Guess This Chick's Problem.

Funny threads throughout the site's history.

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:20 pm

I think the time has come for a regime change here at JC.

I don't think the top guy can cut it any longer.

Something horrible must have happened to his brain area.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:32 pm

I'm fine. My brain? My brain operates with superhuman speed and precision. But don't get me wrong. If any of you lot wanted to run this place for a week, be my guest. You will all be BEGGING for me to come back to this place before that week is up. You think this shit is easy?

"You think this shit is easy?!?" -- someone, some movie

Well... it ain't.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:38 pm

The snake's name is "Henry".
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:51 pm

When I went on dates that I found I didn't want to go on, I just completed them nicely and politely. Afterwards, OK, maybe I never called the person again but still.

My advice for you would be to arrange a social meeting in a public place with this woman, and see if she can give you a description of something she's wearing. Obtain a bright orange traffic cone, and then tell her what you will be wearing.

("I'll be wearing Ice Cream Jonsey's windbreaker." -- B "P" P)

However! You do not wear what you said you'd wear! This is critical. Do not wear it. Wear the opposite.

Show up to the agreed-upon venue, and identify her. If she is not what she purported to be then you drop the orange traffic cone and LEAVE SKID MARKS tearing the living fuck out of that place.

If she does look and seem agreeable & presentable, then relax, introduce yourself, indulge in dignified social intercourse with her and be sure to mention "skydiving."

Oh. And be sure she never finds this thread.

If she asks why you were not wearing what you said, casually mention that you got robbed beforehand. She's at that stage where she'll believe anything.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:52 pm

pinback wrote:The snake's name is "Henry".
Henry's job is to shed his skin, yours is to make Brunhilde shed her clothes. I like you, Pinner, so I'm going to call you White Papi. White Papi, LET'S GET PHUNKY!
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Post by Guest » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:53 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:This is the worst post I have ever encountered, in all my life on the net.
Keep in mind it was posted by someone named "pinback." Draw your own conclusions.

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Post by itgirl » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:56 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:But the theory I read (maybe it was in FHM or something) is that women do not find that funny and men do.
And yet I found it hilarious. Even with him dead.

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Post by itgirl » Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:00 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:However! You do not wear what you said you'd wear! This is critical. Do not wear it. Wear the opposite.
Wow. That was done by Van Johnson in a Judy Garland movie. "In the Good Old Summertime," 1946. A remake of "The Shop Around the Corner," 1940. Later remade as "You've Got Mail," 1998 or 1999.

Quite an original strategy, that.

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:29 pm

itgirl wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:However! You do not wear what you said you'd wear! This is critical. Do not wear it. Wear the opposite.
Wow. That was done by Van Johnson in a Judy Garland movie. "In the Good Old Summertime," 1946. A remake of "The Shop Around the Corner," 1940. Later remade as "You've Got Mail," 1998 or 1999.

Quite an original strategy, that.
Which one included the orange traffic cone for hilarious comic detail? Ho ho ho!!!

But wait! They remade "The Shop Around the Corner" a scant six years later? This wasn't the silent era where you could put any ragtag title on your filmed slop and call it a remake, rework or original piece of motioned cinema as much ya like. The original director probably had a vision and was quite pleased with his result the first time round, and then comes that huge slut Garland to whore her way all around the new version. I bet that Americans everywhere -- at least the ones not getting their jimmies shot off by Uncle Adolph and/or suffering from the Zuluian flu -- were INCENSED by that.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:25 pm

Here's new news:

She has cats, and enjoys spicy food.

Okay, come on. Which one of you is it? Ha ha ha, very funny, we all had a good laugh. But this has really gone far enough.
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:26 pm

pinback wrote:Here's new news:

She has cats, and enjoys spicy food.

Okay, come on. Which one of you is it? Ha ha ha, very funny, we all had a good laugh. But this has really gone far enough.
I didn't mean to refer to your earlier ventures as "house warming" or "house sitting." I was genuinely confused as to what was going on.

Will you accept my apology? Will you, you shit? FUCK. Sorry on that.

But will you? For the earlier thing. I didn't mean anything cold or cruel by it.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:29 pm

That was a lie.

For each lie you tell me, I shall kill one of your cats.

There are now two remaining.

Care to try again?
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Post by AssClown » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:34 pm

Jesus, is Pinback ever remotely pleasant? What a fag!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:35 pm

pinback wrote:That was a lie.

For each lie you tell me, I shall kill one of your cats.

There are now two remaining.

Care to try again?
My cats?

"I'll tell you what, that Halo II is going to be one hell of a game."

How many more before I don't have to go back over and get them? One?

"I enjoy things."

SEE YOU NEXT TIME WHEN WE'RE IN HELL, PARRISH
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:40 pm

AssClown wrote:Jesus, is Pinback ever remotely pleasant? What a fag!
I'm not sure a newbie named "AssClown" need to be making these sorts of statements.

But JC has changed a lot over the past few years. Maybe that's how things are here anymore.

Hell, even the Simpsons went downhill eventually.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Worm » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:42 pm

Okay I have to say something here. I don't know about the people who know you in real life, but I don't give enough of a shit to intercept you at dating sites I don't even know you're using by setting up false responses.

Simple trick? Ask her if she has her own ad on Craigslist and check the date.
Last edited by Worm on Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Good point Bobby!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:47 pm

Methinks he dost protest too much.

I knew it was Worm.

FUCK YOU WORM. Toying with my emotions like that. Shame on you!

"Suck my DICK!" - Julianne Moore, _Magnolia_
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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:49 pm

Let me reiterate, this was not a personal ad I posted. Not "per se", rather. Not in the "personals" section of craigslist. It was just a shout out to find anyone in town (female or otherwise, though I did express a preference) interested in visiting the Reef.

In essence, I didn't care who showed up, but it's much more fun with two people as opposed to one. (And much more fun with six people as opposed to two.)
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Thu Oct 21, 2004 3:04 pm

pinback wrote:Let me reiterate, this was not a personal ad I posted. Not "per se", rather. Not in the "personals" section of craigslist. It was just a shout out to find anyone in town (female or otherwise, though I did express a preference) interested in visiting the Reef.

In essence, I didn't care who showed up, but it's much more fun with two people as opposed to one. (And much more fun with six people as opposed to two.)
Well, I mean, it's still "The Reef."

"Hay! I want everyone to sing Sweet Caroline!! Sing it!! You, dining on food!! SING!! BAAA DAAA BAAAAAH!!!!" Hahahaha! I'm so wacky!"

"Now here's my brother!"

"Sing All Shook Up! Go!! Huh!! I'M ALL SHOOK UP! Why aren't you singing? Don't you know the words? I know the words!"

"Spotlight on you! Everyone clap!"

"LOOK AT ME!!!!"
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback » Thu Oct 21, 2004 3:05 pm

They didn't do Sweet Caroline when you were there. That was last Frid---

Oh.
Above all else... We shall go on... And continue!

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