Zero Stars in advance: Transformers

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu May 17, 2007 9:56 pm

What a waste of time.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Fri May 18, 2007 8:10 am

I realize it's direced by the same guy who ruined The Amityville Horror remake which doesn't bode well, but he also did Bad Boys 1 and 2 which were good enough so I'll give him a chance. I like the idea of live action/CGI transformers enough that I don't care if the plot is cheesy. I wish they hadn't added some stupid boy/girl dynamic though. I'll be there on opening day even if my chick won't come with me.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:27 am

Here's my only issue (aside from the fact that the robots look retarded): the mythos of the thing is pretty well set. There's a guy named Prime, there's a guy named Megatron, there is a red rape van who may or may not have a face in robot mode that also has a southern accent. If you're not going to use the characteristics of the characters involved in the IP then fucking PASS on making this movie. Make "Michael Bay's Congealed Robot War" instead.

I guess I'm slightly amused by the arrogance and low talent of CG artists working for these movies. Actually - the artists are fine, it's the person doing the art direction. Yeah, that anonymous nobody knows better, definitely keep adding little parts and pieces to the robots until they are unrecognizeable. Sure, the original artists 20 years ago didn't do that, but it's not like they created a billion-dollar fad or anything. The art director had an amazing success with that Rob Schneider flick from a few years ago, of course he knows better.

Anyway, this is rapidly in danger of getting me a guest card to the Android's Dungeon, so I will stop. The thing looks perfectly fine if you remove the word "Transformers" from it.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:47 am

Well said and I do agree about the robot design. I like the shots of them transforming quickly while doing stuff, which seems more exciting than the series where lots of times they would kind of stop and transform. The robots are overly complex but it seems like you have to add complexity if you want it to be realistic that an old beat up real camero could transform into a robot. I'm no purist with transformers except when it comes to some of the bullshit toys they are passing off to todays kids. Have you seen the recent computer animation transformer episodes? They're utter crap so at least this is a different take. I like bumble bee as a camero and starsceam (the blue jet whatever it's name) was my first transformer toy so that's enough. So it's independence day with robots, I'll be there with buzz on.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri May 18, 2007 5:08 pm

So.. the building..turns into a robot.

(raises hand)

Mr Baskin?....

I don't get it.

Excuse me?

I don't get it. The building turns into a robot. Well...whats fun about that?

IF you review our marketing research dynamics, you would have seen that the percentile for animatronic edifices is at an all time....What!

(raises hand again)

I still don't get it.

THE
NOT A FAN
AARDVARK

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:31 pm

Couldn't it turn into something. . . like a bug?

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat May 19, 2007 5:44 am

On some level isn't supposed to appeal to 20-somethings who slightly remember the original cartoon and desperately WANT to build up their cred without downloading back seasons or picking up the G.I. Joe/Transformers cross over comic?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat May 19, 2007 10:11 am

I think it's supposed to bring the Transformers into the next decade. It will fail, as have the Teenage Mutant Short Stains, Godzilla 2000, Psycho Morphing power Rump Rangers and the Banana Splits of Waco, Texas. Just trying to cash in on a name from the past.

THE
TEXAS CHAINSAW
GAME SHOW HOST
AARDVARK

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:49 am

I've got my Transfomers tickets for today's 8:00 show! I hope it doesn't suck.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:08 am

I imagine the next thing they're going to milk is G.I. Joe. If we get to Silverhawks I'm going to tie a noose.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:04 pm

worm wrote:I imagine the next thing they're going to milk is G.I. Joe. If we get to Silverhawks I'm going to tie a noose.

GI joe is coming in 2010 and . . . how about if they just do Thundercats? We could watch you hang yourself that same year.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1047015/

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:41 pm

Thundercats isn't enough man. Silverhawks or Go Bots and you guys can watch me swing via webcam.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:02 pm

The first wave of reviews says that the movie is, surprisingly, pretty damn good.

COMMENTS?!

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:45 am

I thought lots of parts of it were awsome. They did a great job with the transformers, the transformations and the fight scenes. There were a bunch of elements to appeal to both 13 year olds and the 13 year olds still inside us 30 year olds. They fit in some classic lines from the series and the movie and all the nerds in the theater would clap and cheer everytime. In fact, there was a roaring cheer in the theater when Optimus Prime came on scene and when he said "one will stand and one will fall". I liked that the robots aren't shown as indestructible against humans' weapons because it took away the independence day sort of futility of our fighting them. There are a bunch of "batteries not included" sort of human-alien interaction that was kind of cute. The new vehicles they transform into are great, even though it goes with a really annoying chevy tie in ad campaign. Of course they worked in a "men in black" type of secret government agency for convenience but John Turturo was pretty damn funny as the head of it. They spent a bit too much time introducing us to the human characters at the beginning but once it gets rolling then it's really action packed throughout.

Probably the best recommendation that I can make is that my fiancé was absolutely dreading going to the movie with me ever since I mentioned it (months ago) and ended up enjoying it quite a bit. There were lots of scenes where I caught her grinning and whispering "awsome". Since she's as far from a Transformers fan as you can get then that says they did a good job.

I was expecting to have to say how dissapointed I was but no, we're probably going to see it again on the fourth if it rains like it's supposed to.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:43 pm

Yeah, watched it a second time and enjoyed it as much or more.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:42 pm

Yes, but you're JC BBS's least-beloved character. So what is one to believe?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:25 pm

We just tried to watch serenity. . . what a piece of garbage, had to turn it off after a half hour.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:43 pm

Observer's Log, Star Date 0000000

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:11 pm

Worm wrote:Observer's Log, Star Date 0000000

Geek said what?

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:12 pm

boo hoo baby boo hoo