Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

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Flack
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Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Flack »

By the summer of '93 I had been attending community college for two years and had no degree to show for it. Due to a complete misunderstanding of how degrees were earned (and with literally no guidance from the administration), I had managed to pay for two years' worth of classes and was nowhere near graduating. To complete my two-year degree I would need to pay for an entire third year's worth of "core" classes. Instead, I flipped them the bird and quit.

School wasn't the only part of my life that was falling apart. In 1993 I was still delivering pizza (different place), with no real goal in life. That same summer, I went home to ask my parents for some life advice and discovered my mother had moved out. My sister was the one who told me. It was, I believe, the only time I ever drank any of my father's alcohol. After I was convinced she was not pulling my leg, I went right to my dad's liquor cabinet and poured myself a tall glass of Kentucky Gentleman. I finished that glass and was working on a second when my boss at Pizza Hut called and asked if I could come in and run the kitchen that night. I did, although I vaguely remember my manager asking me "stop crying so much in front of customers" as the room (and my world) spun wildly out of control.

A few weeks later, I rekindled a relationship with Susan, another girl I had gone to school with. I first met Susan at a 7th grade Halloween party (she later told me I was the "best breakdancer and coolest skateboarder there"). Although we never dated seriously during high school, we had plenty of common friends and hung out together frequently. While I had been pissing money away at community college, she had been attending college an hour away. Shortly after reconnecting, she told me she had a spare bedroom at her place that was available for rent. With literally nothing going on in my life, I took her up on her offer, and the two of us moved in together the day before my 20th birthday.

My relationship with Susan was different than any relationship I'd ever had before. There was physical attraction, sure, but it was also like hanging out with my best friend every day. I think maybe both of us were waiting for the fun to wear off, but it never did. (Spoiler: still hasn't.) We ate together, partied together, went on little road trips together... just had fun together every single day. The same year my parents got divorced, Susan's father passed away. We turned to each other for support.

We (along with a third roommate) spent the fall of '93 and the spring of '94 working and going to school. I had graduated from pizza to Long John Silver's while Susan worked part time at a local print shop. In early '94, Susan's mom got a life insurance settlement and gave Susan a debit card connected to her bank account "for emergencies." Buying CDs from pawn shops, a pair of bicycles from Walmart at three in the morning, and regular midnight runs to roadside restaurants were just some of the things we declared as "emergencies." Frankly, the bank account was so full that these paltry purchases were never even noticed.

We had a great time living together and working and partying for six months straight until we realized in the spring of '94 that both of us were about to flunk out of school. This was compounded by the fact that I had walked into journalism class and was blindsided that my professor was replacing me as the editor of the yearbook. I believe the words "unreliable" and "procrastination" were mentioned.

So, as the story goes, I went home after a long night of frying fish and hush puppies that night and told Susan we needed to decide what we were going to do with our futures. I pulled out a quarter and said if it were to land on heads, we would cut back on the partying, put our noses to the grindstone, and salvage what we could of the semester.

"And what if it's tails?" she asked.

I didn't really have an answer. "I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon," I replied.

The quarter came up tails. The next morning at 8 a.m. we climbed into her car and headed out west with a map in the glove compartment, two suitcases in the trunk, and a debit card linked to her mother's bank account. No cell phones or GPS units back then. I don't even think we told anybody we had left. The only other thing we had was a cheap camera we bought at a convenient store.

Turns out, the Grand Canyon is pretty easy to find. While we were there, I climbed over a security fence on the edge of the canyon and got kicked out by a park ranger. After that, we decided we wanted to see Carlsbad Caverns too, so then we went there. At some point, we went to go try and find Area 51. We stopped at every roadside attraction we passed, including Meteor Crater, Bedrock City USA, Cadillac Ranch, and even went out of our way to see Highway 666. At one point I got stopped by a cop for "disrespecting" a tree. Then I remembered I had a great aunt who lived in Tucson, so we looked her up and stayed a night or two with her. While we were in Arizona, the debit card mysteriously stopped working. Susan called her mom and the conversation was brief.

"Come home."

We spent the next night in Albuquerque, New Mexico at some shit hole motel that was painted pink and made up to look like a castle. The next morning we picked up a newspaper and the headline read "Kurt Cobain Found Dead." So was our fun.

And that's how I spent my last official spring break.

At some point in my life -- potentially in a sitcom -- I had heard that students could withdraw from school without penalty if their roommate passed away. When we got back to Oklahoma, I called the office and tried it, even adding a fake sniffle or two to the conversation. When they asked me what my roommate's name was, I froze, and then hung up. Hadn't really thought that one through. Instead, I paid for an entire semester's worth of WF ("withdrew while failing") grades on my official transcript.

