The Day I Got an iPhone

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

(DISCLAIMER: I'm not really saying one kind of phone is better than another in the following tale. I am a little anti-iOS but it's like a 51% / 49% preference for me. All the cell phone operating systems have their good attributes and bad ones.)

A couple years ago I was sick of where I was working and got an interview at a company where my friend worked. This new place would be closer to home, doing the same sort of thing I was doing, which is coding automation tests.

I had a $7 purple Android phone at the time I secured the interview. One of the things this new job was creating was automation tests for their mobile apps. I got a heads-up that on the day of the interview, the (Russian) interviewer might want me doing stuff on an Android phone, an Apple phone or both. Since my contract had been up on my Android phone, I switched over to an iPhone, giving myself a day or so before the in-person interview to prep for the interview. I was gonna MASTER BOTH DEVICES. They had a mobile app that I looked at on my Android phone, but I didn't get a chance to look at it on my new iPhone before the interview, I forget why.

Now it's the day of the interview. The Russian guy asks, as part of my four-hour in-person interview (where was left alone in a room for three hours to do stuff) to download their app and write manual test cases against it. This was weird and a waste of time because I was applying for a job that would be 100% programming. Though the interview was four hours, he asked me to write code that would have taken 8-10 hours to totally complete. So he was asking for more time based on that, then he ladled manual cases as well. I assumed it was one of those interviews where they try to break you. I internally rolled my eyes at this, but nevertheless got started and was going quickly.

I download what I believe to be their app on the iPhone. Looked a little different than their app on Android did. Odd! But, gotta rush rush rush and get these cases written so I can then develop an automation framework against their desktop web site in the allotted time.

At the end of the allotted time I meet with the Russian guy and a few other people in one of their conference room. They review what I have written, starting with those manual cases. The Russian guy says, "What you have on line 30 (or whatever it was) is not correct."

I say that, huh, well, I think it is!

He says nyet.

I get up and show him my phone with the app installed. I mean, I didn't just make it up.

He says, "This is not our product."

As it turns out, they have a competitor that cloned their fucking app. Whatever I typed into the Apple App Store, it wasn't what I needed to type to get their app to come up first. It was enough alike that I didn't think it was too different than the Android version, but close enough to fool me.

I did not get the job.

EPILOGUE

Since this was almost two years ago, one might think, Hey Jonsey, at least your contract is up!

Well, no, not exactly that either. Whoops.

[Flack]

He says nyet.

Best line.

Because of the attitude of every single person I met who used a Macintosh computer for two decades, I swore I would never own an iPhone. This was during my "anything but Apple" phase. When everybody else was buying classic iPods, I bought a Creative Labs Nomad. Do you know how much you have to hate Apple to suffer through owning a Nomad, a device that had no simple way to transfer music to it and corrupted my music library at least once a month? Then, when everybody I knew was getting iPhones, I bought a Palm Treo, followed by a Samsung Blackjack. You gotta really hate Apple to be seen talking into a Palm Treo.

Eventually I succumbed and bought an iPod Touch. It was amazing. I wanted to hate it but I couldn't. I didn't even know you could install games and apps on it, I thought they just played music.

I had one of those sweet phone belt clips that kept my phone on the outside of my belt for my Blackjack. I was riding my R1 motorcycle to work one day when this asshole in a Dodge truck tried to pass me. I sped up and then heard the sound of his exhaust go blubba-blubba-blubba as if this guy could pass me! I downshifted into 2nd and gunned the throttle. The front wheel lifted up off the pavement and I shifted into third. There's a two-mile stretch of road we call the FAA NASCAR League where my co-workers race in two lines trying to be the first one to the left turning lane. If this truck thought he could outrun one of the fastest stock production bikes on the road, he was wrong! I rounded the corner and shifted into 4th, shooting the speedometer into the 130s with two gears to go.

With the Dodge truck nowhere in sight, I slowed down and moved into the left turning lane. I guess I showed him!

Moments later when I parked my bike I realized that my phone clip had broken during this incident and my phone was nowhere to be found. I even drove back down the strip and looked. It was gone.

