Pinback Ranks Band Members Against Each Other!

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:58 am

Here's how this thread is going to work.

1) You submit ONE BAND to Pinback.
2) Pinback, in his own time, gives you the rankings of where each member of that band fits.
3) We scream at him and each other.

Pinback is the final authority and by entering the thread you agree that whatever his rankings are, they are final. That doesn't mean that you have to accept it and not virulently vomit your opinion, but outside this BBS, what he says go.

OK? Let's have one thread where we don't fuck it up. I'll go first.

Pinback, how do the members of Led Zeppelin stack up against each other?

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:59 am

By one band, I mean one band per post. Please allow a small amount of time for the reply, and then ample time for the yelling.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:07 am

4. Robert Plant

It's strange putting the front man of a band, and one of the most recognizable singers in rock last in his own band, but he was 1) dealing with three instrumentalists who were arguably the best at their particular instrument at the time, 2) kinda goofy. And while his voice is now iconic, I can see how people might not think he was the best choice. There are rumors they almost canned him after the tour for the first album. And, I mean, if he was replaced by Roger Daltrey, do you think the band would get any worse?

3. John Paul Jones

The "heart" of the band, and also the guy who made me want to learn how to play the bass. His style is instantly recognizable, and his work on Ramble On (among others) still inspires anyone who ever picked up a four-string. He also played the keys, but not nearly as well, and he gets points off for being the leading creative force behind "In Through The Out Door", unquestionably, and by a wide margin, their worst album.

2. Jimmy Page

Whaaaaaaaaat, putting the greatest rock guitarist ever only second? Whaaaaaat? I'm not trying to be edgy. His brilliance with the guitar and in the recording studio are still unmatched. All I can say is, maaaaaybe, if a different dude had made the first album and stole all the same songs, that particular album might not have been too much worse than it is? I mean, it probably would, but I have to come up with something here, to justify my first pick.

1. John Bonham

Just to show that there was no Zeppelin without Bonzo, he zilched out, and that was immediately the end of the band. You got your Neil Pearts, more technically accomplished drummers, but never a better "feel" drummer in the history of rock. One thing you don't always notice, he hits those skins harder than anyone else, but at the same time, there are all these little softer things going on underneath that give his work a singular dynamic you'll find nowhere else. And he knew when to play and when not to. Listen to the Ocean, and notice that with that raucous, familiar riff in the chorus, you FEEL LIKE he's pounding away, but really he does very little, and it makes the song legendary. No one sounded like him before or after, and no one sounded better.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:15 am

Oh man. Robert Plant #4. That crazy, shrieking, insane 90-lb front man that made everyone think this was a band possessed by the Devil. But you do make a good point about them quitting when the drummer died.

You know, I've been trying to think if that has ever happened before. The drummer dying... usually the bands just shrug and keep going right?

The only band I can think of that actually did quit, along with Zeppelin, when the drummer died is Viola Beach. Huh.

Jizaboz · Post by **Jizaboz** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:43 pm

The Monkees

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:23 pm

Ohhhhh shit oh shit oh shit, Jizaboz taking this to a dark place from the get-go!

I guarantee at least three people will leave this place forever based on this thread!

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:30 pm

The Traveling Wilburys

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:40 pm

Jizaboz wrote:The Monkees

1. Michael Nesmith, because he was the only one originally who could write any music.

2. Davy Jones, because he died a couple years ago and people were sad, so I guess he was important.

3. Micky Dolenz, because he's the only other one I've ever heard of.

4. Peter Tork, because who the fuck is "Peter Tork"?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:42 pm

Billy Mays wrote:The Traveling Wilburys

1. George Harrison, because he was in the Beatles.
2. Bob Dylan, because he actually wrote some songs I didn't utterly hate.
3. Tom Petty, because echh, I don't like Tom Petty.
4. Jeff Lynne, because who cares about Jeff Lynne.
5. Roy Orbison, because I want you (Billy Mays) to be angered by this list, and everything else I post here, and also: http://bit.ly/2fcg8Op

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:54 pm

Ok, you don't need to get shitty with me because jizaboz decided to troll your topic. Hopefully this gets you back in a good mood: I pick Rush.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:03 pm

Billy Mays wrote:Ok, you don't need to get shitty with me because jizaboz decided to troll your topic. Hopefully this gets you back in a good mood: I pick Rush.

