Jonsey LOSES!!!!!!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 11:27 am

Despite what Mr. Snivelling Sportswriter wrote, Tiger went out today and shot a career- (and likeky life-since-he-was-12-) worst round of 81, knocking him well out of contention!

Nice going, Tiger! Golf much?

Anyway, I would like:

1. Bombay Sapphire martini ($12)
2. 1 order of the crabcake appetizer ($20)
3. 1 filet, medium rare ($30)
4. 1 order spinach au gratin ($6)
5. 1 order garlic mashed potatoes ($6)
6. Another martini. ($12)
7. Creme brullee dessert ($10)
8. A nice glass of 20 year old port to go with that. ($15)
9. A breath mint. (Free!)

BRING A LOT OF CASH!!!!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:06 pm

I hated golf before this little wager, and I hate it even more right now. Fuck Woods, fuck the little fucks who would have completely wilted over -- as they have done, oh, say, A DOZEN TIMES IN THE LAST TWO YEARS ALONE -- if Woods was anywhere near the top of the leader board towards the end, and fuck me for giving you the entire rest of the field.

Who won it, anyway? Not Mickleson, right?

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:10 pm

No, babe. That was just the third round. If Tiger comes back tomorrow and shoots a 56, you might still have a chance.

Mickelson is also sucking.

This is a VERY upsetting turn of events. There's just no way this day can get worse.

Coaster Expert! · Post by **Coaster Expert!** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:13 pm

NEWS FLASH!!!

Custom Coasters International, the designers of most of the world's best wooden rollercoasters (including most of your top five, Ben, and your flat out #1), have announced that they have shut down the business!! CCI is gone!! No more CCI coasters!!

ALSO, you lost $150 playing poker last night! Perhaps you forgot, because you got really drunk, which explains why, on top of all of this, you have a really bad headache!!!

NEWS FLASH!!!

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:13 pm

I stand corrected.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:37 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I hated golf before this little wager, and I hate it even more right now. Fuck Woods, fuck the little fucks who would have completely wilted over -- as they have done, oh, say, A DOZEN TIMES IN THE LAST TWO YEARS ALONE -- if Woods was anywhere near the top of the leader board towards the end, and fuck me for giving you the entire rest of the field.

Who won it, anyway? Not Mickleson, right?

Further research on the Internet-2000 indicates that Elks is ahead. Hm.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 1:38 pm

Ben wrote:No, babe. That was just the third round. If Tiger comes back tomorrow and shoots a 56, you might still have a chance.

Well, yeah, I guess but shooting a 56 in a single round there is nigh impossible, right? (Right?)

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 2:03 pm

No one has ever shot a 56 anywhere, ever. So yeah, it's fairly unlikely.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 4:48 pm

Well, thanks for having my back on that one and getting my hopes sky high.

I believe that when we get to this Ruth's Chris's Betty's Meal-o-Rama, to offset the cost of your meal I will be enjoying:

One (1) breath mint
One other (1) breath mint

Mmm-mmm! Tasty!

No, actually, by that time I expect to see rolled up kings over aces and stacks of chips so high I can't even see over them.

Speaking of which, let me ask you this -- say there's two guys left in the World Series of Poker. I don't know what the "ultimate" hand is (starting off with two kings maybe? Dunno) but why wouldn't a guy just keep folding over and over again until he got that hand? And then, when he gets it, move all his chips in? Course, that would be a pretty good idea to his opponent that he has something and then THAT guy should fold. How do they ever get around to playing that last, final, winner-deciding hand?

Poker Expert! · Post by **Poker Expert!** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:10 pm

One other (1) breath mint

Good idea. You'll need it after that first one.

Speaking of which, let me ask you this -- say there's two guys left in the World Series of Poker.

...which there always is at the end.

I don't know what the "ultimate" hand is (starting off with two kings maybe?

"He's representing Aces, the only hand that can beat my pocket cowboys." - Mikey McD.

but why wouldn't a guy just keep folding over and over again until he got that hand?

Because folding isn't free. Every once in a while, you have to pay the "blinds" -- forced bets that you have to make before you get your cards. Kinda like an ante. When it's just two of you, you're paying some amount of blinds on every hand.

"Double the blinds?" - Mikey McD.
"Ah-kyay." - KGB

ever get around to playing that last, final, winner-deciding hand?

At some point, both people will have decent hands, and go all-in with them. That's what usually happens, anyway.

Thanks for consulting... Poker Expert!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:45 pm

Poker Expert! wrote: Because folding isn't free. Every once in a while, you have to pay the "blinds" -- forced bets that you have to make before you get your cards. Kinda like an ante. When it's just two of you, you're paying some amount of blinds on every hand.

That sounds kind of dodgy (paying the blinds on "some" hands when there's more than two people). How often do you pay the blinds when there are, say, eight people playing and how much does it cost you? (By that I mean, if "Ben" were choosing a table, what kind of min/max blind amount would he sit down to?)

Poker Expert! · Post by **Poker Expert!** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:59 pm

The two players to the left of the dealer pay the blinds each hand (and the dealer shifts to the left after every hand, so the blinds go 'round and 'round).

The guy two to the left pays a bigger amount ("the big blind") than the guy one to the left ("the small blind").

Really, man. Buy that book!

Poker Expert! · Post by **Poker Expert!** » Sat Jul 20, 2002 10:31 pm

Poker Expert! apologizes! Poker Expert! did not answer all of your questions!

How often do you pay the blinds when there are, say, eight people playing

Every eight hands, you'll have to pay the big blind and the small blind once.

and how much does it cost you?

The big blind is generally 1 small bet.
The small blind is generally 1/2 or some similar fraction of a small bet.

(Most games in a casino have structured betting limits, so that during the first two betting rounds, you can only bet a certain amount ("small bet"), and during the last two, you bet the larger amount ("big bet"). So, at a "$3/$6" table, the small bet is $3 and the big bet is $6.)

if "Ben" were choosing a table, what kind of min/max blind amount would he sit down to?

Ben generally sits at the aforementioned $3/$6 games (or something close to that). In the $3/$6 game, the big blind is $3, and the small blind is $1.

Remember, though, you're not "giving the money away". It functions as a live bet, so you can always win it back if you win the hand.

But without the blinds (or some form of ante), there is no point to the game of poker. Everyone would just sit there all day waiting for the best hand, and if anyone ever bet, everyone else would immediately fold.