Star Wars 9: The Rise of Skywalker

[ChainGangGuy]

I have now viewed this program.

[Flack]

My wife decided she wanted to see Episode 9 in the theater so the two of us went today. It was my second time to see it and her first. We went to this fun new theater that has an arcade, a concession stand, a bar, and a ten-lane bowling alley. The theater itself was also really nice, with great picture, sound, and seats that rumbled.

I have to walk back some of my critiques. Whether it was the speed-of-light pacing or simply Star Wars awe, I missed a few things the first time around. I did a bit of reading about the Knights of Ren (I know they were mentioned in previous films but I guess I forgot about them) and even though they were still glanced over here, their appearance made more sense. Also, mostly from reading, I know more about the Sith worshipers and a few other things. I missed a line the first time about why C-3P0 wouldn't translate Sith, so that's more clear, and I think I followed the Wayfinder more closely this time.

None of this is to say it's a perfect film -- it's far from, having to pull triple duty as to clean up the mess Episode 8 left behind, wrap up a trilogy, and wrap up the entire Skywalker saga was really too much to ask any single film to do, but I disliked it less than I did last time.

I still have a hard time believing that much of the old Death Star remains intact, but you know what they say, if you're going to buy into space horses, you going to buy into it all.

[ChainGangGuy]

I have to walk back some of my critiques. Whether it was the speed-of-light pacing or simply Star Wars awe, I missed a few things the first time around. I did a bit of reading about the Knights of Ren (I know they were mentioned in previous films but I guess I forgot about them) and even though they were still glanced over here, their appearance made more sense. Also, mostly from reading, I know more about the Sith worshipers and a few other things. I missed a line the first time about why C-3P0 wouldn't translate Sith, so that's more clear, and I think I followed the Wayfinder more closely this time.

Somebody, quick, fetch Flack's critiques! I have always been loathe to subscribe to the belief that a movie's flaws and failing will all be set right if I were to just read these ten novels, check out the latest comic books, maintain a current subscription to Star Wars Insider and pre-buy the deluxe edition of Jedi: Fallen Order.

[Flack]

Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. I forgive the stuff that was in the film (and I missed), but not the stuff that requires homework to understand. The Star Wars Visual Compendium contains, among other bits of information, the names, descriptions, and backstories for all six Knights of Ren. In the book, they're a cross between the biggest bad asses of the galaxy and the Cenobites from Hellraiser. That's why I was so surprised to see them fall to one man so quickly. In Children of the Corn it was established that even six kids can be a handful when they attack all at once, and in Ninja III: The Domination, six police officers were able to finish off the most bad ass ninja of all time (in the ninja's defense he had been shot 47 times already and jumped from a moving helicopter). Point being, you would think six Sith-trained knights would put up more of a fight.

[Jizaboz]

Alright! This afternoon I awoke from a nap to see my GF watching return of the Jedi on tv. “I’ve seen this in the theater and again so many times. Let’s go see the new one.” I said. The little cheap theater 5 minutes from me was showing it at 5 pm (45 minutes from then).

We share a little smoke then ride over there. I’ve gone to this place off and on for over 20 years. It’s always been small, cheap, and ok quality. The latter is now up for debate. At any rate, today admission was 4.25 and we got a large popcorn and drink for 7.25 to support the local theater (plus fuck going to a movie without )

The physical rate of the theater is near the state of the Death Star ruins. There was a slight rip in the screen, the drop ceiling is riddled with holes and water stains, zero cushion is left in the seats, and the area smells of rat death and stale cigarettes. Otherwise, a delightful theater.

The first thing that struck me is that this is an attention grabbing movie. I kept waiting for a dull moment to go pee and take a few drags of nicotine vape outside, but that moment never arrived! I’m thankful for being able to watch a little of the beginning via bootleg. The beginning is awesome and man.. the only complaint I can have with this movie is there should have been more scenes in that creepy clone lab. This is the kind of shit I pay to see sci-fi movies for.

I’m not a very emotional person and didn’t cry but definitely felt the heart strings pulled a bit. Mainly just for nostalgia, naturally. If you belong to the “saw an original long ago” group I think you can agree that Disney didn’t piss on our dreams with this one. My sister mentioned when she saw it she nearly broke down when “Ben” died. Haha fuck that shithead. Plus, we were already thinking at least 2 other characters were done for so somebody gotta die.

The part where “We the people” had their own fleet assembled near the end was typical feel good bullshit. The Deathstar was nuked in Revenge (heh) of the Jedi so I agree that I dunno how that much stuff was left. The waves in that area were cool though. Reminded me of nightmares.

With those slight flaws and lack of just a little more clone lab emperor stuff I give this..

8 out of 10 stars. And that’s saying a lot from someone who hates most everything.

[Flack]

Right, so, no -- I didn't get choked up when Kylo Ben died. Who cares. BUT, toward the end when Maz Kanata pulls out Luke's medal from the Battle of Yavin and gives it to Chewbacca (who infamously didn't get one in the original Star Wars medal ceremony)... that one got me.

