Neil Rogers

Celebrity Monologues. This base allows guest posting, but please register for the full experience.

Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 17672
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Neil Rogers

Post by pinback »

I was a wee, impressionable lad of about 22 when I was sent to South Florida to work in the post offices for a few months, setting up some new horrible computer system that they all hated. The work was terrible, but since the post offices would only let you in from 10 AM to 2 PM, basically the day was, get up, drive around for four hours, then go back to the hotel and drink greyhounds the rest of the day. Good times.

During one of my drives, I was flipping around the FM dial looking for anything good. There was none. I went to hit the off button, but accidentally flipped it to AM, and the first thing I heard was... "...is a goddamn asshole!"

You... you can't say that on the radio. But this guy did. And the entire rest of the time I was in Florida, from 10-2 every day, I never flipped off of 610 AM, WIOD, and when it was within my power, never missed the Neil Rogers show.

He was Howard Stern, but without a roomful of people to help. No. He was different from that. He was one guy, one "fat old maggot", as he would refer to himself, sitting in a chair, for four hours, just going apeshit into the microphone. It was riveting, amazing, and absolutely hilarious. With an AM dial drowning in Jesus, politics, and espanol, he was a shining light. He was the shining light.

He was, in short, the greatest goddamn radio host ever to grace the airwaves. I remained a fan until his last show in June of 2009. In the latter years, the fallout from the Janet Jackson bullshit totally neutered his show, and it was a shell of its former self, but you knew he could still do it if he was able to. Rather than continue the charade, he let them buy him out.

He was more than a great radio host to me, he was something of a hero. I always wanted to be a DJ, and the show I always wanted to have was his. Even to this day, the way I talk has been molded by his relentless daily onslaught. He's left his mark on me, like he left his mark on anyone who was ever lucky enough to hear him.

It'd been a while since I looked up any of his old bits, so when I opened my browser to find some today, I found out that Neil Rogers, the greatest man to ever sit behind a mic, had died on Christmas Eve, 2010 from a mixture of heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, dementia, and what the hell else.

Even though he hadn't done a radio show in two years, I was still shocked, and still felt like I really lost something, even though he'd been gone since last year.

Anyway. I will miss you, Uncle Neil. You were the best goddamn asshole I ever heard.

[youtube][/youtube]

[youtube][/youtube]
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.

User avatar
Tdarcos
Posts: 9333
Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
Location: Arlington, Virginia
Contact:

Re: Neil Rogers

Post by Tdarcos »

pinback wrote:He was more than a great radio host to me, he was something of a hero. I always wanted to be a DJ, and the show I always wanted to have was his. Even to this day, the way I talk has been molded by his relentless daily onslaught. He's left his mark on me, like he left his mark on anyone who was ever lucky enough to hear him.
Ben, to quote from "The Outlaw Josie Wales", Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. You do not have the capacity to be a DJ or a radio host. You talk way too slowly, and, to put it in blunt terms, I don't think you think fast enough. I have heard the radio call-in shows you've recorded and your responses are so slow, I'm sure the show's ratings drop by 50% when you call in, as the listeners tune to some other station.

You have to be "on", able to make fast responses and be able to challenge the audience. But if you want, prove me wrong. Do a video in which you make comments about current events. Show passion; show anger; show brilliance. But show something, show that you have the capacity to give quick and insightful, witty, or thoughtful responses.

But you need to be able to think on your feet and do so fast. I might be able to do it, although sometimes I get tongue-tied when I try to think of too many things at once. But I have not seen or heard a capacity on your part to be able to do fast communication, which you have to be able to do to be a radio host.
Alan Francis wrote a book containing everything men understand about women. It consisted of 100 blank pages.

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 16178
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Post by AArdvark »

Lookit Dr. Tacos with a flamethrower...DAMMMMMMM!

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 17672
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Post by pinback »

I will not post on this or any other forum on this BBS until Tdarcos realizes, or is somehow convinced by the rest of you, that Ben from Santa Clarita, and my internet videos, were comedy bits.

He doesn't understand this, and likely never will. He will only understand ever two things:

1. How to drop computers.
2. How many Banquet pork patty dinners you can fit on a wheelchair at one time whilst rolling around a dollar store.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.

User avatar
ChainGangGuy
Posts: 928
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2002 11:04 am
Location: Marietta, GA

Post by ChainGangGuy »

On the BfSC pieces in particular, you gotta give it to Ben, he had great comedic timing. He's not just burping up sentences and curiously curt responses willy-nilly, the man's got finesse.

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 28877
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

Part of me also believed that Pinner took a certain delight in driving away listeners to The Larry Show, ALTHOUGH, it seemed like people listened longer just to call up and say how much they disliked Ben from Santa Clarita.

Geez, Tdarcos. It's not like Ben from SC was some carefully-crafted mastermind troll. It was fairly straightforward. How did you not get that!!?
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

User avatar
Flack
Posts: 8822
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Post by Flack »

I believe in this video, Pinback is the one on the left.

[youtube][/youtube]
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 28877
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

TANSIN AROGAN DARCOS????
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

User avatar
pinback
Posts: 17672
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
Contact:

Post by pinback »

The Don Rogers Show was, and when it comes back, will continue to be, a complete ripoff of Neil Rogers.

Shamelessly.
I don't have to say anything. I'm a doctor, too.

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 16178
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Post by AArdvark »

Just waiting for Christmas!get it uploaded. This is worse than



(edit: I apologize for posting drunk in the wrong base!)
Last edited by AArdvark on Sun Nov 18, 2012 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 28877
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Re: Neil Rogers

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

Tdarcos wrote:You do not have the capacity to be a DJ or a radio host. You talk way too slowly, and, to put it in blunt terms, I don't think you think fast enough.
But you need to be able to think on your feet and do so fast. I might be able to do it, although sometimes I get tongue-tied when I try to think of too many things at once.
This is the greatest post in message board history.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

Post Reply