Here is the Surprise I mentioned

[Tdarcos]

Since Flack was nice enough to send me a carton of Mamba, and he's a member of this BBS, I decided to post the unboxing video here instead of on Caltrops.

As I said in the video, "Thank you, Flack."

[youtube][/youtube]

[Flack]

A thorough job indeed, sir! I hope orange ones are your least favorite. Your special effects were great and made me laugh. I hope you enjoy the Mambas as much as I enjoyed the video.

You're welcome, Paul.

[AArdvark]

That's cool!


You're looking better than you did in the Tuna Noodle Casserole video. Been getting some sun?


THE
WHITE BALANCE
AARDVARK

[pinback]

That was oddly mesmerizing. And now I kinda want one. I wish you'd eaten one, I don't know what a "Mamba" is. Is it like Starbursts?

[Tdarcos]

That was oddly mesmerizing. And now I kinda want one. I wish you'd eaten one, I don't know what a "Mamba" is. Is it like Starbursts?

You can play The Bridgetender's canned response.

I've found them better than Starburst, myself. Big problem is not every store carries them.

The thing is, if you guys hadn't asked for an inventory and a count, i'd never have done the video. And once I started doing it I got ideas. Like making the items stack up automatically. I kept fucking that up by not leaving some items alone for at least a second or two to allow them to be edited, or keep my hands out of the view of the camera.

Otherwise I think it came out pretty good.

[The God's Honest Truth]

Jesus Fucking Christ Paul! If I would've known you weren't 100% upstairs, I wouldn't have said all of those mean things to you.

[pinback]

Jesus Fucking Christ Paul! If I would've known you weren't 100% upstairs, I wouldn't have said all of those mean things to you.

What are you talking about?

[Angry Stewart Payne]

Is he not the most grounded of all of us?

[Billy Mays]

Jesus Fucking Christ Paul! If I would've known you weren't 100% upstairs, I wouldn't have said all of those mean things to you.

What are you talking about?

You know exactly what I'm talking about you sick fuck. The man clearly has Down syndrome, and you've been encouraging all of those nasty things I've been saying to him.

I'm not even exaggerating when I say that it has been nothing but uncontrollable vomiting spurts in between sessions of much deserved self-flagellation since seeing that video.

Jerry Lewis needs to run that video on loop during his next telethon, half the remaining diseases on the planet would get cured the funding would come in so fast.

[AArdvark]

He doesn't have Down's. Maybe a passing acquaintance with Assburger's, but not Down's.

face it, it's your guilty pleasure to harass him.



THE
RIDE THE MOPED
AARDVARK

[Tdarcos]

You know exactly what I'm talking about you sick fuck. The man clearly has Down syndrome,

I'm not sure what you do for a living, Billy, but I suggest you'd be perfect as one of those state doctors who always says the defendant in a criminal trial pleading insanity is completely sane no matter how nuts he is, unless the doctor is having to defend keeping him in prison, then the guy is crazier than Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Hannibal Lecter, combined.

First because you don't like atheism, on the basis of nothing more than their names you declared two very influential and intelligent Youtubers having autism despite never seeing either of them or hearing what they had to say.

Then, because I admit I am one, you proceed to tag me with Downs Syndrome, and because I mentioned Pinback is also one, you start picking on him.

In short, you can quit the comedy act because it ain't working any more. Calling a non-believer in your god a person with a mental disease will not make your god any less a figment of people's imagination.

Besides that, I already told you that the people who think I have problems are restricted to diseases or conditions beginning with the letter "A", like Alzheimers or Autism.

[Billy Mays]

First because you don't like atheism, on the basis of nothing more than

I believe in God?

their names

are total shit? Come on, the least we can do is agree upon this.

you declared two very influential

To who?

The only scenario where any of these jerk-offs are going to be speaking in front of the UN or at Solvay is when the entire world is literally burning down to the ground, and even then only be to accentuate the "zero fucks given" atmosphere of their giant cocaine and sex orgies.

and intelligent Youtubers

nope.

having autism

The blame here goes to genetics, not my accusations. Plus, I can freely throw around that word because I more than likely have it.

despite never seeing either of them or hearing what they had to say.

This is where I call bullshit, you insert these fucking tools into every goddamn conversation on this board.

Then, because I admit I am one, you proceed to tag me with Downs Syndrome,

Ok, here I took it a little too far. The important thing is that I was trying to show you a little compassion for once.

and because I mentioned Pinback is also one, you start picking on him

This is not true.

I am pretty sure the first post I made on this board was one that was viciously attacking pinback, a complete stranger to me even now, for no reason whatsoever.

In short, you can quit the comedy act because it ain't working any more.

The other day you asked me to resume my comedy act:

Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:59 pm 
So go ahead, maybe I need more practice at being insulted in order to get my skin toughened up again.

Calling a non-believer in your god a person with a mental disease will not make your god any less a figment of people's imagination.

I am not sure how I can make this any clearer, I've stated it numerous times here, I don't have a problem with atheists, I don't have a problem with people in the atheism community, my problem is when people in the atheism community post stupid videos and then hound me for not watching them.

Do you know why I don't watch them? It is because I don't give shit, and they bore me to death. If I don't even watch videos on my crazy beliefs, then why in the fuck would I watch videos on yours?

Do you like tractors? I sure as shit hope not, because from now on I will be responding to all of your atheism videos with tractor videos until I get the slightest inkling that you are deriving even the slightest bit of joy from them, and then I will switch over to something equally mundane.

Besides that, I already told you that the people who think I have problems are restricted to diseases or conditions beginning with the letter "A", like Alzheimers or Autism

or Ass Cancer?

[pinback]

Awesome, now we have two guys able to derail perfectly good threads with pages of irrelevant horseshit.

[Jizaboz]

Yeah fuck you Billy Mays.

[⊤darcos]

Yeah fuck you Billy Mays.

I deserved that.

[Didn't see this coming.]

That was a symbol used in lattice theory that looks almost identical to a T...and, uh, I guess the board doesn't recognize it...so, yeah.

[pinback]

Can I just point out that the length of Tdarcos' Mamba video is 13:37.

There is zero chance that's not intentional.

[Jizaboz]

Can I just point out that the length of Tdarcos' Mamba video is 13:37.

There is zero chance that's not intentional.

Haha I did not notice that!

Also, I agree with Flack on the special effects. Reminds me of Gumby (still one of my favorite shows). All it's missing is some weird "whoop!" sound effects as the candy packages appear.

[AArdvark]

Think of the 'I Dream of Jeanie' sound effect...




THE
IT'S PRETTY FUNNY
AARDVARK

[pinback]

Think of the 'I Dream of Jeanie' sound effect...

I tried for a little bit and then just started jerking off to Barbara Eden.

(Which is also funny with that sound effect.)