EA really needs to be stopped.

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Jack Straw
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EA really needs to be stopped.

Post by Jack Straw » Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:13 am

If EA were a figure skater, I'd wail them in the back of the knees like Tonya harding, only hard enough to incapacitate them from the yearly regurgitation of complete shit.

And now...
they have the BALLS to charge 20 bones for a TRAILER of madden 2007.
holy shit.
Hey guess what? If you're an idiot that can't stand to wait for even a shred of Madden 07, you can grab a pay-per-view preview of the game starting August 4th. That's right, a behind the scenes marketing video -- the kind that most companies freely distribute on the Internet -- will be available on your TV for a mere 20 dollars American. EA and ESPN should be reviled for this, and rightfully so. The sad thing is that this will make money for EA. There are people stupid enough to pay EA to advertise a product they were already planning on buying.

So, in conclusion, if any of you are even considering this, don't. You'll be feeding the hungriest damned company around and likely starting a very bad trend. Sorry for the rant, but this is absolute BS.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:48 pm

We run a clean ship here, so nobody was so stupid to say something like, "It's good that EA has the sole NFL license." Even though on boards like Something Awful and Quarter to Three and (I'm going to go ahead and guess) Gamefaqs... people were saying idiotic statements like that.

Then again, those stupid bastards are also going to pony up the cost of a game to see pre-rendered

screenshots. I love how they picked $20. For a penny less you could have purchased the retail version of

NFL2K5. THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING. You can't even get a preview for that much money from EA.

I'm sorry that it's become cliched, but I think that businesses are using that to their advantage. They want people to gripe about their stupid horseshit so that the person griping gives up or feels that he is repeating himself. They'd love that. I wish we got some viral marketers over here.

Here's my prediction: the magazine previews will include the line, "This year, EA really plans on fixing the running game." It's only been in the previews for the last TEN FUCKING YEARS. Actually, seeing how the only interesting story to come out of the games industry in the last five years was the whole EA_Spouse thing that revealed EA to be one of the worst places to work in America and the gaming magazines either sat on the story or were wholly ignorant of it, I bet they will continue to suck EA's cock and spin this pay-for-preview shit the right way.

Man, what a disgusting hobby. No wonder I get more enjoyment buying up games that are 25 years old.

There's no chance that Bally Midway is going to buy up design studios and lay them off. The VidKidz aren't asking for the price of a new game so they can show you screenshots. What a dumb hobby, this modern-day gaming thing.
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Lysander
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Post by Lysander » Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:27 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:We run a clean ship here, so nobody was so stupid to say something like, "It's good that EA has the sole NFL license." Even though on boards like Something Awful and Quarter to Three and (I'm going to go ahead and guess) Gamefaqs... people were saying idiotic statements like that.
Ahaahahahahaahahahahaaahaahahahahaha. I love this fucking board.
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Post by Lysander » Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:28 pm

EDIT: EA spouse? What is this endless fount of hilarity? Also turn on editing of posts, you gigantic cock mongril.
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:08 pm

Lysander wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:We run a clean ship here, so nobody was so stupid to say something like, "It's good that EA has the sole NFL license." Even though on boards like Something Awful and Quarter to Three and (I'm going to go ahead and guess) Gamefaqs... people were saying idiotic statements like that.
Ahaahahahahaahahahahaaahaahahahahaha. I love this fucking board.
http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk ... hp?t=27905

SECOND POST. Somebody fucking defended it.

Jesus Christ. I think between that and the guy who said that just seeing the word "Wii" conjured up newfound and vibrant gameplay ideas it's time for me to stop going there.

(Though it was nice to see the one sane guy left over there give it shit at the end of page one. Of course, he is the same guy I buy this site's webhosting from so it really makes me feel good to know that he thinks Madden is a fucking joke as well.)
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:30 pm

Lysander wrote:EDIT: EA spouse? What is this endless fount of hilarity? Also turn on editing of posts, you gigantic cock mongril.
Someone correct me if I have the details wrong, but basically there was a woman who was married to a programmer for EA. The guy was into never-ending crunch time -- 80-hour weeks.

Crunch time is due to the incompetence of management, by the way. There is no reason for any software project to have to go into "crunch time," much less EVERY project at a company.

So, calling herself ea_spouse, she fires off a blog entry detailing the kind of shit that she and her fiance have to put up with. The working conditions were fucking terrible. I don't care if one is sitting in front of a computer or moving piles of rock from location to location, if you are constantly forced to work 80 hour weeks -- not just here or there, but constantly -- then the managers responsible should be fired and barred from the industry. But that would never happen, natch. Anyway, this goes on everywhere with video game development studios. It's impossible for the game magazines to not have known. But they didn't say anything about it. They never would have. They're not journalists, they're not writers, they're not members of the press, they're not professionals and they should never be taken seriously.