That day at lunch, I bought my first iPhone.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yeah, I actually kind of like switching between various operating systems. I've been thinking a lot about Teslas lately. (Bear with me.) It occurs to me that the government will try to stamp them out, like it did DeLorean and Tucker. I like the idea of a car that doesn't align with our standard manufacturers. I don't drive enough to justify the expense of one, but I like the idea of effectively driving alien technology.

Similarly, when I am up for a phone again in 2 years or 4 years or 10 years or whatever it was, I want to go outside Apple and Google and get the weirdest phone out there. It probably means I can't play Lode Runner on it, but that's OK. I'd like a weirdo.

Since I've given up trying to make my cell phones do everything they haven't bugged me as much. My first iPhone, back in..... 2009 or so, I wanted that to be a supercomputing tricorder. It wasn't. They aren't. I'm much calmer now.

[RealNC]

It's not the OS that makes Apple products shitty. It's Apple.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

It's not the OS that makes Apple products shitty. It's Apple.

I don't want to pretend that Google is any better.

Actually SCREW IT, this is an anti-Apple thread. If someone wants an anti-Google or pro-Apple thread they can start one. I should be able to say that Bush did 9/11 without saying that Hillary isn't perfect either.

With that in mind, I read something once that said that Apple will continuously release OS updates for their old phones, not caring if performance goes to shit as a result. "They should be upgrading constantly anyway!" Frustrating.

[AArdvark]

The plant manager at work is a total Applehead and will extoll the virtues of all the various devices to no end if you let him. I never cared for the more-expensive-means-better philosophy that Apple fosters. I also dislike status symbols of any kind, being the humble person that I am, therefore pass on all things Apple. Apple is OK , just not for me.


THE
APPLE IS JUST ALRIGHT WITH
AARDVARK

[RealNC]

When I think of Apple, I think of this:

[youtube][/youtube]

[Tdarcos]

I never cared for the more-expensive-means-better philosophy that Apple fosters. I also dislike status symbols of any kind, being the humble person that I am, therefore pass on all things Apple. Apple is OK , just not for me.

From what I've seen, Basically whenever Jobs wasn't around - and sometimes when he was - Top Management at Apple did practically anything they could to run the company into the ground. Apple could have had a big piece of the corporate IT market if it wanted to, maybe ended up with 15-20% of the computer market, just change a few things like offer bulk sales and have some tech support for corporate customers, nothing that would compromise their brand image, their quality or anything except do what any smart marketer does: offer large quantity customers a discount to compensate for the reduced cost to move the merchandise. But Apple said no.

So what we have now is 90% of the PC hardware market belongs to Windows, about 4% to Apple, about 5 1/2% to Linux, and the remaining 1/2 of 1% to everything else such as Syllable, Plan 9, QNX and all the BSD releases not from Apple.

At one point Apple had fucked up so bad they had to borrow something in the neighborhood of $100 million from, of all places, Microsoft. MS did it because by keeping Apple alive they basically made themselves invulnerable to another antitrust complaint since it provided a provably legitimate choice in a different operating system.

If the Ipad and Iphone with their incredible markups hadn't saved the company and given it a huge bankroll Apple would have gone the way of Bear Stearns.

THE
APPLE IS JUST ALRIGHT WITH
AARDVARK

Is that by any chance a take on the Doobie Brothers' song "Jesus is Just Alright"?

[AArdvark]

You may be right





THE
BUT I MAY BE CRAZY
AARDVARK

[Flack]

Somebody is.

[AArdvark]

Are there any smart phones that run an OS besides iOS or Android? I guess the Windows phone, but that's already dead.


THE
SENDING FLOWERS
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

Are there any smart phones that run an OS besides iOS or Android?

Crackberry.

[loafergirl]

I like my crackberry. I'm sure I'm not even scratching the surface of it's abilities, but I do so love having a keypad that isn't touch screen.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I like my crackberry. I'm sure I'm not even scratching the surface of it's abilities, but I do so love having a keypad that isn't touch screen.

Have you tried a phone without a keypad? Some say they are smooth, smooth like hairless vanilla ice cream.

[loafergirl]

I like my crackberry. I'm sure I'm not even scratching the surface of it's abilities, but I do so love having a keypad that isn't touch screen.

Have you tried a phone without a keypad? Some say they are smooth, smooth like hairless vanilla ice cream.

