Zero Stars in advance: Transformers
Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
It's this link!AArdvark wrote:Please to explain what it is and I'll make a comment. OR I could just make something up!
THE
THEATRE OF THE MIND
AARDVARK
http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-b ... formers-3/
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
- AArdvark
- Posts: 16181
- Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY
Did not know that it was a review series of videos.
I could totally do something like that. Only it would have more show prep, R rated language, real beers and waaaaay better material. I had to skip through better than half of the review A) because I have yet to see any of the 3 transformers movies in their entirety and thusly have no real opinion.
B) these two guys have the right idea but... seriously lousy comedy writing skills. Could go to a bar and listen to two average schmucks drink beer and flap gums about the movie and it would be funnier.
This begs the question of when will there be a video chat/ review with the local JC denizens on Youtube? Similar to the AOL chat stuff that pinback and Jones transcribe here now and then, only with video and better interaction.
I could totally do something like that. Only it would have more show prep, R rated language, real beers and waaaaay better material. I had to skip through better than half of the review A) because I have yet to see any of the 3 transformers movies in their entirety and thusly have no real opinion.
B) these two guys have the right idea but... seriously lousy comedy writing skills. Could go to a bar and listen to two average schmucks drink beer and flap gums about the movie and it would be funnier.
This begs the question of when will there be a video chat/ review with the local JC denizens on Youtube? Similar to the AOL chat stuff that pinback and Jones transcribe here now and then, only with video and better interaction.
- Tdarcos
- Posts: 9333
- Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
- Location: Arlington, Virginia
- Contact:
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
- Flack
- Posts: 8822
- Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:02 pm
- Location: Oklahoma
- Contact:
I watched the video and I thought they had a good gimmick (the "one half of the movie" thing). I mentioned this somewhere, but for a while I wrote video game reviews as Charles Manson. They went over well for a while, but the shtick wore off pretty quickly. There are only so many jokes you can make in regards to Helter Skelter, the Beatles, sex, drugs, murder, and Spahn Ranch.
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
- RetroRomper
- Posts: 1926
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:35 am
- Location: Someplace happy.
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
Here is Hot Rod, the cartoon version:
HERE is Hot Rod in the upcoming Transformers movie:
Wait a sec. I'm hitting "preview" and now I'm not sure if I posted the movie version or not. The image looks pretty much fuckin identical to the source material, what amazing talent on the part of the artists there. OK.... checking my post.... ah! It's not that I posted the first image twice, it's just that movie version Hot Rod looks SO GOOD. It's like they brought him to life!!!
What an incredible franchise!
HERE is Hot Rod in the upcoming Transformers movie:
Wait a sec. I'm hitting "preview" and now I'm not sure if I posted the movie version or not. The image looks pretty much fuckin identical to the source material, what amazing talent on the part of the artists there. OK.... checking my post.... ah! It's not that I posted the first image twice, it's just that movie version Hot Rod looks SO GOOD. It's like they brought him to life!!!
What an incredible franchise!
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
- pinback
- Posts: 17672
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
- Contact:
- pinback
- Posts: 17672
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 3:00 pm
- Contact:
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
-
- Posts: 548
- Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 11:35 am
- Contact:
- RetroRomper
- Posts: 1926
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:35 am
- Location: Someplace happy.
Alright everyone - since the five or seven Transformers movies were terrible, what was everyone hoping for from a live action film?
Did you want mouths on the robots?
Should there have been hoverboards?
What was YOUR vision?
Did you want mouths on the robots?
Should there have been hoverboards?
What was YOUR vision?
"Don't you DARE get me started on RetroArch!"
This has been a...
RETROROMPER CLASSIC TM
This has been a...
RETROROMPER CLASSIC TM
- Tdarcos
- Posts: 9333
- Joined: Fri May 16, 2008 9:25 am
- Location: Arlington, Virginia
- Contact:
An earth-shattering KABOOM! and the world exploded into chunks so they never make another fucking Transformers movie again. And hopefully, the earth-shattering KABOOM! takes Michael Bay with it.RetroRomper wrote:Alright everyone - since the five or seven Transformers movies were terrible, what was everyone hoping for from a live action film?
What was YOUR vision?
Alan Francis wrote a book containing everything men understand about women. It consisted of 100 blank pages.
- Ice Cream Jonsey
- Posts: 28879
- Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
- Location: Colorado
- Contact:
Melissa and I took our nephew to see the ... what is it, 5th one? last night on his request.
