages and 10 years, do you respect any of us as drinkers?

I enjoy peaty scotches and literally dumping Tang into well gin. I feel there isn't even a grudging respect from you over my drinking. You've now looked down on Flack and Aardvark on this topic.

Is there none of us whom are notst 'neath you?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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AArdvark
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by AArdvark » Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:01 am

And could you explain the Tuesday tuna casserole metaphor thing? I feel it's a dig at me but am not sure. Do you like tuna casserole?

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by pinback » Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:50 am

@Aardvark: I was trying to describe "the blandest, least party-like evening possible". It's Tuesday night, and all you've got going on is opening a couple cans of albacore and some Campbell's Cream of Mushroom to get your wife and kid fed.

@ICJ: These are not boasts.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:04 am

This is my favorite thread in forever. Thanks, Billy. And Aardvark's post about, hey, slow down, we CAN be friends if you are a liar has not failed to make me laugh out loud for the four times I have re-read it.

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Flack » Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:11 am

I think the greatest irony of all is that insults about one's choice in alcohol are greatly minimized by imbibing in one's choice in alcohol. If marshmallow flavored vodka had two middle fingers, they'd be thrown up in the air, waving like they just don't care.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Billy Mays
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Billy Mays » Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:48 am

Ok, you've convinced me to go with the Ardberg. Another reason I don't care for alcohol is because I hate how I can't pour a drink without one drop clinging to the mouth of the bottle that rolls lazily down the side after I get done pouring. Now I have a drizzle of alcohol down the side of the bottle that I have to clean up with a damp napkin and then I get some on my hands and I have to wash them or it ends up on my shirt and I have to change my shirt or maybe I miss some and it's now on the table. The whole experience turns into a real fiasco and it's something I'd usually just prefer to avoid.


The next evening when AArdvark rolls away from his own vomit, the first thing he would see is pinback still knocking back drinks with cold and methodical indifference. That is what their drinking contest would look like. The man is a machine purpose built for the consumption of booze.

I'm not making a video.

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The Happiness Engine
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by The Happiness Engine » Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:48 am

If you didn't enjoy cognac scotch is just the same thing only tasting like smoke instead of grapes. They are surprisingly similar. If we're going to pretend this is in anyways true what you want is a nice white wine. A glass of $15 reisling pairs great with chinese take-out.
Billy Mays wrote:
Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:48 am
Ok, you've convinced me to go with the Ardberg. Another reason I don't care for alcohol is because I hate how I can't pour a drink without one drop clinging to the mouth of the bottle that rolls lazily down the side after I get done pouring. Now I have a drizzle of alcohol down the side of the bottle that I have to clean up with a damp napkin and then I get some on my hands and I have to wash them or it ends up on my shirt and I have to change my shirt or maybe I miss some and it's now on the table. The whole experience turns into a real fiasco and it's something I'd usually just prefer to avoid.
When you finish the pour rotate the bottle 1/4 to 1/2 with your wrist. Works with anything you pour out of a bottle, most often seen by waiters pouring wine.

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Casual Observer » Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:33 am

Billy Mays wrote:
Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:03 pm
How is it from a medical perspective if your background is not medicine? Also, I said from 2 beers in 2 hours, not from 2 beers after 2 hours. I'd categorize the beers I had as mid-tier, certainly not a craft beer but of much higher quality than the bottom shelf swill that people shotgun while working on their motorcycles at 2 in the morning (which involves constantly revving the bike's engine for reasons I don't understand).

I'm not making a video.
I think it's well documented that the average human liver can process about that amount of alcohol in an hour. Not sure what is your quibble about in or from but I understand your original post to mean that you drank 2 beers over a 2 hour period rather than you waited 2 hours then slammed 2 beers at once. Yeah, if you have no tolerance and you slam two beers at once then 15 - 20 minutes later you could feel drunk. But that's not what you wrote.

Not sure why you're starting with Archer's drink preference to seem cool. Archer is a cartoon comedy version of James Bond who famously drinks vodka martinis which are much less smoky and harsh so would be a great gateway to real drinking if that's what you're going for. I'd recommend a gimlet as a great first drink, very strong but also slightly sweet and limey.

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Billy Mays » Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:17 am

The Happiness Engine wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:48 am
If you didn't enjoy cognac scotch is just the same thing only tasting like smoke instead of grapes.
I hope to acquire a taste for it. There are many things I didn't care for originally that I learned to enjoy and now kick myself for not investing more time with sooner. Nyquil and mushrooms are two things that come to mind. This time I am going to force myself to drink every last drop, not in one sitting, and see where it takes me.

I have enjoyed the occasional glass of wine in the past, but I have no desire to become a wine drinker.

Thank you for the pouring tip! I always see waiters do that but just assumed the twist was a fancy way for them to wipe the dribble with the serviette that they also carry.

Also, I already purchased a bottle of Ardbeg based off of ICJ's recommendation. Depending on how things go with it, I also plan on purchasing the Glenlivet 12 that you recommended sometime in the future.

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pinback
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by pinback » Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:23 am

Any chance of a video?
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Billy Mays
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Billy Mays » Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:47 am

Casual Observer wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:33 am
Not sure what is your quibble...
My quibble is that you said from a medical perspective, which it wasn't, it was from the perspective of somebody who got caught drinking and driving.

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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by Billy Mays » Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:49 am

pinback wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:23 am
Any chance of a video?
I'm not making a video.

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The Happiness Engine
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Re: Where teh hell is the drunk base?

Post by The Happiness Engine » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:26 pm

The Glenlivet will be a touch brighter and less smoky/peaty than the Ardbeg, but you'll have a reference after trying it. Macallen is probably the sweetest and fruitiest of the popular scotches, lowland styles in general are the lightest-tasting.

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