[Jizaboz]

Flack, maybe you can help me out here..

Who was the Sith executioner in this movie? The very brief scene where we see the parents being stabbed by a creepy black-eyed dude. Like what alien race was that guy even? I’d like to know a little more lore around that scene. It was short, but pretty chilling.

Also still wishing they had shown off that clone lab more haha

[Flack]

Rey's parents were killed by Ochi, a Sith Assassin (the black-eyed dude you mentioned). He was the same guy who went to Pasaana (the desert planet), whose skeleton we see in Rise of Skywalker, and the owner of that dagger with the Sith writing on it (the same dagger used to kill Rey's parents). He also also the owner of D-O ("dio"), the new one-wheeled droid in the movie. You would never put all that together just from watching the film, btw. There is a fan side theory that Ochi might have been used to create the Snoke clone.

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ochi

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I truly don't want to be a downer, but man I didn't like this movie at all. And all these fake scripts (well, plots) are coming out that are a million times better than what we got. I think the people in this forum could crowd source a better story.

I guess the portions I liked were C-3PO's part (though they tried so hard to make it dumb by having him be UNABLE to discuss ... Sith ... language??) and the part where Rey, Poe and Finn were together. That should have been most of the movie. Adam Driver as an actor is great but his character is total dogshit and I agree with Flack, who cares what happened to him, we weren't ever given a reason to like him.

Luke caught a lightsaber! Pretty cool. UM, if the force ghosts can physically touch things then why wouldn't they get involved with everything that's going on. (And ten more plot holes.)

[Jizaboz]

I truly don't want to be a downer, but man I didn't like this movie at all.

Yeah, well, that's just.. your opinion, man.

You should have got stoned before you saw it lol

[Jizaboz]

Rey's parents were killed by Ochi, a Sith Assassin (the black-eyed dude you mentioned). He was the same guy who went to Pasaana (the desert planet), whose skeleton we see in Rise of Skywalker, and the owner of that dagger with the Sith writing on it (the same dagger used to kill Rey's parents). He also also the owner of D-O ("dio"), the new one-wheeled droid in the movie. You would never put all that together just from watching the film, btw. There is a fan side theory that Ochi might have been used to create the Snoke clone.

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ochi

Interesting! Thanks. Now I want a "Ochi the Murderer" side story because everyone says Solo sucks real bad.

[ChainGangGuy]

Who was the Sith executioner in this movie? The very brief scene where we see the parents being stabbed by a creepy black-eyed dude. Like what alien race was that guy even? I’d like to know a little more lore around that scene. It was short, but pretty chilling.

Mason Verger.

[AArdvark]

I was just thinking... I Never liked Splinter Of The Mind's Eye because it wasn't canon. I think Alan Dean Foster said he'd write the Star Wars book for George Lucas if he could write a Star Wars story under his own name. George said he was too busy directing and the studio said they wanted a book released as the same time as the movie so they got ADF.
Anyway, is it possible for Splinter to be made as a movie now? Maybe with lookalikes for Mark Hamil and the late Carrie Fischer, I mean Star Trek style, younger vibrant stand-ins. Now that the nine movies are done they have to dig into the SW vault for side movies. Perhaps a Hammerhead movie..or A Droids Life movie. But Splinter is do-able.


THE
HALLA
AARDVARK

[Flack]

Anyway, is it possible for Splinter to be made as a movie now? [...] Now that the nine movies are done they have to dig into the SW vault for side movies.

Short answer is no. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm, they didn't want to be tied down by anything in the extended universe and so all the books and video games and everything else in the extended universe that was previously canon is now "legends" which means "it didn't happen." Disney's Lucasfilm maintains ownership of the characters, but the stories have been wiped.

Also, the Solo stand alone movie did terrible, and the last thing Disney wants to do is make another Solo stand alone movie.

[pinback]

I didn't read any of the above cuz I hadn't seen it yet. Tonight we watched the first half. We'll finish it up tomorrow.

What a steaming pile of garbage!

I liked 7 and 8. I'm not anti-third-trilogy. But this... this is all terrible. ALL of it.

[RetroRomper]

To understand the beginning of Star Wars IX, you had to have been aware of and present for an event exclusive to Fortnite. I feel that the merchandising for Star Wars has eclipsed any sort of artistic vision or search of coherency that made the original trilogy so special.

[Tdarcos]

So there's definitely some things you just have to buy into if you want to enjoy the film.

Yeah, like a ticket.

[pinback]

Hoooly Christ was that bad. I mean, shockingly awful in every respect.

[pinback]

I liked it less than everyone else in this thread, unless ICJ was being polite.

[pinback]

They rolled Billy Dee Williams out of bed so he could say "We had each other". That tells you all you need to know.

I didn't care for the film, is that coming across?