Great Moments in Computer Programming

Animated GIFs & Nonsense

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:10 pm

Tdarcos wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: But you get that it's also a made-up circular requirement, right? "We made this OS that can only run the latest DirectX. DirectX can only run on the latest OS." Microsoft can write an entire OS but back-porting DirectX to 7, nope, can't be done. Come on.
Let's say a new copy of the operating system brings Micro$oft an average of $100 (after costs) since OEM copes are much less than this and retail and upgrade copies are much more. On 100 million PCs worldwide, that's ten billion dollars in profit.

Each copy not upgraded return 0 dollars in profit.

You do the math.
100 million x 0 users = 0 dollars. ???
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Tdarcos
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Post by Tdarcos » Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:34 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Tdarcos wrote: On 100 million PCs worldwide, that's ten billion dollars in profit.

Each copy not upgraded return 0 dollars in profit.

You do the math.
100 million x 0 users = 0 dollars. ???
Once Microsoft releases a new version of the operating system they invalidate all existing licenses owned by OEMS. The OEMS now have to use that release of the operating system once they run out of the old system.

Then everyone else follows along. Plus, Microsoft "End of Life"s old versions so you can no longer get support or fixes. If you buy a new computer you're forced into the new version.

Saying that there would be no users is pure fantasy. Microsoft has too many methods available to force uptake of a new release.
"I might only have one match / But I can make an explosion."
- Rachel Platten, Fight Song

Level 1 For Too Long

Post by Level 1 For Too Long » Tue Oct 04, 2016 8:16 am

Thinking about Microsoft, I had to go through a very long update for Win10 about a week ago, it was well over an hour. The end result is that they rearranged my start button (or whatever they call it in 10): which is kind of lame and now I just have to spend more time trying to find the same shit, they added post-it notes back: for whatever reason, they updated Cortana to be used in a greater number of spots: I feel she just reports on my porn usage, and they introduced a delay between the time I click on a folder in my favorites menus in Edge, and the time I actually get to see what is in that menu: this is annoying as shit.

The only good any of this did is that I am now accustomed to watching Cortana watch me watch porn (because she is everywhere now, and I am not going to stop watching porn), and it convinced me to get google chrome (which is light years ahead of the shitty Edge as far as I can tell).

My next PC, I am going with Linux for my os...unless I start really getting into this Cortana voyeurism thing.

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RealNC
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Post by RealNC » Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:19 am

Can someone explain to me, what the hell is "cortana?"

I've been using Windows 10 since August, and have not encountered the cortana thing, whatever it's supposed to be.

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Tdarcos
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Post by Tdarcos » Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:53 am

RealNC wrote:Can someone explain to me, what the hell is "cortana?"
It''s the equivalent of the iPhone's Siri, but for Microsoft Windows. A voice=activated agent.
I've been using Windows 10 since August, and have not encountered the cortana thing, whatever it's supposed to be.
If you don't have a microphone connected it might not activate it or you have to do so.
"I might only have one match / But I can make an explosion."
- Rachel Platten, Fight Song

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Flack
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Post by Flack » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:19 pm

Windows 10 had the ability to disable Cortana, but Windows 10.1 does not. The easiest way to remove it is by adding a registry entry. This page shows the key; if you're not comfortable doing that, there's a registry hack you can download and run. If you're not comfortable doing that, enjoy your new pal Cortana.

http://www.howtogeek.com/265027/how-to- ... indows-10/
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:28 pm

Waitasec. This OS that I said is sending every keystroke to the NSA now features an assistant listening at all times that you CAN'T turn off?

Ahahhahhh

"Who would want this thing in their living room"? Flack, speaking of the Xbox One, but speaking -- really -- of so much more.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Flack
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Post by Flack » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:39 pm

For the record, I don't think it understands pig latin.

We're afe-say on the orn-pay.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

Dream Weaver

Post by Dream Weaver » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:44 am

RealNC wrote:Can someone explain to me, what the hell is "cortana?"

I've been using Windows 10 since August, and have not encountered the cortana thing, whatever it's supposed to be.
right click on your task bar

highlight Cortana on the menu that shows up

left click "Show Cortana icon". and it will put a circle icon on your taskbar which you will soon hide again once you figure out it doesn't do fuck all.


Also, you used to be able to ask it cool shit, and it did a reasonably good job of finding you the correct answer.

