PGA Championship

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Wed Aug 14, 2002 5:42 pm

In approximately 13 hours, Eldrick will be teeing off on #10 at Hazeltine, officially beginning the fourth and final major tournament of the year.

We here at TigerWoodsIsAllah.Com pray to Him for His swift and thorough dismissal of all His competitors, and another step further into the record books.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Aug 14, 2002 6:40 pm

GO LAKERS!!!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Wed Aug 14, 2002 7:31 pm

Go ahead and mock me.

You'll get yours.

Round 1 · Post by **Round 1** » Thu Aug 15, 2002 3:44 pm

Tiger -1. Leader -4.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Aug 15, 2002 3:52 pm

I'm already looking at a bill of more than a hundred bucks to pay off the wager made previously regarding this "Tiger Woods" character.

Therefore, as far as I am concerned the guy is no different than the Buffalo Bills, i.e., always bet against him in the Big Game.

The only remotely interesting thing about Eldric there is that he has managed to get into the heads of everyone who plays against him, thus making them miserable players on Sunday if he simply hangs around. He has mentally beaten everybody else on the tour... what more can he do? How can this be compelling these days?

I cannot consider myself a "Tiger" fan, really, but I can consider myself an anti-fan of everyone else on the tour for being so mentally soft. That I can do.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Aug 15, 2002 4:26 pm

You are underestimating the difference in talent between him and everybody else playing the game. It's, as they say, "not as close as the scoreboard would indicate."

He ain't gonna win every tournament. Hell, he won't even win half (*). But don't fool yourself into thinking that he only wins because the other players crumble mentally.

They said that after the Masters this year, which was one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. Only someone who has no idea 1) how hard golf is, and 2) how EXTREMELY hard that course is, and 3) how RIDICULOUSLY UNFATHOMABLY hard that course is on Sunday could make such a preposterous statement. "See, nobody shot 65 -- they crumbled mentally!" Bullcrap.

Similarly at the U.S. Open.

Now, LAST week he won by four after his playing partner DID crumble on the back nine. But his playing partner was a guy nobody had ever heard of, and likely will never hear from again. It's like attacking a high school chess champ for losing an endgame versus Kasparov. It's not remotely fair.

Yes, betting on the field is the smart move. It's ALWAYS the smart move. But if you think golf is "boring" now (I mean, if you didn't before, but I know better) because Tiger has "ruined" the game, or somehow taken the piss and vinegar out of his competitors, then (and I can think of no nicer way to say this) you are as dumb as a soggy cheez-doodle.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Thu Aug 15, 2002 4:27 pm

(*) Of course, he's now won 4 of the last 8 PGA tournaments, and of course 7 of the last 12 majors. Err...

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 18, 2002 4:41 am

Ben wrote:But if you think golf is "boring" now (I mean, if you didn't before, but I know better) because Tiger has "ruined" the game, or somehow taken the piss and vinegar out of his competitors, then (and I can think of no nicer way to say this) you are as dumb as a soggy cheez-doodle.

Certainly, I don't think one guy made the sport boring. I do wonder what happened to the other guys who used to win before he got good, though. Did they all just get old?

I should mention, if I have not before, that three summers working at Sullivan's Driving Range in Greece, NY created an internal disdain for the game that I have to this day. I saw the mounds of sad, pathetic creatures who chose to drive crappy range balls at our dump of a location and my ire grew. I recall the dumpy, lifeless little men who would buy their $7 "large" basket of balls at 10:45pm when we closed at 11:00pm, take a half hour to hit them all and then go out into the range itself to hit additional ones, oblivious to my desire to close the store properly. I remember the twenty-somethings who would attempt to hit "the guy on the tractor" who was scooping the balls up -- i.e., me -- and note that EVERY SINGLE TIME they ATTEMPTED to hit me, they failed. They collectively had absolutely no ability to hit a spot they were aiming for, much less a moving target. But the lone Korean septuagenarian woman would somehow inexplicably do it, though she of course intended not to.

So I was filled to the brim with hate towards people who played the game, professionally or not.

Perhaps I still am. Why Colin Montgomery, Nick Faldo and Greg Norman all decided to pack it in escapes me. Perhaps they are just getting older, or perhaps there's some sort of English-speaking European (and, er, Aussie) bias that I was never aware of. I do remember that they came to Rochester for that biennial tourney they do -- the Ryder Cup or something -- and schooled everybody from the States, and quite badly at that. But I was operating under the impression that damn near every PGA tourney either has Woods dominating, or has him hanging around on Saturday before a total collapse on the part of his foes.

