It Is Time To Construct The Ultimate Cheeseburger

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Post by pinback » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:06 pm

lethargic wrote:Isn't that pretty much how every burger in the world is served? Why don't you guys really go crazy and throw a pickle and some ketchup on there?
Why don't you eat a bag of pickled scrotums?

This is the official JC burger. Or the "JC-style" cheeseburger. I said at the beginning it wasn't going to be FANCY, it was just going to be PERFECT, and I think we've accomplished that.

ALSO: Try actually getting a burger served just the way I've described, without doing it yourself. Go ahead, GIVE 'ER A SHOT, I'll wait here.
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Post by lethargic » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:18 pm

Burger King. "Have it your way!" BOOM.

ICJ

Post by ICJ » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:23 pm

He's not wrong.

Look, I love the lethargic burger. I don't normally get a lot of fluff on it. BUN MEAT CHEESE. But we were trying to come together with some sort of consensus. All we really came together with was sorrow.

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Post by pinback » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:28 pm

lethargic wrote:Burger King. "Have it your way!" BOOM.
Yeah? YEAH? First of all, that's not a juicy (or "too juicy" as some would say) 80/20 patty. So right off the bat, you're fucked. Also, you are NOT getting a thin slice of raw white onion there, you are getting three inch-thick rounds of onion that fall off as soon as you pick it up.

Finally, good luck getting "mustard, and very thin layer of mayo" on that shit.

Now you fucked up.
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Post by lethargic » Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:10 pm

pinback wrote:Now you fucked up.
Woo hoo. 2 days early on my resolution to FUCK SHIT UP!

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Post by lethargic » Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:15 pm

If somebody did try to order that at Burger King and I was in line behind them I'd be losing my mind. There is nothing more annoying than the fast food customer with instructions.

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Post by pinback » Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:21 pm

Right. And there should be a standing order at all these places that if it's a black person, just automatically add extra mayonnaise, because that will save them the time of having to order it.

That's not racist, because 100% of all black people ("blacks") always ask for extra mayo on every fast food item they order.
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Post by pinback » Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:06 pm

This coming Friday, January 3, I will be constructing one or more "Jolt Country Ultimate Cheeseburgers" and documenting the experience in rich, color photography.

This will be exciting!
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Post by AArdvark » Mon Dec 30, 2013 8:25 pm

How about rich video? At least we'll get some kind of food video content.


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Post by ChainGangGuy » Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:14 pm

I would view that.

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Post by ChainGangGuy » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:46 am

Just as there was once a time of Jolt Country Burger War, there came a time of peace and burger rebuilding, one moist patty at a time.

January 3rd is just two days away. Bring a good appetite.

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Post by pinback » Fri Jan 03, 2014 10:11 am

Today is the day! It is ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER FRIDAY, the day when the world's first Jolt Country-Style Ultimate Cheeseburger will be created in the Pinback kitchen!

I for one could not be more excited! Even as I look back through this thread and realized that Jonsey seems to get his way more than perhaps he should have. (His recent "compromise", if you'll notice, nearly exactly echoes the recipe he posted in one of his original posts in the thread.)

But that's okay. I'm comfortable with the final product. Is it a little unusual to have lettuce but no tomato? Perhaps. Is it forward-thinking or a grave oversight that there is mustard but no pickle? Who can say, until the product is before us!?

This shit is about to GO DOWN. And by "go down", I mean my digestive system! And by "this shit", I mean:

A JOLT COUNTRY ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER!!!!!

Look for it approximately 7 PM central time.
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Post by pinback » Fri Jan 03, 2014 5:25 pm

The INGREDIENTS:

Image

Ahh, sweet PERFECTION:

Image

Image

Okay, I guess that's it. Thread over.
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Post by pinback » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:31 pm

REVIEW:

Pretty good. Too many onions, that was my "bad". Other than that, I didn't have any complaints. Would a slice of tomato or pickle have brightened it up a little? Perhaps, but we'll never know, because this conversation is over.
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Post by AArdvark » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:37 pm

Sure would be nice to discuss this with Don Rogers. I bet there's thirty minutes of content just sitting on your countertop.



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Post by RetroRomper » Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:47 am

The burger looks good and very classic, but I can't agree with a verdict of "very good" when the topic was to construct the ULTIMATE cheeseburger.

Surely we can do better?

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Post by pinback » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:39 am

Reduce the onions, chop the onions and lettuce. Boom, ultimate.
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Re:

Post by pinback » Tue May 29, 2018 5:44 pm

I am quoting myself so I can fix the image links.

My opinion has changed since this was originally posted.
pinback wrote:
Fri Jan 03, 2014 5:25 pm
The INGREDIENTS:

Image

Ahh, sweet PERFECTION:

Image

Image

Okay, I guess that's it. Thread over.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Re: It Is Time To Construct The Ultimate Cheeseburger

Post by Tdarcos » Wed May 30, 2018 5:31 am

Leave it to Pinback to reply to a four-year-old posting!
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Re: It Is Time To Construct The Ultimate Cheeseburger

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed May 30, 2018 7:59 am

Man, that roll looks terrible. Everything else I agree with. How does the roll taste? God, I'm being extremely negative in this --

(/re-reads all of lethargic's posts)

-- man, am I Captain Positive in this thread.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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