That is pretty much how I figured out what that one picture that AArdvark posted was. You can right click on images, left click on "ask Cortana" from the menu, and it will (used to) answer them. I pretty much asked Cortana what was that shit AArdvark posted, and it took me to his photobucket page where all of his images were titled.

since the update, all it does now mostly is search for awhile and then tells you Cortana didn't find shit.

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RealNC
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Post by RealNC » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:34 am

Nope:

http://i.imgur.com/0xLvA8b.png

I guess I killed cortana by accident then.

Dream Weaver

Post by Dream Weaver » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:45 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Waitasec. This OS that I said is sending every keystroke to the NSA now features an assistant listening at all times that you CAN'T turn off?
This is supposed to be a joke right?

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AArdvark
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Post by AArdvark » Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:55 pm

What one picture I posted??




THE
ARRRUHH?
AARDVARK

Dream Weaver

Post by Dream Weaver » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:16 pm

AArdvark wrote:What one picture I posted??

THE
ARRRUHH?
AARDVARK
The jello shot one. You asked "can you guess what this is?", I clicked on the picture, asked Cortana what it was, it searched for a minute, it asked is this what you are looking for? one of the options I clicked on was your photobucket page, it had the jello shot and a collection of sketches that I already saw here, nothing juicy.

Dream Weaver

Post by Dream Weaver » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:22 pm

Dream Weaver wrote:
AArdvark wrote:What one picture I posted??

THE
ARRRUHH?
AARDVARK
The jello shot one. You asked "can you guess what this is?", I clicked on the picture, asked Cortana what it was, it searched for a minute, it asked is this what you are looking for? one of the options I clicked on was your photobucket page, it had the jello shot and a collection of sketches that I already saw here, nothing juicy.
Yeah, I just checked, it still does that. The picture is labeled jello and I just put two and two together since it was in the booze section of the board. I'm not even doing anything cheeky, I just click ask Cortana over the picture (which is an intended function), it then throws a side window up with a smaller pic of the same picture and the first link below that is your photobucket.

Dream Weaver

Post by Dream Weaver » Tue Oct 11, 2016 12:39 am

AArdvark wrote:What one picture I posted??




THE
ARRRUHH?
AARDVARK
My original response wasn't made clear, it doesn't send me inside your actual photobucket account, just the photobucket page where your public pictures are listed...it also gives me an option to buy a calendar full of your sketches.

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:09 pm

I had to answer a challenge question before my password to access my phone's bank app.

I submitted a check for deposit in the app. Before it would accept it, I had to answer the original challenge question again.

Just in case anyone ever asks you guys, challenge questions make security worse and are RETARDED FUCKING IDEAS. To have to answer the same stupid question twice is incomprehensible.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:23 pm

Also, I've got Windows 10 on a machine at work and I think it's a hunk of shit. The OS, not the machine. I was correct about everything I assumed in this thread.

This is because I have been using computers for 30 years and know what to expect with them. None of you ever question me again.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Flack
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Post by Flack » Wed Apr 12, 2017 5:25 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I had to answer a challenge question before my password to access my phone's bank app.

I submitted a check for deposit in the app. Before it would accept it, I had to answer the original challenge question again.

Just in case anyone ever asks you guys, challenge questions make security worse and are RETARDED FUCKING IDEAS. To have to answer the same stupid question twice is incomprehensible.
One time I went to the bank to deposit a check while my wife was out of town. When I tried to deposit the check, the bank asked me for my secret code word. I thought they were kidding, but no. My wife put a secret code word on our account to prevent people, including me, from depositing money into it.

I'd love to know the whole back story here -- not just why my is worried that people will be depositing money into our account without our (her) permission, but more how this became such a problem that banks created a system to protect random deposits. I'll bet some guy got a big bonus, coming up with that one. The same guy was later heralded for installing spike strips in the bank's drive-thru.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

CO

Post by CO » Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:45 pm

When I pay my chase credit card bill in person at their branch locations they require photo ID. Thinking the same thing as Flack ("why do I care if someone else deposits money into my account or pays my bill"), most of the tellers didn't know and just said "that's the rule". Finally someone told me that it's because of money laundering.

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Post by AArdvark » Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:06 pm

I'd love to know the whole back story here
My wife works for a bank, you met her. I'll post some exciting anecdotes about why those rules are in place.



THE
TALES FROM THE VAULT
AARDVARK

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