Basketball in the Hood

Funny threads throughout the site's history.

Moderators: AArdvark, Ice Cream Jonsey

Locked
User avatar
Knuckles the CLown
Posts: 1124
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:46 pm
Location: Shaker Heights, OH

Basketball in the Hood

Post by Knuckles the CLown » Fri Jul 02, 2004 3:30 pm

I had to get a job, so I went down to the poultry processing plant in West Livingston and much to my chagrin they hired me. I work this shitty job “cleaning” chickens for 8.95 an hour plus 50% bennies. Anyhow last Saturday “Gumms” McGrathley asked me what I was doing Sunday morning and I said “getting up, masturbating and then going to McDonalds for $1 griddle cakes” He asked me if I wanted to play basketball down at Grootz Park. Well the ol' clown suit has been getting a little tight so I said yes.

Sunday morning rolls around and I completed the aforementioned tasks and then took the bus to Gumms house. I wondered what splendor one lived in on an $8.95 chicken slaughtering gig and I was pleasantly revolted and not quite surprised. His house looked like a crude fort abandoned by gypsies. I remarked” Nice place gums, this shithole must’ve set you back a paycheck or one.” He replied “fuck you, knuckles I GOT equity in here”. Anyhow we stopped at the salvation army next door where I stole some Air Jordan knock offs called Air Jordaches, I think they used to belong to some filthy Muslim or something. Anyhow the left foot was a size 10 and the right a size 11.5, a perfect match, is there a Knuckles Muslim twin running around out there? (if so he’s probably throwing rocks at a kindergarten class in Istanbul or Zurich, or wherever those greasy pigs live).

Well I am sad and disappointed to find out that reliable transportation isn’t an added feature to being Gumms friend, so we have to hoof it to Grootz. We arrive and the place looks like a page out of National Geographic…. Because the walls around the court had been spray painted with lions and tigers and shit. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY IT WAS CAUSE THERE WAS A BUNCH OF BLACKS RUNNING AROUND!! FUCK YOU, YOU PASTY RACISTS!

Anyhow I survey the scene and it’s me, Gumm’s retarded ass and a bunch of black guys running around.
I counted and there were 10 of us so game on. Since all you bbsers do for exercise is throw dice for thacos and attributes, basketball is a 5 on 5 ball through goal orientated game that doesn’t require a fat guy in pads blocking the goal like hockey or soccer.

We divvy up teams and me and Gumms are separated on opposing teams. We are told to guard each other. After about 10 minutes of play I notice a disturbing trend. None of these assholes will pass me or Gumms the ball. We don’t say anything at first but finally the dam bursts after being passed over for a wide open lay-up. I screamed “Why don’t you fucking assholes pass me the ball” The one who I nicknamed Lips Jackson screamed back “screw you white boy, your shoes don’t even match BITCH” I told him I was gonna stick one of my mismatched shoes up his black ass. That made Gumms laugh..(Which isn’t pretty when he smiles it looks like a rotten ham sandwich with little pieces of corn sticking out) Well, the game stopped and I was being threatened by all eight of these black guys, I said “Don’t hurt me, I work at the chicken plant and if I miss work you fucks will be eating fried turkey with your collared greens.” That’s last thing I remember I woke up in a dumpster, I was beat up pretty bad. But the strange thing was when I got home and took of my stolen shoes-- they were both size 10.5
the last group complained, quite tellingly They said, "Why don't you have a spoon that just says 'Earth?' It would save time

User avatar
AArdvark
Posts: 7662
Joined: Tue May 14, 2002 6:12 pm
Location: Rochester, NY

Post by AArdvark » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:49 pm

Sentence structure is REMARKABLY like Necrotic Drift......



THE
REAL
AARDVARKS
DONT PLAY BASKETBALL

Worm
Posts: 3626
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

Re: Basketball in the Hood

Post by Worm » Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:18 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:Anyhow I survey the scene and it’s me, Gumm’s retarded ass and a bunch of black guys running around.I counted and there were 10 of us so game on. Since all you bbsers do for exercise is throw dice for thacos and attributes, basketball is a 5 on 5 ball through goal orientated game that doesn’t require a fat guy in pads blocking the goal like hockey or soccer.
Why the fuck are you leaning on the entire BBS because Bruce plays DnD and I constantly put off getting a game together?
Good point Bobby!

bruce
Posts: 2547
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2002 10:43 pm

Re: Basketball in the Hood

Post by bruce » Sat Jul 03, 2004 9:42 am

Worm wrote:
Knuckles the CLown wrote:Anyhow I survey the scene and it’s me, Gumm’s retarded ass and a bunch of black guys running around.I counted and there were 10 of us so game on. Since all you bbsers do for exercise is throw dice for thacos and attributes, basketball is a 5 on 5 ball through goal orientated game that doesn’t require a fat guy in pads blocking the goal like hockey or soccer.
Why the fuck are you leaning on the entire BBS because Bruce plays DnD and I constantly put off getting a game together?
Yeah. Anyway, for exercise, I also bang Knuckles's mom. But only if I fail my saving throw against better judgment.

Bruce

User avatar
Ice Cream Jonsey
Posts: 21617
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2002 2:44 pm
Location: Colorado
Contact:

Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:47 am

Knuckles posting is like someone dropping an atomic content bomb on Jolt Country.

P.S. I am not Knuckles.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

User avatar
Knuckles the CLown
Posts: 1124
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 2:46 pm
Location: Shaker Heights, OH

my mom

Post by Knuckles the CLown » Sat Jul 03, 2004 9:31 pm

My mother is currently under court order to have her vagina sewn shut, I'm not an exactly an only child . So while I assume your pindick could fit through the stichthes I HIGHLY DOUBT IT! She also is forced to abstain from anal sex do an embarrassing spontaneous enima at the Shaker Heights Wal-Mart in 94.

Anyhow lets not be lame and play the Knuckles guessing game. I'm not that deuche bag Robb and I don't like him anymore cause he let's all of losers friends visit him and then when I ask if I can stay for a week he got all bent out of shape. All I asked was to front me money for the greyhound ticket. I don't fly, If I wanna be uncomfortable sitting around a bunch of losers I'll go to one of your Star Trek role playing game parties.
Tommorw I'm going to be standing on a hill outside of Scholb Field to watch a Cleveland Browns Cincinati Bengals Celebrity Flag Football game. I'm not paying to go in becuase Bernie Kosar canceled and they got that bag of pus Brian Sipe to fill in. FUCK THAT SHIT!
_________________
HONK-HONK
the last group complained, quite tellingly They said, "Why don't you have a spoon that just says 'Earth?' It would save time

Worm
Posts: 3626
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 12:53 am
Location: tucked away between the folds of your momma, safe

Post by Worm » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:14 pm

Knuck, I think you are that Scientist Guy that posted a long time ago.
Good point Bobby!

Locked