Two Funny Hot Sauce Stories

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Two Funny Hot Sauce Stories

Post by pinback »

Now, these are "funny" in comparison with most hot sauce stories, not in comparison with most stories. I'm not saying these are funny stories, just that in the realm of hot sauce stories, they are on the funny end of them.

FUNNY HOT SAUCE STORY #1:
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A few weeks ago we tried out a pizza place in town which we'd never tried. I went to pick it up. "Big Dog's Pizza". A local favorite, but seemed a little "family-friendly" to me, which usually means not great pizza. You can tell it's family-friendly, because where most restaurants have a "no firearms" sign on the door, Big Dog's has a "concealed-carry welcome!" sign.

Anyway, I go to pick up. She says it'll be just a minute, the wings weren't ready. I said we didn't order wings. She said, you're not the DoorDash guy? I said no, I'm the customer who ordered a pizza. She apologized, was very nice about it, and went to get our stuff. While I waited, I noticed they had a display of BIG DOG'S PIZZA BLACK PEPPER HOT SAUCE up front. Well, I have a policy which is whenever any place sells their own hot sauce, BUY IT. 98% of the time, they are just other sauces re-branded with their own label. 2% of the time it's their own thing. But either way, it's an opportunity to find something new.

It was delicious! The black pepper was an interesting, exciting new touch to what would otherwise be a standard (but quality) cayenne/garlic sauce. Now, thankfully, the label made it easy to tell (which it isn't always) that it was a rebranded sauce, because it showed the original manufacturer: "Black Desert Sauces". Cool.

I went right home and looked up Black Desert Sauces. I figured some cool, run-down shack in the middle of the New Mexican desert. Romantic. Ah, there's the address... It's not in New Mexico, it's...

It's fuckin' right over there! (points out the window). It's just a guy's house, and a house that I've walked past hundreds of times on my daily walks, back when I could walk. It's just some dude in the neighborhood, who set up a hot sauce kitchen in his basement. I got in touch with him over email. He was just happy to have someone to talk to. "Steve". Good old Steve. If you want to check his place out, just come over, and we can walk over there.


FUNNY HOT SAUCE STORY #2
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My Friday morning routine is now set. Kathy leaves for work early, which means I'm in charge of getting Mina up, getting her fed, getting her dressed, and getting her on the bus. Exactly three seconds after the bus leaves, I rush our dog Moose into the car and take him to day care. It's fun for him, and it gets that goddamn monster out of the house so I can work. PLUS, on the way home from doggie day care, I can hit up Jungle Jim's International Market. We get a lot of cool stuff from there, but my favorite is the hot sauce section, where every week I'll hunt for something new and delicious I haven't tried before.

This week, the "Chili Rocks" brand was on sale. I pick up a bottle. Ooo, it's from right here in Cincinnati! Well, I like to buy local, even though I hate this place, so I check out the options. The one I settle on is their "FlashOver FarmHouse Ale Garlic Chilies Hot Sauce". I checked the ingredients, and other than the "farmhouse ale" on the list, the ingredients reminded me a lot of arguably my favorite hot sauce ever, Danny Cash's "Bottled Up Anger". Garlic. Serrano. Habanero. Lime. Oh man, was that stuff great. Having a local version of that would be a dream. I pick it up. Decent price, too.

I get home, and do what I always do with a new sauce, get a spoon, pour some in there and down the hatch. Even the bottle and the stopper at the top reminded me of Danny Cash! This was awesome.

The taste was sublime. If you took the "farmhouse ale" out of it, it'd be hard to tell the difference between it and Danny Cash. Almost seemed too good to be true.

Looking for more information, I typed "farmhouse ale hot sauce" into Google to learn more.

This is what came up:

https://heatontherocks.com/products/cop ... -hot-sauce

It's fuckin' Danny Cash.

I looked at the label closer, and there it was, the little "Branded Sauces" label that Danny Cash uses when people buy their shit and slap their own label on it.

Do I know my shit, or what?
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.

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The Happiness Engine
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Re: Two Funny Hot Sauce Stories

Post by The Happiness Engine »

Chez Engine deeply enjoyed both these stories, thank you!

Also Ms. Engine has realized there is a category of sauce that is "not trying to burn your fucking tits off but actually has flavors" and she is SUPER excited to Explore the Space.

https://www.hellgatefarm.com/online-store These are about Tabasco-class sauces so far.

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