What hath Pinback wrought

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Tdarcos
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What hath Pinback wrought

Post by Tdarcos » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:07 am

(From a posting in another section)
pinback wrote:
Tdarcos wrote:
pinback wrote:That was a bad take, and a bad post.
Which can be said about practically everything you have written in this section. And I do not accept that you have the right to silence me on commenting about music
Why are you so cruel to me, Paul? What have I ever done to you?
You got about 2-3 hours for me to explain?

I still haven't forgotten how you raped one of my posts that supported you. I have long memories.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
⁠— Martin Page, In the House of Stone and Light

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Post by pinback » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:43 am

So I made a mistake, which I apologized for, and you're still holding a grudge? I thought you were a bigger man than that. I thought you were a bigger man than everything.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Re: What hath Pinback wrought

Post by Flack » Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:00 pm

Tdarcos wrote:You got about 2-3 hours for me to explain?
I almost suggested you give us the short version, until I realized that probably was.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Post by Tdarcos » Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:51 pm

pinback wrote:So I made a mistake, which I apologized for, and you're still holding a grudge? I thought you were a bigger man than that. I thought you were a bigger man than everything.
"This is how you remind me of what I really am?"

What did I ever do to you that deserved this much cruelty?
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
⁠— Martin Page, In the House of Stone and Light

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Post by pinback » Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:57 pm

what?

Look, don't start deflecting. You've been absolutely horrible to me here for the last couple of years, and I find it very hurtful, and though normally I wouldn't bring it up, I just... I've reached that point where I want to know why?
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Post by Tdarcos » Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:25 pm

pinback wrote:what?

Look, don't start deflecting. You've been absolutely horrible to me here for the last couple of years, and I find it very hurtful, and though normally I wouldn't bring it up, I just... I've reached that point where I want to know why?
Are you serious? You've tried to be rude to almost everyone and have had as your life's goal to drive everyone away from this BBS, and you ask me why you'd be disliked?

If you weren't already an atheist I'd think maybe you'd come down with a case of Christ's Final Regret ("My Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?") and having lost your faith, you're floating untethered in a terrifying world having no grounding.

Besides, with you and me it's a mutual anti-admiration society, you show me meanness and I reciprocate. Call it a case of two people locked in a hate-hate relationship, a dual victim-abuser situation.

I mean, I'm trying to do better. If you'd like to change things and get more positive feedback, say so and let's see if we can begin again.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
⁠— Martin Page, In the House of Stone and Light

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Post by pinback » Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:37 am

I would like more positive feedback. Let's begin again.
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Post by Tdarcos » Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:36 am

First, remember, the following is intended to be constructive commentary on your conduct. This is to explain and to teach, it is not intended as a personal attack nor is it meant to criticize your attitude as much as it is to show you how you might improve.
pinback wrote:I would like more positive feedback. Let's begin again.
All right. Consider which would have been a better thing to say:
What Pinback could have said wrote:You are wrong and her statement of what that part of American Pie meant is correct.
On the other hand, this is what you did say:
You really are a fuckhead. Its not JUST about the plane crash, and loafergirls interpretation of the fifth verse is generally accepted as correct. But you know every fucking thing so I won't confuse you with the facts.
Let's see what errors are here.
(1) Extreme hostility. Consider this; your attitude towards another person goes a long way toward dictating their attitude in response toward you.
(2) Hearing hoofbeats, presuming zebras. Reasonable people can have reasonable disagreements. Your first presumption was intentional malice rather than simple mistake or misunderstanding.
(3) Ad-Hominem attack. "Your comment was moronic," is an accetable disagreement to what someone said. "You are a moron," is both an ad hominem attack on the person, but at the same time says nothing about the response itself.

Consider the following: you say something, and instead of saying whether your answer is right or wrong, I say, "That's what I would expect from an alcoholic like you." That's a double-insult score. First, I've trash-talked you. Second, since my insult is true there is nothing you can say to counter it.

Plus, I've tarred your answer as wrong through "guilt by association." It is entirely possible whatever you said was actually correct, but hardly anyone will notice because of the insult.

(4) Reverse appeal to ridicule. In your last sentence you mock my intelligence by sarcastically espousing it as more than it was, in order to trash it through the implication that because of my errors I'm stupid.

Notice in all of this I have never challenged your primary point, that I was wrong about the meaning of that part of American Pie, what I have challenged is how you presented your arguments.

Now, consider these things the next time you criticize someone. In Japan, for example, they're very big on "face," or the respect they have in public. To a lesser degree we have it here. It's probably been said many times that if someone is wrong it's a good idea to let them save face, to give them an easy out.

The second thing is to "leave a good taste in their mouth." Sure, throwing a juisy cut down insult is fun, but we often forget there's a human being on the other side of the monitor, who's flesh, and blood, and has feelings. When you remember that, you can make the person like and respect you even when you correct them over something. It's the "good taste in the mouth" that you leave behind instead of a bitter pill that means the difference.

Now, think about all I have said here, and let me ask you: do you think (1) my critique of your words was warranted (2) it was accurate (3) was a critique of your words and not an attack on you personally.

If you agree, then take it to heart and think about it. If not, say how you disagree. I don't claim to be all-knowledgeable, I just make the best analysis I can given what I know.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
⁠— Martin Page, In the House of Stone and Light

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Post by Tdarcos » Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:53 am

I have one other thing to add. In the example of what you could have said I still left it in a form where it has a slight amount of anger. The following might have even been a better answer.