??? as in touch screen or voice recognition? The mepad mini (er ipad mini) has touch screen and I can manage that one, but phones with their tiny touch screen keypads are awful. Voice recognition... HAHAHAHA as I sit listening to youtube music while my son is watching Octonauts on Netflix, two more children will be arriving from school in a manner of time and it is not unlikely one will be asking to use the house phone, meanwhile a fat cat might be meowing waiting to be fed. There are quiet occasions..... hahahaha voice recognition. "Siri what is -mommy can I...." BING "mommy is a slang term for 'mother' usually used by younger children" continuing in the Siri voice "please do not try to use me again unless they are in school"

[loafergirl]

matter of time
not manner
I'd tell myself to lay off the sauce but I'm not on any

[RetroRomper]

When I think of Apple, I think of this:

Thats just an advert for anyone living in San Francisco.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The screen of the iPhone that I got to replace the one that I got in the beginning of this thread broke tonight.

I had a "Screen Protector" and an "Otterbox" on it. All I want is the goddamn screen to not break. I would put the thing in a metal coffin if I could. Someone needs to seriously make a two-foot chamber you slide your phone into because screens aren't getting any better.

I ordered a "replacement screen" from Amazon. Let's see how this goes.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

The screen of the iPhone that I got to replace the one that I got in the beginning of this thread broke tonight.

I had a "Screen Protector" and an "Otterbox" on it. All I want is the goddamn screen to not break. I would put the thing in a metal coffin if I could. Someone needs to seriously make a two-foot chamber you slide your phone into because screens aren't getting any better.

I ordered a "replacement screen" from Amazon. Let's see how this goes.

I bought that replica Star Trek communicator from Amazon/Think Geek. That's my new phone. I've already dropped it once, but it doesn't have a screen so I can't break the screen on it.

[Flack]

Apple may end up losing me as a customer over this new "no headphone jack" thing.

As I'm sure all of you know, the new iPhones (7+) no longer have a 3.5mm headphone jack. Apple has given three reasons for removing this jack: it makes the phones thinner, it allows them to make the phones more waterproof, and... well, Apple says it's time for to go.

As for the first, I can't imagine how much thinner iPhones will be without the 3.5mm jack. More super thinnerish? I have an iPhone 6+, the largest (at that time) phone Apple made. When people saw it for the first time they said THAT'S FUCKING BIG! It's amazingly thin. It's so thin that people were worried about it bending in their pocket because it is so thin. Do we need thinner phones? No we do not.

They say that the lightning port is more waterproof than the traditional 3.5mm headphone jack. They spent a billion dollars figuring this out. The people who made the case I have now spent 4 cents on a small piece of rubber that coves the headphone jack and keeps water out. I don't feel removing a port I use every day is the solution. People get eye infections from time to time. The solution is not to remove your eyeballs.

The worst reason given by Apple is that... well, it's time for it to go. The headphone jack has run its course. There are other things we have been using for a while that we still use, like wheels, and fire, and we still use them today. Apple points to their previous decision to remove the floppy drive from their computers. The 1998 iMac shipped without a floppy drive, forcing users to move to USB solutions (they also removed their external SCSI port). Yay! Apple rid the world of floppy disks! Except, they didn't. We continued using floppy disks at work for years. When PCs joined the trend and began removing floppy drives, we had to buy USB floppy drives for people to use. I still have one in my drawer, "just in case."

The new iPhones come with a Lightning-to-3.5mm adapter so that you can use your old headphones with the new phones. That's great, until you lose it. Also, because there is only one adapter, you can't charge your phone and use wired headphones at the same time -- something I do all the time. Now, third party companies are releasing Y-Adapters to allow you to do this. What's the point of making your phones thinner if you have to have two adapters daisy chained just to get back to the functionality you had a few weeks ago?

BTW, the iPhone 6 is 6.9mm thick and the iPhone 7 is 7.1mm thick. So they took away the headphone jack and made the phone thicker instead of thinner. Thanks, Apple.

My wife has an expensive pair of Bose noise cancelling headphones that she uses every day for work. I have three different pairs of headphones/earbuds that I use, depending on the situation. My kids each have headphones. I don't want to spend another $500 on new headphones to replace working headphones after upgrading phones.

Apple's next phone needs to include a new feature that keeps my head from exploding.