With no jobs and no school, there wasn't much of a reason for us to stay in that podunk college town. We ditched our other roommate and moved back to the city. Like I said, I kept waiting for things to stop being fun, and they never did. I quickly realized that I was never never going to have as much fun with another person as I was having with Susan, and I wanted it to last forever. A few weeks later, the "Easter Bunny" left behind a puzzle that, when solved, spelled out "W-I-L-L Y-O-U M-A-R-R-Y M-E". She said yes, and the fun hasn't stopped.

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"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

Casual Observer
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Casual Observer »

Flack, wow, that's an almost coincidence in that I took a very similar road trip with a girl just a year or so after you did. Major differences:
- She was already an ex-girlfirend so I only got to hit it once during a week long trip (plus some titty fondling while we car camped in the Old Opry parking lot)
- We left from upstate New York so we took the upper route out west (I90) and came back through the southern interstate in Texas
- We supported ourselves on our own steam from both working as servers at Red Lobster, which was one of the best paying restaurants in Rochester at the time

Highlights include:
- If you ever go to the Badlands in SD, you should plan for a full moon in a dry time of year. After driving all day, reaching the badlands in a full moon was one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. The rock formations light up in the moonlight and it's like you're actually on the moon or some scifi planet
- Mount Rushmore is as cheesy and as much of a waste of time as it seems like in countless movies. Don't bother.
- I couldn't believe how long it took to drive from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon to the South Rim. We did the hike down the north rim thing then thought we would drive to enjoy the south rim. Wrong. It takes like 6 hours to drive from the north to the south rim so by the time we got there it was just "oh, gee look at the view, that's great, let's leave". And the only places to stay are tourist traps so if you're young and carefree enought then car camping is best.
- Carlsbad caverns are fun, I liked the really long elevator ride and some of the cave was pretty fun. Luray caverns on the east coast was better. Howe Caverns in NY were better for me because I asked my wife to marry me there and there was an awesome river inside the cave.
- More fun than Carlsbad Caverns was a little "zoo" nearby that focused on local animals. First time I ever saw a real live scorpion and it wasn't even one of the exibits.
- Don't speed in Texas. Ever. I've been in Texas twice in my life as an adult and both times was stopped for speeding in Texas. First time with the girl we got let off with a warning. Second time with a buddy of mine we got arrested for pot.
- New Orleans is like Las Vegas with more humidity and cheaper people. You still get the street drinking but less gambling and glitz. If you're with a girl who also likes to party then get some sleep before going out because the bars there don't quit.
- The Old Opry parking lot is a fine place to car camp and grab some boobs if you have the opportunity.

Overall, I feel its a disgrace for anyone who lives in this great country to not at least once in their life do a road trip to some of these landmarks, not to mention all of the adventures that can happen with a proper road trip.

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Flack
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Flack »

I missed an opportunity to see the Badlands a few years ago. The family and I took a cruise to Alaska, so we spent a few days driving to and from the port in Seattle. On the way there we took the diagonal route (we even stopped to have lunch with ICJ on the way), but on the way back we went straight east and drove through Yellowstone and then on to see Mt. Rushmore (agreed: Zzzz) before stopping at the Mall of America in Minnesota. We spent an entire day in North Dakota visiting missile silos and underground bunkers and I don't have a burning desire to return. Also I detoured the entire trip when I found out we weren't far from Devil's Tower, which we swung by solely for a photo op.

I've only been to New Orleans once and it was with my wife and two kids, so I didn't get to experience the true essence of the city. Instead, we toured Mardi Gras World (where the make many of the floats) and my kids chose pancakes over grits so... eh. Maybe another trip.

I've been to Carlsbad Caverns three times now. Once as a little kid, once with Susan, and a third time with the whole family. We went through Meremac Caverns a few years ago and it was... different -- more "long" than "deep" per se. But the scary thing was, we arrived 15 minutes before closing time and so each time we would leave a cavern they would turn the lights off behind us and I kept thinking if something happened to our guide we would be stuck in a cave with no light. Good times.

I'm literally amazed that you got a speeding ticket in Texas. When heading south down I-35, the minute you see the Texas border everybody floors it and collectively jump 10-15mph. Maybe they just don't like Yankee license plates.

In 2013, when the four of us visited Alaska, everyone in my immediate family had officially visited all 50 states. I love a good road trip, and hope my kids inherit that from me.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

Casual Observer
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Casual Observer »

Flack wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:30 pm I've only been to New Orleans once and it was with my wife and two kids, so I didn't get to experience the true essence of the city. Instead, we toured Mardi Gras World (where the make many of the floats) and my kids chose pancakes over grits so... eh. Maybe another trip.
mmm, grits. I had no idea that in California there is really nowhere to buy real grits (some places have those instant packets) so thank the internet for Amazon. I love grits, especially done with butter and sugar. My wife likes "cheese grits" which are apparently a southern black thing but I hate american cheese so that's out for me.