But!!!

But!!!!!!

Sportscenter just stated that Woods has never won a tournament that he wasn't leading at the end of Saturday. That changes things up a bit, and by a "bit" I mean totally and completely. So maybe I need to re-think my stance on the posers, losers, grob-grapplers and other assorted do-nothings that make up every tour member except for Woods. Maybe. Possibly.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 12:31 pm

Certainly, I don't think one guy made the sport boring. I do wonder what happened to the other guys who used to win before he got good, though.

Depends on who you're talking about. Below you mention three names, all guys at the age where they're basically gearing up for the senior tour. So, those guys, yes, they DID just get old.

As far as the rest of the crew, well... Ernie Els, Phil Mickelson, they're still playing, still playing well -- Vijay's in there. Then you got the new crew, with Retief Goosen, Sergio Garcia, Padraig Harrington, all these other guys, and they're all good, and they all win tournaments. But T-man is just on an entirely different plane.

You needn't look any further than this week's PGA to understand that... the announcers, the player himself, spent most of the weekend talking about how much he was struggling with his game, struggling with his swing, unable to get in a groove, having all sorts of problems...

...and he still finished in second, one shot out of the top spot, and four shots clear of everyone else. That's an "off week" for this guy.

the impression that damn near every PGA tourney either has Woods dominating, or has him hanging around on Saturday before a total collapse on the part of his foes.

I don't believe this is accurate.

Sportscenter just stated that Woods has never won a tournament that he wasn't leading at the end of Saturday.

Well, that's not accurate either. He has never won a MAJOR that he wasn't leading at the end of Saturday. He's won plenty of other tournaments by coming back.

the posers, losers, grob-grapplers and other assorted do-nothings that make up every tour member except for Woods. Maybe. Possibly.

Don't hate him because he's beautiful. It's just the way golf is. Although it does seem to be the no-named, never-was, never-will be nobodies who seem to provide the biggest challenges. Who can forget Bob May at the PGA a couple years back? And now yesterday's winner, Rich Beem. RICH BEEM?? He only barely QUALIFIED for the tournament by winning two weeks previous. And now he's champ.

Fun Stat of the Day --- Number of major wins:

Rich Beem: 1
Phil Mickelson: 0

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 12:37 pm

More fun golf statistics...

World Rankings
-------------------
#200 ranked player: Tobias Dier, number of points: 0.82.

#20 ranked player: Justin Leonard, number of points: 3.90.

#10 ranked player: Jim Furyk, number of points: 5.00

#5 ranked player: Sergio Garcia, number of points: 6.78

#2 ranked player: Phil Mickelson, number of points: 9.85

#1 ranked player: Tiger Woods...

Number of points?

17.80

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 12:50 pm

Well, that's not accurate either. He has never won a MAJOR that he wasn't leading at the end of Saturday. He's won plenty of other tournaments by coming back.

Right, I should have specified what I meant there. I messed up.

ICJ wrote: the impression that damn near every PGA tourney either has Woods dominating, or has him hanging around on Saturday before a total collapse on the part of his foes.

I don't believe this is accurate.

Right, it's not -- the casual fan may think that's what's going on. But, in fact, it does not.

Fun Stat of the Day --- Number of major wins:

Rich Beem: 1
Phil Mickelson: 0

Yeah, that's pretty funny. How many majors are in a given calendar year? If it were just 4 or something I could see a guy like Mickelson not having won one yet, I mean, he gets one chance a quarter.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 1:08 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah, that's pretty funny. How many majors are in a given calendar year?

Four. And now we're done for 2002. Next major is next April. Long time to wait.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 1:12 pm

Four!?!?!?

Oh. OK, then.

The guy's not pushing 40, is he? He's getting a bum rap there. The shit he gets for not winning one seems to just be because people like being cruel or something.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 1:49 pm

A golfer's career is defined by major wins. He is the #2 golfer in the world, and has been for quite some time. He has a number of regular PGA tour victories, and is the one guy who you can think about saying has the same level of (if not greater) technical ability than the Woods-man.

But if he does not win a major, he will never be known as a great player, and his legacy will be one of lost opportunities and near-misses with history.

As that guy said on Rome's show this morning, until he wins one, he'll always be thought of as Tiger Woods' bitch.