Right now Rusty Rueff, the HR director of EA, could be throwing the children of his employees into traffic and everyone from the various "gaming mags" would cast their eyes downwards and shuffle out of the room, hoping to not get yelled at even though they don't even work for that maggot. Here's a great quote. Lysander, when you enter the job market, consider the piece of advice I am about to give you. If the HR drone for the company you are thinking about working for ever says the following:
Rusty Rueff wrote:"During the past couple of years inside a creative organization, I've learned that innovation requires tension. For most of us, our most productive days happen when we feel like our backs are against the wall -- because that's when creativity comes out. The best ideas are yet to come: We're now in a cycle where we feel that tension, and if we combine tension with an environment that encourages us to take risks, big ideas will emerge."
FUCKING RUN. "Innovation requires tension." Jesus fucking Christ. I bet he was right down there in the trenches with the programmers and scripters, working 120 hours in a week, not seeing his wife for more than an hour a day for an entire month, smelling like tacos and old grunders, creating more bugs than he's fixing. What a worthless piece of human garbage. First off, like EA has innovated anything since Hard Hat fucking Mack. Secondly, blatantly glossing over his company's inability to act with even a modicum of professionalism and fair wages by saying that "big ideas" will emerge: who the fuck buys that kind of shit?

I'm going to ask 40 twentysomethings to all work 18 hour days in a building without offices or air conditioning as a matter of course and then tell the world that "big ideas" have emerged. Here are the big ideas currently on the first page of ea.com:

Roster update: football
Roster update: soccer
Pretend to be a head coach (football without actually being able to control the guys, Jesus fuck)
WWII game
Sims sequel

Waitasec, hold the presses. They're working on roster update: hockey???!
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Post by AArdvark » Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:38 pm

As an HR guy you couldn't expect him to say:

Well yeah, we push our programmers to gain the maximum amount of coding for the minimum amount of money. We know our release dates are totally impossible, but it's so much fun to run our coders into the ground. They can sleep when they are dead, right? Everything is about the money here. For example, right now I COULD be doing something that might help make us the next two billion dollars. Something like hiring bottom wage entrants to the field, but I'm taking my valuable time RESPONDING to you. This is costing EA more money than you can imagine right now. YOU are hurting our bottom line by even reading this. Out.

Maybe it's how they really feel.


THE
TIME = MONEY
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Post by Lysander » Fri Jul 28, 2006 9:14 pm

Would it ruin everything to mention that I actually have a job?
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:44 pm

Here is an example:

http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk ... 039&page=2

One "games journalist" is having a pasting fantasy a few posts down regarding how he'd like to knock out the average video game purchaser.

He is a -=JOURNALIST!=- So he's definitely better than the guy who went there for the Flesh Feast tchotchkes. Only... video game journalists don't investigate anything. The don't do any real reporting. They constantly fall for a publisher's hype. They've no credentials. They're fucking worthless.

And you see this constantly from these bottom-rung fucks. There's a guy that writes for Gamasutra who goes on forums and pleads with consumers to not go to E3. It's taken care of, man! He'll tell you just what you need to know! You shouldn't be there! You're not important, like him. You don't write for a Really Important.... website.

This stupid, dumb hobby is filled with maggots that I can't stand. There must be something wrong with me because I keep going back to the forums they hang out on and I disgust myself. I am trying to eliminate negativity, so I probably shouldn't do that.
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Post by AArdvark » Mon Jul 31, 2006 7:05 pm

So what is really needed is an E3 that's open to the public.

With all the hype and hooteresqe girls and big screens. Keep the real E3 small and industrial. A secret treehouse meeting, if you will. Make Videopalooza a three day event with radio contests for tickets, 100 word essays on why I need to get to V-pallooza emailed to the company websites, the whole schmear. Then everyone will be happy.


THE
PIXELS
FOR THE MASSES
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Post by Jack Straw » Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:29 pm

ahem.
There's a post over at the blog Dubious Quality that points out a little something most of you may not know when you sign up to play an Electronic Arts game on Xbox Live: The company is tracking your personal information. What EA exactly wants with this info, is certainly up for debate. But the fact they are going to these extremes is a little frighting for most. Check out what they want:

* If you sign up to play EA games through Microsoft's Xbox Live Service, Microsoft will provide your Xbox Live user account information to EA.
* Information collected will vary depending upon the activity and may include your name, e-mail address, phone number, mobile number, home address, birth date and credit card information.
* We may collect demographic information such as gender, zip code, information about your computer, hardware, software, platform, media, Internet IP address and connection, information about online activity such as feature usage, game play statistics and scores, user rankings and click paths and other data that you may provide in surveys or online profiles.

Um, you can take our credit card info? Our home address? Now, we're not one to don the tin foil hat, but put in the wrong hands, this could get a little sketchy. Anyone else have a big problem with this?
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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:56 pm

AArdvark wrote:So what is really needed is an E3 that's open to the public.

With all the hype and hooteresqe girls and big screens. Keep the real E3 small and industrial. A secret treehouse meeting, if you will. Make Videopalooza a three day event with radio contests for tickets, 100 word essays on why I need to get to V-pallooza emailed to the company websites, the whole schmear. Then everyone will be happy.
Seriously. And I like how it used to be this "trade show" for EB managers and so forth. EB Managers stock what they're told to stock and the number of copies a video game sells is directly proportional to the game's marketing budget and whether or not it is a sequel.

Nobody has any reason to be at E3.

The city of New Orleans should put together the kind of show you describe, 'Vark. I think most of the area is ready for outsiders to start puking in the streets again.
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Post by hygraed » Sun Aug 27, 2006 12:01 pm

There are better things to spend $20 on. Like an actual game. Or beer.

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