Yes, we established that there is a line between BILLY MAYS (whom we all like) and RPG CRITIC, who is out in the real world wearing shirts with the words "Goodbye to You" crossed out on the front.

We all know Pinner's been waiting for Rush. Let's get some goddamn Rush rankings here! Go go go!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:15 pm

Billy Mays wrote:Ok, you don't need to get shitty with me because jizaboz decided to troll your topic. Hopefully this gets you back in a good mood: I pick Rush.

3. Alex Lifeson - It hurts putting him last, since I think he is vastly underrated. He plays from a different universe. His solo in Freewill is so bizarre and astonishing I can't believe it, but again, you may miss it because Geddy and Neil are doing equally insane solos at the same time.

2. Neil Peart - What more is there to say? The most often quoted influence from prog/metal drummers, basically revolutionized what a rock rhythm section could sound like. I remember hearing Tom Sawyer for the first time, not knowing who it was, and not really liking it because I thought the drummer was hitting the drums at all the wrong times. No, no he wasn't. Points off for causing the ultimate breakup of the band, and for doing that same ride-cymbal thing in 65% of all of the band's songs.

1. Geddy Lee - My bass hero. I still can't play YYZ correctly all the way through. His voice is the biggest obstacle for people enjoying the band, but that increases his esteem in my eyes, because we didn't need those losers taking up space at the concerts anyway. Also he was on the Bob & Doug McKenzie album, which I've heard more times than every other album I own combined. Ten bucks is ten bucks.

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 2:40 pm

pinback wrote:I still can't play YYZ correctly all the way through.

You're not the only one...

[youtube][/youtube]

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:09 pm

The Chipmunks

GO!

THE
COMEDY ROUTINE
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:17 pm

3. Simon, because he sounds like the kind of guy would be on Reddit and if someone wanted the name of a free game, and someone mentioned one that cost $0, would probably reply with some bullshit about "free software" meaning open-source, and link to some fuckin' Wikipedia article explaining what his sperged-out interpretation of "free game" meant. So fuck him.

2. Alvin, who you'd think would be at the top spot, but I think he's been on the top so long that he's turned into a bit of a prick who thinks he's better than the other chipmunks. Which, I mean, he is, but maybe take it down a couple notches, Mr. Fancy-Britches. Mr. Fancy No-Britches.

1. Theodore. Nigga definitely drinks beer and eats pizza, look at that goddamn gut. So he's #1 because he's the only one I'd actually consider hanging out with in real life.

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:26 pm

Black Flag!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:31 pm

This post was supposed to make everybody angry, but I see now that the only one it was truly meant to irritate was me.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:04 pm

Okay, okay, let's get it back on track and throw down a band that we are all curious about. I'm assuming that what that chart means is that there were 40 guys in Black Flag at one point, and that's going to wear him out.

PINK FLOYD.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:55 pm

5. Richard Wright. If you come up as "keyboard player", you're automatically at the bottom, plus, in the early days he looked like Barry Gibb, which, two strikes and you're out.

4. Syd Barrett. Devoting a whole album to him was too much. Devoting one song to him was arguably pushing it. Yeah, founding member, troubled genius, whatever. Get the hell outta here, you fat, dead idiot.

3. Nick Mason. Played the drums okay, I guess. I have no particular issue with Nick Mason.

2. David Gilmour. Didn't know when the band was done, and so ended up tarnishing its legacy in the later years, but holy Christ on a popsicle stick could this man play. In my all time list of great guitar solos, he probably appears more times than any other. He was also the only one who could sing like a normal person, and I saw one of his recent solo acts on some cable channel and it was magnificent. The best true musician in the band.

1. Roger Waters. When he started to be the main creative force, lots of Floyd fans were upset, and I am, right now in my chair, pointing at them and laughing, because those were the albums I enjoyed the most, by like a lot. His writing was superb, his bass playing was subtle and magical, and though Gilmour could sing properly, Waters sang in this weird, stilted, Bob Dylan-by-way-of-mental-patient style which just served to bring more weight to the words he was singing. Animals is one of the top 5 concept albums -- maybe just "albums" -- I've ever heard, and it was his doing. The Wall isn't far behind. He's a complete lunatic and a major, raving asshole, but with the exception of Alvin the Chipmunk, that's not what this thread is about.

Billy Mays · Post by **Billy Mays** » Wed Nov 02, 2016 5:28 pm

ICJ wrote:there were 40 guys in Black Flag at one point,

Not even close.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_B ... nd_members