It was probably the worst movie I've ever seen. This thread is 10 years old and just to confirm, I'd never seen the others.
What a mess. I mean, I guess this is Michael Bay's thing now and he loves himself for it. It was two and a half hours long and should have been 70 minutes. Every single scene ends with the (laughably untalented) screenwriters going AN' AN' AN' THEN THERE WAS SHIPS! AND SUBS! AN' AN' AN MOOOOOOOOOM TOMMY WONT LET ME PLAY WITH HOT ROD!
Tommy: Jamapelle croissoint fewf fewf lol
MOOOOOMMMM
Just racing from one stupid scene to the next, and God forbid if you didn't see the others. Why was John Turturro in this? I hope the answer is because of something he did in one of the other movies. I am PRAYING that is it because even if you handwave over all the other rubbish, the fact that Bay thinks, "People enjoy my work; they've seen the others, they will get it" takes it to its own level of contempt.
Everything in this hunk of shit was so ridiculously stupid and retarded. I cannot believe grown adults spent time making this nonsense. Where's the fucking dignity? They honestly believe it's going to make money anyway, so why do anything well. I've worked at companies that made profits. I still took pride in what I did.
I won't even get into the fact that the entire story sounds like someone kinda, sorta heard about the Transformers once and awkwardly tried to shove it in to this stupid movie at times while rolling their eyes and doing it badly on purpose. There is a three-headed dragon in it, should have been Sky Lynx. But it isn't, so I guess they are making their own stuff up? OK, but then they go and name someone Hot Rod, who was the protagonist of the animated movie, but they have him speaking French for some reason. I think, maybe, he was the car that originally trapped the English girl and then turned an illusion off - were they trying to use Mirage there? Who knows, the writers don't. The other dinobots are around, but they are baby(?) Transformers? Grimlock appears everywhere but doesn't appear in the final battle, who knows why.
Like Ben said a year ago, the fact that the original Hot Rod was based on a futuristic car and looks like something that could exist in the world as a cartoon, but that design doesn't is so laughable. Everything looks like utter shit in this movie. I will give them credit for making Wahlberg likable, I guess. Oh, and the English gal was great.
Zero out of five stars.
It was probably the worst movie I've ever seen. This thread is 10 years old and just to confirm, I'd never seen the others.
What a mess. I mean, I guess this is Michael Bay's thing now and he loves himself for it. It was two and a half hours long and should have been 70 minutes. Every single scene ends with the (laughably untalented) screenwriters going AN' AN' AN' THEN THERE WAS SHIPS! AND SUBS! AN' AN' AN MOOOOOOOOOM TOMMY WONT LET ME PLAY WITH HOT ROD!
Tommy: Jamapelle croissoint fewf fewf lol
MOOOOOMMMM
Just racing from one stupid scene to the next, and God forbid if you didn't see the others. Why was John Turturro in this? I hope the answer is because of something he did in one of the other movies. I am PRAYING that is it because even if you handwave over all the other rubbish, the fact that Bay thinks, "People enjoy my work; they've seen the others, they will get it" takes it to its own level of contempt.
Everything in this hunk of shit was so ridiculously stupid and retarded. I cannot believe grown adults spent time making this nonsense. Where's the fucking dignity? They honestly believe it's going to make money anyway, so why do anything well. I've worked at companies that made profits. I still took pride in what I did.
I won't even get into the fact that the entire story sounds like someone kinda, sorta heard about the Transformers once and awkwardly tried to shove it in to this stupid movie at times while rolling their eyes and doing it badly on purpose. There is a three-headed dragon in it, should have been Sky Lynx. But it isn't, so I guess they are making their own stuff up? OK, but then they go and name someone Hot Rod, who was the protagonist of the animated movie, but they have him speaking French for some reason. I think, maybe, he was the car that originally trapped the English girl and then turned an illusion off - were they trying to use Mirage there? Who knows, the writers don't. The other dinobots are around, but they are baby(?) Transformers? Grimlock appears everywhere but doesn't appear in the final battle, who knows why.
Like Ben said a year ago, the fact that the original Hot Rod was based on a futuristic car and looks like something that could exist in the world as a cartoon, but that design doesn't is so laughable. Everything looks like utter shit in this movie. I will give them credit for making Wahlberg likable, I guess. Oh, and the English gal was great.
Zero out of five stars.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!