The two best things in NO are Beignets and oyster po-boys. Most of the bars and even "walk through bar windows" are all about serving cheap but not strong drinks to people who are amazed about the fact that they can party all night. The city now a days is still fairly run down. A couple of years ago I was there for a convention and during the day the entire downtown and french quarter are populated mostly by construction guys. There is massive renovation going on all over the city such that at noon along every street is a haze of orange and neon green vests all eating lunch and smoking cigs.

I'm not quite sure what niche the city is going for, it's got the white trash street party vibe without the Las Vegas glitz. It's got the black magic and old city history vibe going on that's sure to be good for the tourists. It's got plenty of crime due to lots and lots of poor people. It's massively hot and humid such that for at least 9 months of the year you're better off walking around their inside riverfront shopping mall and only going out at night. The only thing that would ever bring me back to this town is I guess I wouldn't mind doing Mardi Gras there once in my life.
Flack wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:30 pm I've been to Carlsbad Caverns three times now.
Personally I can't imagine wanting to take time to go to a cavern more than once, "thanks, I've seen it now". I guess you probably took a hit for the benefit of the fam.
Flack wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:30 pm . But the scary thing was, we arrived 15 minutes before closing time and so each time we would leave a cavern they would turn the lights off behind us and I kept thinking if something happened to our guide we would be stuck in a cave with no light.
Fun fact, if you're stuck in a cave with no light you'll go crazy. A really nice cave guide once told our group that if we were stuck in this cave without light we would go crazy in a matter of days, that was nice of him to worry us like that.
Flack wrote: Wed Mar 06, 2019 3:30 pm I'm literally amazed that you got a speeding ticket in Texas. When heading south down I-35, the minute you see the Texas border everybody floors it and collectively jump 10-15mph. Maybe they just don't like Yankee license plates.
I'm quite sure it had something to do with my glaringly obvious front and back NY state licence plates. The second time was the best/worst cop experience I've ever had. Worst because it effectively ended a road trip my roomate and I had started about a week ago. Best because even living with someone in an apartment doesn't prepare you for living on the road with him. My roomate turned out to be the most miserable, throwing in your face shit, obstinate asshole I could have traveled with so I was frankly relieved to head home after this incident. I did get to see my white privilege in action when as arrested I was never put in handcuffs or "processed" normally while black county jail inmates were forced to shine the shoes of the jail employees in front of me.

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Flack
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Flack »

Grits in Oklahoma are like watery instant mashed potatoes with a spoonful of sand thrown in for texture. I truly believe every restaurant in Oklahoma is operating off of the same premise that since grits are not popular here, nobody would be able to identify what grits really are. As long as it's white and gritty, it passes.

The first time I had *real* grits was at the Flying Biscuit Cafe outside Atlanta. Shrimp and apple butter, Jesus. That got me hooked. When we went to New Orleans we went to this place called the Original City Diner which is known for giant pancakes (like, the size of a large pizza). The kids had pancakes and I ordered shrimp and grits again. They didn't taste quite the same and five minutes into my meal, the guy next to me called the waitress over and complained that his grits didn't have any crawfish in them. So, that's the day I (unwillingly) tried grits and crawfish.

I've never had an oyster po-boy, so I just googled it and I got a hit for Hillbilly Po'boys & Oysters in Oklahoma City so I'll report back soon with a review.

Oh, and yeah -- the three Carlsbad trips were when I was in 5th grade, then the time above with just the two of us, and then a few years ago with the wife and kids. It hadn't changed much.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

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Flack
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Flack »

Casual Observer wrote: Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:58 amBest because even living with someone in an apartment doesn't prepare you for living on the road with him.
I had a similar experience once. Went on a road trip with a guy I knew casually. Once we hit the road, he complained about the music, the windshield wipers, the hotel, how long we drove, how long we didn't drive... you name it. I guess you just never know until you try it. My wife and I could hop in a car and be on the road for a month together.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

Casual Observer
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Casual Observer »

Flack wrote: Thu Mar 07, 2019 5:57 pm My wife and I could hop in a car and be on the road for a month together.
That's funny, my wife and i can't even run an errand without hating each other. I do most errands by myself.

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Flack
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Re: Spring Break 1994 [Final Chapter]

Post by Flack »

Texas has definitely changed since the last time you ventured through/across it.

The road north out of Galveston has a 70 mph speed limit. At 75 mph, people behind me were flashing their headlights at me, trying to get me to move over. (It's a two lane road, and I was already in the right lane.) At 80 mph, I was by far the slowest car on the road. I finally set my cruise at 85 mph and held it there for two hours, which was just fast enough to hold my own (in the right lane).

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"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."

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