[IS THIS THING ON?] Vitriola's Studs

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Vitriola

[IS THIS THING ON?] Vitriola's Studs

Post by Vitriola » Sat Aug 16, 2003 11:14 pm

Here, in true Pinback-like style, I attempt to present to anyone who cares the possible reasons why any one of you, at any time, might get a death threat in your inbox. Lonely am I? Not so, with this collection of possible accoutrements to complement my attire and bedroom interior:

Name: "A"
Pro: Is dating a great looking chick who is bi.
Con: He cheated on me with her.

Pro: The day he dumped me for her, I slept with her in his bed.
Con: She ultimately chose him. He chose her.

Pro: Game geek
Con: Whore

Pro: He's totally my physical type.
Con: Dick

STATUS: TERMINATED

Name: Z

Pro: Listens to my music
Con: Capable of selling my CDs behind my back if he needs cigarettes.

Pro: Has the coolest netname I've ever seen.
Con: Has spent waaay too much time on the internet, and has really no basis by which to measure normal human relationships.

Con: Has started reading these posts to figure out why I dumped him right after I got back from Vegas.
Pro: If he finds out, will generate more content than any one syesop could handle. HA-HA I'M KIDDING, HONEY. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

Pro: Bi
Con: Wants me to have a threesome with his roommate whenever I get drunk.

Con: Can't afford to get me as drunk as I'd need to be for that.
Pro: I'm actually sober as I write this.

Pro: BDSM
Con: Lives with his parents, punishment tends to get loud.

Pro: Is the kind of great person that called all the Bills bars today while I was showering to see if they were going to have the game on tonight.
Con: Lives in a state where the sports bars don't have satellites, and can't show the game. Whaaa?

Pro: Letting me live with him while I get my life straightened out.
Con: Got drunk and told everyone in the house I dumped him heartlessly, and they all glare at me now.

Pro: I'm still on the BDSM thing.
Con: Getting 2 people together with overly active fantasy lives is like people with braces kissing; they tend to grate and interfere with each other. How can I enjoy nice fantasies about molesting anime chicks when he's spinning some yarn about selling me into slavery?

STATUS: TERMINATED

Name: J

Con: The roommate in question from above
Pro: It's not like anyone can resent me any more around here, and at least 1 person would like me a whole lot better.

Pro: Air conditioning in room
Con: Freezing in room

Pro: Great entertainment system
Con: I could give a shit

Pro: Likes metal
Con: Doesn't like MY metal

Pro: cute
Con: short

Pro: Freak
Con: Talks about it to anyone who'll listen the next day

Pro: Submissive
Con: Too heavy to really throw around much

Pro: Young
Con: 8 years young

STATUS: TERMINATED

Name: R

Pro: Broadband
Con: Air mattress

Pro: Cute
Con: Not the lissome adonises I tend to prefer

Pro: Lives in California
Con: Lives with roommates who are Fussy.

Pro: Likes my music, burns me CDs
Con: Never lets me go home at night without askng me 14 times if I want to stay.

Pro: Let's me stay there if I need to due to current problems.
Con: Gives me shit if I don't let him sleep with me.

Pro: Understands my humor
Con: Won't forgive me for not returning his feelings.

STATUS: TERMINATED

Name: F

Pro: Obsessed with me
Con: Barely knows me

Pro: Submissive
Con: Pussy

Pro: Great sense of humor
Con: Kinda dumb

STATUS: TERMINATED

Name B "P" P

Pro: Lives near where I want to live.
Con: I'm sick of moving to different states because of stalkers.

Pro: Beats me at games.
Con: Beats me at games.

Pro: Alcoholic
Con: Cheap alcoholic

Con: Fucked some lightskirt doxy
Pro: Might have taught him a few things.
Con: Might have caught a few things.

STATUS: <strike>FANTASIZING</strike> IGNORING

Name: H

Pro: Metal chick
Con: Hasn't called back

Pro: Hot
Con: Wiccan

Pro: Went after me, and gave ME her number
Con: Had me visiting a New Age store to peruse a book of Wicca, to thereby increase my chances of getting her into bed.

Pro: Bi
Con: Flake

STATUS: WAITING

Name: Q

Con: Might not be my type
Pro: Will forcefeed me margaritas until he is my type

Con: Dork
Pro: Geek

STATUS: I think I may have a long and viable future with whatsisname, from wherezeeat. What'd he look like, again?

SUMMARY: In the past 7 years, I've been single for 9 (nine) days. SOBER UP YOU DRUNKEN WHORE AND GET A FREAKIN' JOB.
Last edited by Vitriola on Sat Aug 16, 2003 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Women's Colleges

Re: [IS THIS THING ON?] Vitriola's Studs

Post by Women's Colleges » Sat Aug 16, 2003 11:36 pm

Vitriola wrote:Con: Fucked some lightskirt doxy
:(

Women's Rights

Post by Women's Rights » Sun Aug 17, 2003 4:31 pm

You know, if one of the penically enhanced members of our society had written this, all the JC irregulars of this board would have ripped him a new poopchute. THIS INEQUALITY IS UNFORGIVABLE. THERE WILL BE NO SEX UNTIL THIS MATTER IS RIGHTED. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS, DO NOT DELUDE YOURSELF. WE MEAN BUSINESS.