"Are you sure about what you're saying? Have you read what Wikipedia said about the song? I think if you look there you'll find out loafergirl was correct. Go check and see."

(If you disagree using Wikipedia you can use some other reference. Or you could cut in a quote.)

By asking the person to check their premises as opposed to flatly slamming them - especially in this case where, Wikipedia has it in black and white that I'm dead wrong - yougive the person the opportunity to come back and admit they're wrong.

And what happens? You get your point across, the other person learns they were mistaken, and "you leave a good taste" behind. No bitterness.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
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Post by pinback » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:03 am

Well, I didn't read any of that, but I thank you for your time and constructive feedback!
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Post by Tdarcos » Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:47 pm

pinback wrote:Well, I didn't read any of that, but I thank you for your time and constructive feedback!
And since you just ignored what you specifically asked me to do, this is why I am so cruel to you. You baited me into offering you a way out of being a bastard on wheels, so go fuck yourself, you son of a bitch, for wasting my time.

Make it 4-5 hours.
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Post by pinback » Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:53 pm

Whoa, whoa, where's all this hostility coming from? I thought we were starting fresh! A new beginning!
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Post by Tdarcos » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:05 am

pinback wrote:Whoa, whoa, where's all this hostility coming from? I thought we were starting fresh! A new beginning!
It don't work that way. You're complaining that I express hostility toward you. That you do not understand why you receive what you consider "cruel" treatment. That you want a fresh start, that you want positive feedback.

So i provide you with positive feedback as you requested in order to allow you to change your behavior. But you admit you don't read the fucking feedback I spent considerable time to try to show you why you get hostility in the hopes that you will change your behavior.

But essentially what you are saying is that you want to start fresh but you are willing to do nothing to change. Thus, since you refuse to listen to anything correcting you, you will continue to act in the exact same fashion of hostile and miserable behavior and wonder why the response to you in return is hostility.

You don't want to change, you have no interest in change, and you will not change.

Jesus, and you complain about me and the way I've acted here, and you just keep doing the same thing. At least I'm trying goddammit - I've been making mistakes for a long time and have to learn where I'm wrong - but you want to be able to get a free pass where you get unearned respect and deference without doing anything to change.

This is the reason you get hostility and other negative responses.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
⁠— Martin Page, In the House of Stone and Light

Master Yoda

Post by Master Yoda » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:12 am

Tdarcos wrote:At least I'm trying goddammit
Do. Or do not. There is no 'try'.

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Post by pinback » Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:47 am

Tdarcos wrote:Thus, since you refuse to listen to anything correcting you, you will continue to act in the exact same fashion of hostile and miserable behavior
What hostile and miserable behavior? This is what I don't get. How I have ever been hostile and miserable to you? I feel, if anything, I've gone out of my way to be inclusive and welcoming.
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Post by Tdarcos » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:06 pm

pinback wrote:
Tdarcos wrote:Thus, since you refuse to listen to anything correcting you, you will continue to act in the exact same fashion of hostile and miserable behavior
What hostile and miserable behavior? This is what I don't get. How I have ever been hostile and miserable to you? I feel, if anything, I've gone out of my way to be inclusive and welcoming.
To quote Henry (Ray Liotta) in Goodfellas once he figures out Tommy (Joe Pesci) is fucking with him in pretending to be mad, "Get the fuck outta here!"

I may be thick headed, I how realize you're trying to jerk me off by pretending you don't know you've been hostile. Now if you really, honestly do not think you were hostime, then go back and read what I said in offering you constructive criticism. Or here, just re-read what you said:
You really are a fuckhead. Its not JUST about the plane crash, and loafergirls interpretation of the fifth verse is generally accepted as correct. But you know every fucking thing so I won't confuse you with the facts.
This drips with anger and hatred from the first sentence. If you believe it does not, while I'm not going to insult you by impugning your intelligence, I am going to question whether you are even capable of thinking. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and presume you can't be that stupid.

Of course, I could be wrong...
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
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Post by pinback » Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:22 pm

Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that way. Well, if that was hurtful, I definitely apologize, and hope we can put that, and any other inadvertent slights I may have delivered, behind us. Please, let us begin anew!
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Flack » Tue Feb 21, 2017 8:14 pm

Normally I stop reading Tdarcos's posts because I fall asleep but this time it was from the visual of Pinback jerking him off.
"Jack Flack always escapes." -Davey Osborne

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Post by Tdarcos » Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:03 pm

pinback wrote:Wow, I didn't think you'd take it that way. Well, if that was hurtful, I definitely apologize, and hope we can put that, and any other inadvertent slights I may have delivered, behind us. Please, let us begin anew!
You really want to apologize? It's gotta mean something, and it ought to show contrition. Go back, read the two posts I wrote in this thread to show you how to improve yourself and summarize what I said.

I know that represents a cruel and unusual punishment outlawed by the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, and by Article II, Section 20 of the Constitution of the State of Colorado, but sometimes personal growth requires pain and anguish in order to grow, and you have not suffered enough to show you have matured.

In the alternative, give Cain's complaint to God after God told him what was going to happen to him for killing his brother.
"Come my restoration… Wash my body clean."
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Post by pinback » Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:07 pm

Well, I didn't read any of that either, but just please, can we begin anew??

Let's begin anew.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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