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Ice Cream Jonsey
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Aug 17, 2003 4:47 pm

For what it's worth, there is a 81-post thread about this topic in the hidden base. Only the first forty posts are about this thread specifically, however, as in #41 Violet lets it be known that she is carrying Roody's child and will be raising him as a capitalist.
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bruce
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Post by bruce » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:11 pm

Shit.

Unless I'm "Q", I"m not even on that list.

I demand a recount.

Bruce

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Post by Roody_Yogurt » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:14 pm

My son is dead to me before he has even been born.

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:18 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:My son is dead to me before he has even been born.
Hee, hee, hee. Oh, Roody, Roody, Roody. You always know just the right thing to say.
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Violet
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Post by Violet » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:18 pm

however, as in #41 Violet lets it be known that she is carrying Roody's child and will be raising him as a capitalist.
Capitalist? hidden base? Roody and my child? I don't know where I was that day. Can I take a retest?

Roody junior, how cute is that.
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Violet
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Post by Violet » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:21 pm

I guess Roody junior will never know his father...I am going to dress him up as a little girl and call him violet instead.
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:44 pm

I was only kidding. The "hidden base" is just the one which has beta testing crap in it for the new game. Here is a typical thread:

Pinback: Say, Jonsey! How's that game coming?
ICJ: =(

I'll make it public after the game is released. The only saucy bit is when we discuss which females in our lives we ought to ask to be in the game's nude scene.
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Violet
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Post by Violet » Sun Aug 17, 2003 6:07 pm

So I'm not having Roody's baby? Damn and I had such evil plans to take over the world with my raging lunatic son. I just saw the movie Cherry Falls and it gave me some good ideas.
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Aug 17, 2003 6:13 pm

Violet wrote:So I'm not having Roody's baby?
Are you willing to raise him as a Godless Soviet? Are you willing for his nickname to be, regardless of hair color, "Red"? Are you willing to place, not a fork and knife in his hand in order to teach him out to eat, but rather a hammer and a sickle?
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Violet
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Post by Violet » Sun Aug 17, 2003 6:48 pm

So I am definetely not having Roody's baby.

Though naming a kid Red would be cool. Of course it would be after Red Sonya. Otherwise it sounds like a hick name.

My friend's father wanted to name her fist if she was a boy. Then she would have to defend herself to support her name. She would be the biggest bad ass of them all. That's a horrible reason to name a kid fist. If your going to make them defend their name at least make it cool. Fist sounds so 80's.

Conan or Thor now those are tough names. Coincidentally her boyfriend's name is Oden. Who wants to mess with a God? (Of course his real name is Andres, pronounced ondress. No wonder he changed it)
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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey » Sun Aug 17, 2003 7:01 pm

Violet wrote:So I am definetely not having Roody's baby.
Hey. Russians and those that think like them (during the Cold War) need love too, you know.

Maybe if Russian mothers loved *their* children a little more, they wouldn't currently be unloading arms... well, nuclear arms... on the people of Chechnya.

My friend's father wanted to name her fist if she was a boy. Then she would have to defend herself to support her name. She would be the biggest bad ass of them all. That's a horrible reason to name a kid fist. If your going to make them defend their name at least make it cool. Fist sounds so 80's.
Yeah. Plus, there's always the whole "Iron Fist" angle, and people teasing her about the location of her partner "Power Man."
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Post by bruce » Sun Aug 17, 2003 8:04 pm

Violet wrote: My friend's father wanted to name her fist if she was a boy. Then she would have to defend herself to support her name.
Jesus, why not borrow a page from Johnny Cash while you're at it and make the poor kid's name "Fist of Sue"?

Bruce

thorax

Post by thorax » Sun Aug 17, 2003 8:12 pm

bruce wrote:
Violet wrote: My friend's father wanted to name her fist if she was a boy. Then she would have to defend herself to support her name.
Jesus, why not borrow a page from Johnny Cash while you're at it and make the poor kid's name "Fist of Sue"?

Bruce

lol

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Post by Lysander » Sun Aug 17, 2003 10:14 pm

Y'see, iff I were completely tactless and annoying and pointless and, y'know, stuff, I'd make some sort of "she didn't say me toooo! Waaaaaaaaah!" post here. But I'm not. So I will instead say nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing.







:(
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Post by Roody_Yogurt » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:22 pm

For years, I've been saying that I wanted to name my son or maybe even daughter "Viacom", as I just would laugh if one born out of consumerism is the one to burn it all down. I've forgotten whether or not I'm joking about that.

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